/flail/ That looks awesome! Thank you so much! Do you have a dA? You could send it over through there...or...I could see if I could take the code out of the source...
{Popping in like we talked about! Sorry this is a little bumpy, still trying to get back into the swing of things =] }
It had been a tiring day.
Ish had met another pair of fawns, and spent his time chasing after them, always trailing behind on his unsteady legs. It had been wonderful, but a nice sit down, that was what he really wanted right now. He paused, sniffing at the air, trying to decide on a quiet place to rest his body. The scents of the forest were there, the flowers, sunlight on grass...and something else.
A musky, dry smell, ever so faint and tinged with something metallic. Now that was interesting. Curiosity won out over weariness. He picked up his hooves and inched towards the scent, creeping slowly between the trees. Straining his amber eyes, he could just make out a dark shape ahead. Another deer!
He seemed to be at rest, and Ish stopped in his tracks, cautious. Pressed right up against the trunk of a pine, he peered at the stag, eyes flashing over the gold streaks shot through his rough pelt. Tentatively, reluctant to leave the safety of his tree, Ish wobbled forward, dropping to one knee in an awkward bow. It was polite, after all, and he didn't want to disturb... but he kept his liquid eyes on the dark stag, head tilted to one side.
[Not a problem! I can be slow at answering at times, I get distracted really easily.]
Actaeon had been enjoying the sun, allowing the rays to trickle down to his pelt, heating up his neck under the scarf. His ears flicked to the sounds of something scuttling toward him. Pica? He turned his head around to catch a fawn he didn't recognize. Not Pica, but still a fawn. He gave a bow of his own, simply lowering his head to the ground instead of getting up. He was a little thing, the way he was wobbling around, whereas Pica had been bouncing and bounding all over the place.
"Hello there," he murmured, keeping his voice light and friendly through the mask on his face.
{That's alright! I do the same myself at times, or the gremlins will cut me off when I get my head together to do it!}
Ish kept still as the stag dipped his head, eyes fixed on the colourful fabric draped around his neck. It was an interesting adorment, he thought absently, and the colour matched the flowers of which he was so fond. His ears flicked forward, catching the greeting which drew him back from his wandering train of thought. It took a brief pause before he responded. “H-hello!” he faltered, his voice quavering slightly. Drawing breath, he took a few steps forward, breaking away from his tree. “I was just looking, I mean, I wondered...” Oh, dear. Spit it out! The dark stag had seemed amicable enough when he spoke. He shook his head, scolding himself before continuing. “I was just looking for a quiet place to rest. Would you mind if...?” He left the question hanging, unsure if he was pushing his luck. Had he interrupted?
Actaeon allowed the silence to go on for a few moments, thinking that he might try to finish his sentence, but the little one only allowed it to hang on the air, unspoken but known. He shifted over a bit, nodding "You wish to sit?" he allowed another pause before adding, "I don't mind if you do."
(Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. Or I'll do this and have short responses.-_-)
{People I've RP'd with tend to tell me I go on too much! So hopefully there'll always be something to work with =] I'm trying to keep my responses more manageable though, I think my problem is I'm used to RPing via snail mail, so it was a lot like writing a snippet of a story to make it worth all the time it took to send them back and forth! I sometimes forget that it's more rapid online so I should probably ramble on less, heh.}
A small shudder ran through the fawn as his sentence hung between them. His ears slicked back along his neck, hooves awkwardly shuffling. Then the stag seemed to move a little, inclining his head. Oh! He was inviting Ish to join him!
It took a moment to gather his legs together into some semblance of working order. Ears pricked high, he tottered closer, pausing as he came within a few short steps. “Thank you.” he managed to push out. Slowly, and with more care than was really necessary, he folded his gangly legs under him, sinking to the ground with what he felt was a respectful spacing between them.
He dipped his head again, not wanting to show himself up by gushing like a nervous fool. “My...My name is Ish.” There. That would do to be going on with- if he let his mouth run, who knows what silly nonsense he might end up spouting!
