I had the urge to write something with my wolf character, Avalon, in it. Just to keep in mind: I am a horribly inexpierenced writer. So, here it goes!

Her body ached, her paws were scraped, and almost all hope was lost.
She lumbered toward her own home, bursted into tears and cryed.
'They had gotten here, too?' She thought as she wept. 'Well, I will have revenge someday! And they'll be the ones upset!'
Avalon was ready now, she done moping about. She bounded to the forest when she was stopped by a shout.
It was a howling shout, only be made when almost dead. Avalon stopped in her tracks, her heart filled with led.
'It was him!' She thought. 'But then he lied?' Her head exploded with enormous pain, she laid down... and died.

How do you likey? I know... it's sad. But it leaves you wanting more, correct? This is actualy part of a story I'm writing ( except this is in poem form) and yes, pretty much all poems I write are stupid and dark. This one is not very dark and happen to be proud of it... Can you guys give me some tips and tell me what you think? Thanks for your help!