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Let it crackle beneath my crumbling skin
my gentle mind set to burst into flame at any moment
irrationality soaking me in black bile
driving all others away except those who wish
a sick desire to rend and maim
to hate or to place their heads before the red queen
I'll watch as they roll down a hill
It's up to me if I decide they matter
As they gather in heaps below me

Ignorance had been painful for too long
yet no matter how hard I tried bliss would not blanket
my tormented soul as it slowly warped
memories taunting me and teasing
showing what used to be blissful
a child's mind
a young heart growing stone cold
coated with vines of stress and age
my eyes can see
my heart can bleed
yet all anyone wants is to run far away
as the large shadow behind me is cast
and another avalanche begins
teaching me to again hate what it is I once craved

Broken promises litter the ground
dropped from excessive heights
and I try to put the pieces back together
unable to find enough strong glue
I fold them up in paper and
into myself I hide them
for fear that they are the lies spun by
sharpened teeth and claws aching
to rend me limb from limb
and to turn the forest red once more

Yet like a phoenix I rise from the dust
to try and re-live this life I have failed
to again repeat the past that once held
some sort of meaning



Only to hide again among golden trees
magic fountains bubbling from stone
in the background is Eden
and yet I am focused on Hell

Watch my head roll down to join the others
at the bottom of Gallows Hill
and yet let me stare up at you
as if to ask again
why you let me fall

Set blinders over my human eyes
as I ascend the stairs out of Hades
brace my long neck so I can't look back
for it's time to once again travel north
in my journey home
hoping for once that things don't come full-circle
that I can evade the circle of life a second time
losing everyone to my choices
except those truly close to me
and maybe even they as well

Let false hope poison
my heart and mind
yet again
until I realize
that I am not an angel
not a phoenix
but a re-occurring nightmare
of my own design.