{Oh my...I would not have the patience to RP via snail mail unless I was writing my part of a manuscript. And haha, get me on the right topic and I'll ramble forever.}
"You are welcome... Ish..." he repeated the name after a moment, acknowledging it as much as he was testing the foreign word on his tongue. He watched the little male come over to join him, finding it almost funny how he remembered his manners. He was tiny, like Pica was, but Pica acted...well like a child. Ish acted like he was someone much older just trapped in a little creature's body. "I am Actaeon." he added with a glance toward him.
{It did get galling sometimes, I'd end up stalking my postman!}
Ish spent some time arranging himself into a suitably comfortable position- there was some wriggling involved, which would have embarrassed him if he were not more concerned with the very serious business of getting settled. The fawn looked up, not quite able to see the eyes of his companion through the mask. Actaeon. Not a name like one he had heard before, but then it was not so long ago that the only name he had heard was his own. “Thank you,” he repeated, keen to be courteous, “I'm not very good at all this running around.” Ish wasn't sure why he offered up that information, but felt the need to elaborate further. “I'd much rather find somewhere to get settled and just, watch...” That had sounded a little odd. Bother. He quickly shifted his gaze away, one ear twitching as he grappled around in his mind for something more sensible to say.
Huh. Actaeon stayed quiet while the little male spoke, the occasional flick of an ear was the only sign he was listening. "You'll get the hang of running around, Ish. You should enjoy it while you can. You're only young once. You've got the rest of your life to sit somewhere and watch the world go by." He released a breath, feeling more worn down and tired than he had before he met the fawn. He wasn't sure if it was the sun, or if being around a fawn that felt like mirroring him in action was a wake up call. He wasn't even that old. He had died in his early thirties...he still felt the same, just more worn down. He hoped that would eventually go away, that his life would come back and kick him into gear. "When I was your age, you couldn't keep me still," he added after several moments of silence, "I was off running through the country fighting invisible foes with my friends...we got ourselves into sticky situations too...if my memory hasn't failed me..." he fell silent only to add a heartbeat later, "I don't recommend doing that...getting into trouble."
{n.n thankyou! He's good for me right now, he's a little awkward and nervous just like I am! We're both very nosy about Actaeon, Ish'll have to mind his manners! Hehe. Sorry I'm so late with this, had uninvited guests to entertain last night, le sigh!}
Though he stayed quiet, Ish took a moment to direct a huffy look down at his gangly legs. Although the stag was right, most likely he would get used to them soon, it seemed to be a lot of trouble to go to just so he could run around on his lonesome. Maybe if he was better at talking. It would be easier to approach the others, and then they could play together, having fun like they should... But things being as they were right now, the fawn felt more comfortable in himself now than he had for most of the day, though it was a thought he kept to himself.
He didn't break the silence between them. Instead, a wry, nervous smile twitched up the corners of his mouth when Actaeon spoke of troublemaking. Hah! Like he'd have the guts for that. “I don't think I'm suited for getting myself into bother.” he murmured. It took some time before he elaborated. “I'm not very...” Very what? Brave? Canny? Hm. Now that he thought about it, Ish wasn't sure about the required criteria for being a mischief maker, but whatever those qualities were, he was absolutely certain that he didn't have them. He let out a puff of breath in a snort, lowering his head to rest it against the warm, dry ground. “I don't have much muchness.”
Now he felt foolish. Ish privately thought that at some point in time he must have been handed the short end of the stick when it came to skills in carrying on a conversation, or even using words which made sense. Fact was, he was busy suppressing his natural urge to be incoceivably nosey, which didn't help with his gawky manner. But he'd learned very recently that prying uninvited wasn't looked on favourably by many, and Actaeon had been very kind to let him sit after all. He didn't want to repay that favour with rudeness.
He resisted the temptation to sigh, not wanting to seem ungrateful for the stags thoughts- it wasn't that. It was more that the fawn irritated himself at times. Having fun, running around, all those things he should be doing... it felt more like an obligation, some task he had to pass before being allowed his reward of a chance to settle down and drink in the world.
{ It's all good, I'm not a stickler about reply times. Haha, my characters all end up carrying one or two traits of mine...makes me connect with them a little better. Actaeon doesn't mind questions, he's just picky about answering some of them...or most of them. Depends on how moody he gets. Luckily, he's being a good boy right now.}
The other male suppressed a chuckle, tilting his head to look down at the fawn. No, he didn't look like much of a trouble maker. He just looked like a little innocent fawn.
"That's okay, some are meant to be the booklearners and some are meant to be the brawn," he said, thinking back. He had seen many a booklearner, just scoffed at them and kept playing though. The only book learning he cared about was the stuff that discussed the art of fighting, of leading men and war. "Sometimes I wished I was one when I was in my youth...saved me from getting in heaps of trouble, it would have." he smiled at the memory, though it was hidden behind the mask. He suddenly glanced down at the fawn a thought occuring to him, "Do you have a family?" The little male hadn't talked about a family...or any sort of family. Was he an orphan? Why did all of the fawns that came to the forest seemed to be abandoned upon arrival?
{Phew! I think it's a good thing, it certainly helps me be a bit more convincing if my characters have something in common with me, even if it's something small! I'm glad he's in a good mood, I feel like Ish can be a bit of a pain at times!}
Booklearners. Honestly, Ish wasn't sure he was much up to that either. It seemed to him that if he'd been smart, he'd have a much tighter grip on things, and on his place in the forest. Still, there was plenty of time to learn, he supposed... And it was a comfort to have it confirmed, in a small way, that it was all right to be a little different from the rest of the fawns he had met. That was not what the stag had said, of course, but Ish decided to take it as such, if only to console himself for a moment.
The simple question caught him off guard, and he swung up his head to meet Actaeons eyes through the shadows of his mask. A family? The thought hadn't actually occurred to him. He had woken, on that first day he could remember, alone. It hadn't seemed odd at the time, but now the fawn began to wonder on it. Should he have had a family? Perhaps there was something wrong with him. Ish sighed as yet another thing to worry about dropped itself neatly into his overstuffed brain. It must be nice, he thought, to be one of those folk who didn't feel the need to obsess over every little thing.
“I don't know.” he finally answered. “I never really thought about it, until...” Maybe that's why he hadn't been fitting in. Was there something wrong with him? Is that why he was odd, because he was alone? His ears flicked back, pressing close to his neck as he gathered his limbs close to his body, as if to reassure himself. “Do you have a family?” he asked on impulse, his voice suddenly small. Then his eyes widened. Was he keeping this stag from business with his kin, others with whom he shared a bond? But then surely he would have said. Ish got the impression that his companion wasn't the type to waste his time. He shook his head to clear the troublesome thoughts. It was more of a bother than it was worth, being such a worrywart.
{Awe, Ish is too cute to be a pain. *smooshes him* He's won so many brownie points with Act for just being a quiet little guy.}
Actaeon took the fawn's silence as a chance to study him, noting how he seemed...well concerned. Had he touched a nerve? Though at the response he passed it off as nothing. Perhaps he was just a worrier. He had met plenty of worriers in his life. Most of them annoyed him half to death but were some of the smartest people he had ever met. Do you have a family? The question threw him off guard, he wasn't expecting it to be thrown back at him like that.
"No..." he stated after a moment, "No...I don't have a family. I just woke up here. Like this..." his voice had gone soft, as if the realization had just occured to him.
{n___n We approve of smooshing! I'm glad he's doing well!}
As Actaeon had spoken, he'd seemed almost puzzled, his voice shifting and becoming smaller, like his own had done so many times. A force that Ish, had he known more, would have called instinct, compelled him to reach out without thinking, touching his face just gently against the stags shoulder. He quickly pulled back, embarrassed at his impulsive gesture. Why did you do that? But for once he didn't dwell on it- there were other things on his mind.
The stags response, far from slaking his curiosity, caused more queries to burst into his mind, each clamouring for their chance to jump out of his mouth. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Ish took a long, slow breath, calmly instructing the over-eager part of himself that there would be none of that nonsense, so it would be best to just cut it out right now. Sometimes he felt like getting through the day meant keeping up a running internal argument with himself. Sigh.
When he felt less inclined to start hurling questions left, right and centre, he opened his eyes again, and led with the question he thought most relevant. “Other deer, here, do they have families?” A notion had pushed its way through the bustle in his thoughts. They both seemed to know of the concept of a family, though they each were lacking in one. “Maybe we're all like this.” It seemed a strange thing to just materialise in the world alone, though Ish couldn't pinpoint why it was that he should find it strange. It was the only way he had ever known, after all. So why, if this was the truth, was there something at the back of his mind which clung on to the concept that this was not always the way?
"I don't know how I knew my name..." It was a strange thing to say, but Ish found himself in a strange state of mind. He had known nothing, and then he had opened his eyes and known that he lay on grass, beneath sunlight. He had known without a doubt his own name, and the names of the things he saw around him- how had that come to pass? The fawns brows were knitted over his now troubled eyes. What exactly was going on?
"They can..." he muttered, thinking of the little deer families he had seen, "Some are born here to a deer pair, others are...like you, I guess. Just..here...and they get adopted into a family." It took him a moment realize he had continued to talk, muttering about how he knew his own name. Actaeon had known his too. He knew that with more certainty than he did anything else upon his arrival into the forest, even when when didn't know what was around him. All he had to go by was his memories of his previous life, the memories of his death the freshest, but his name still hung clear of the smoke of the memories in his head. "I'm not sure either...maybe it is the Twins doing...telling us our names so we're not as lost here..."
That seemed, if possible, a little stranger. He wondered if the deer who were born here were like them, knowing their names and the things surrounding them, or if they came into the world brand new and had to learn everything as they went along. Now that the thought was out there, Ish privately thought that it would be an awful bother to pop into the world without even knowing who you were. “I think,” he said, still chewing over the thought as he spoke, “That I prefer it this way. I wouldn't like not to know who I was.” Not that he knew who he was, anyway, but knowing what he should be called seemed to lend him a false sense of awareness.
Your name. It seemed to him like a small piece of information to give, but he'd drawn so much from it. Here he was, Ish. And around him, things he recognised, after a moment at least. That had been enough to be going on with, to keep his mind satiated until it had stumbled onto this particular path of curiosity. No doubt Actaeon was right, and this recall was a part of the magic in the forest. But it was peculiar to have a name, wasn't it, to have a name, to have memories of things, but no actual memory? He knew flowers, but did not actually remember flowers. He recognised them on what felt to him like his first sight. But how?
It was definitely curious, and the little fawn was beginning to get frustrated, pawing at the ground with his forehoof. His mind was leading him round in circles, and he knew most of the questions being stirred up could not have definite answers. “I feel like I should remember something else.” It was not quite a whine, but it was close. Ish was discovering he did not enjoy being flummoxed, especially by himself. “If I have a name, and I know things, then I must... I must have happened before. But I can't have happened before... or I would remember it? Nph!” That little sound of discontent rounded off his feelings about this train of thought nicely. Things had become confusing rather quickly.
Not know who you were? The concept was foreign to him, even scared him a bit. He hadn't thought that someone would show up with only the basic knowledge of their name and what was around them, with no past life to link them to. Yet, Ish had. Pica had. As far as he knew, most did. He didn't know how he would handle having scars and the scarf wrapped around his head with no knowledge of what it was. He didn't know how it had got there, just that it was there when he woke up. He knew who owned it before him, though, which brought some comfort.
Listening to the fawn talk, he became just as lost and as confused as Ish must be feeling. He couldn't follow it. If you happened before, then you were supposed to know of it, right? That's how it worked. That was how it was supposed to work. Would you just be wandering around with deja vu the whole time, if you didn't? He considered that irritating. The stag frowned, giving his head an annoyed shake to get the thoughts away. He wasn't a philosopher. He believed in what existed and what said to exist, very little more. Pondering usually left him with more questions than he could ever answer; it left him with hopes and dreams and 'what if's' that ended up putting the blame back on himself- it was the only way he could put the thoughts to rest.
"Perhaps you will remember it someday," he replied quietly, "Maybe it will just come to you." It was the best he felt he could say, as unhelpful as it was.
Ish sat with a scowl on his face. It wasn't an expression he was used to, or comfortable wearing, but it seemed appropriate for the state of things at the moment. Then suddenly he sighed, his face softening as he perked up his ears once more. There was very little point in getting so worked up about things he could not change. The realisation brought him very little comfort, though acceptance of it was less troublesome than trying to fight against it. When the stag spoke, he smiled despite himself. Maybe there would be something to remember, and if not, well, he'd make his own memories in time.
“Yes. Maybe...” he murmured quietly, bobbing his head in agreement. “I don't know why I got so worked up about it, really. There will be plenty of things to remember once I've done them. Like this.” Perhaps it was not a particularly exhilarating memory, an unsteady conversation which all things considered he wasn't carrying on very well. But Ish found despite his confusion, that he was content. It was good to sit here and not to be stared at for the way he spoke, or his lack of enthusiasm for bounding around endlessly.
It was a curious pair they made- he, with nothing at all to call his past, and the stag whose very manner seemed to suggest more than his lifes share of memories. There it was, his relentless curiosity pushing to the surface again. His amber eyes fixed on the material draped around his companions head, moving almost imperceptibly in the air. I wonder if...? But it would be rude to pry. Their conversation had been somewhat heavy, perhaps he should think of something to lighten things...but the fawn, apparently, was not the light hearted type, and so found nothing at all to fill the space where his unasked question should have gone.
Like this. He didn't know what to think of that other than he had somehow earned himself a spot in this fawn's memories. Not necessarily a grand one, since all they had done was sit there contemplating things that didn't have an answer... at least an answer that they could see.
"That's the thing with memories...they're always being made." he agreed quietly, glancing down at Ish. He noted him gazing up at him, fixed on something beyond his face- the scarf no doubt. He averted his gaze to avoid having to make mention of it. Maybe when he was older to understand...
As Actaeon spoke aloud what he himself had been thinking, Ish found himself smiling again. It must have been a fairly sensible thought, then, if this wiser creature were to agree with it. He was rather pleased with himself, and was about to follow up the thought when... It was an almost imperceptible change, but Ish realised almost instantly that the stag had caught him staring.
He ripped his eyes away so quickly that his head followed their direction, and the fawn only narrowly avoided a mouthful of dirt. He wriggled, uncomfortable and slightly ashamed as he tried to rearrange himself with some dignity. Well, there was no saving it gracefully now, and as the apology was already struggling to burst out of his mouth, he might as well let it. “I'm sorry!" It was almost a bleat, the words tumbling out faster than he meant them to, "I didn't mean to gawp at you.”
Ish was having a great deal of trouble not fidgeting like the guilty child he felt he was. “I didn't mean to offend you, especially not when you've been so kind as to let me bother you...” He hadn't been aware of moving his legs, but the fawn found himself risen into a strange half crouch, like some odd beast about to scuttle away under a rock. He docked his head low, unsure of what to do with himself. Well done, stupid! Why did he have to go and disrupt something so pleasant?
The black and gold male was somewhat slow to catch on, by the time he realized what Ish was apologizing for, he was crouching as if he was expecting him to strike him...or something close to that. Actaeon merely tilted his head at the fawn, waiting for the worst of his fidgeting to subside and to make sure he wasn't going to continue...groveling. That's what it sounded like- groveling. He gritted his teeth to hold back a remark about never cowering at the feet of another. He was a child...there was much he wouldn't understand.
Taking a breath to kill the groveling remark, he replied as patiently and gently as he could, "It's quite alright, Ish. I know I look odd..." he rolled his shoulders in a shrug to emphasize his point. He continued to watch the younger male, though, silently fighting the rant that wanted to come. He would never strike a child, not even if they deserved it. He had struck down and beaten grown men within an inch of their lives, but only if it deemed to be the only way they would get the point. Sometimes men needed their nose to be broken, or the wind knocked out of their lungs to get the point. "Please...continue to sit with me. The only thing you've done is got yourself worked up."
{I'm getting fond of him! In time, he may even grow a pair xD...of antlers. Ahaha. I'm so not hilarious.}
It took the fawn some time to drag his gaze up from the ground to meet the stags shadowed eyes. He could hear some sort of strain in the others voice as he spoke, as if he were controlling his temper. The thought send a shudder through his body, but with some effort he controlled his flighty limbs, managing to straighten to a slightly less pathetic pose. He cocked his head to the side as the remark sunk in. Odd? No, he hadn't thought the stag odd...He'd seen many stranger things in his few short days.
“I don't think you look odd.” It was a lame remark, and he knew it, but for some reason he felt that it needed to be said. Drawing a deep, shaky breath, he sunk back to the ground, taking an impulsive moment to chew at an irritating twitch on his flank. Turning back to the stag with a steadier voice, he continued. “I'm just... curious. I know so little, and it's...” It's what? He couldn't quite find the word he was looking for. “I want to know everything. I feel like if I can...figure everything out, explain it all, then maybe I'll understand?”
It came out like a question, though he hadn't meant it to. Understand what? Why he was here? It was a foolish way to think- how could anyone possibly ever absorb all there was to know? He sighed, more to clear his head than out of any real exasperation. “I've seen other deer, with things. Things I've not seen in the forest, as if they came from somewhere else. Things that I know I recognise even though I've never seen them before. But the knowing would just bring up more questions, I suppose.” Hm. That statement in itself seemed like growth of a sort. Perhaps he did not have to have the answers, only to accept that they could be there.
Emi: Gaaaaahhhhhh. I thought I answered you. fkelafemf. Thank you for the track! I appreciate interest in this guy. I might have him come meet one of your characters. Perhaps your newest little lady.
Please forgive this airhead.
Sylv:
{Hahaha. I love him just the way he is.}
Actaeon nodded, knowing where Ish was coming from. He had wanted to know too, but not everyone and everything, just what he felt was the important stuff, like what the Gods expected of him. He had peppered Diana with questions on the Gods, but not questioned anything about everyone else. Perhaps that was problem. He was observant of them, to some extent, especially if they send some sort of chime or bell off in his head that made him pay attention to them. Yet, he didn't question where they were from. Perhaps, that was because on some deep down level of understanding he knew that it would be only by chance that he would come across someone who was where he was from. Or, he just simply didn't care. They were just a crowd, made to stare and accuse.
They had a herd mentality when together. One attacked, the rest followed. One started the jeer, the rest fell into line. Control it and you had an army, allowed it to roam and you had a mob. It was only when you single them out do you get to see the actual person hiding underneath. He had learned to ignore the crowds and focus on the person- unless the mob functioned as an army, then he made some sort of point to pay attention.
"Understandable," he replied before continuing, "I know where my scarf came from, but I do not know where my mask did. It just appeared...as I did. I just sort of blamed it on forest magic and left it at that. I don't think there's a problem in wanting to know everything though; I've just never wanted to know more than I needed to."
His ears twitched. It was a sensible thing to say, but at this particular moment in time Ish still felt that, despite common sense, he needed to know everything. It was bothersome, really. Though on Actaeons mention of his mask, the fawn perked up- he had experienced this too, if only for a short time. “I think it is the magic. Before, when I was sitting...there was a light, and when it faded, my body had changed. And this strange pond that changed my shape!”
He shuddered at the memory. Ish had not enjoyed being a bird- thankfully it had worn off before he'd started to peck at the ground and squawk. He was glad to have found a new subject, something he could talk about even if he did not have any meaningful information about it. “I think that some of it... it's something to do with the trees. Those mushrooms! But no matter what happens no me, it never stays.”
It was curious. When he'd seen other deer shooting the light at each other, their modifications had stuck, although some of them seemed able to shake it off. But when Ish had received a new pelt, or a strange new face, they had vanished soon after, and the few times he'd tried his own hand at changing another, it seemed to slip off. Perhaps there was something wrong with him. That was a disturbing thought. But for all he knew, he just needed practice. “Maybe if I tried harder...or it just takes time...” He wasn't sure, but the thought that he would eventually be able to do as the other deer was far preferable to thinking he was in some way defective.
"Perhaps it is because children do not know who and what they are yet. The spells don't stay so they're allowed to experiment with the masks and pelts they want?" he supplied his thoughts, though he wasn't too sure about that. He had woken up with the design he had. He had never experimented or changed shapes, nor did he like it when others spell casted on him.
He hadn't thought of that. “That makes sense.” he conceded, bobbing his head in agreement. “It feels strange, though, when something changes me.” Ish flicked his ears absently. Aside from the abhorrent moments in an avian body, he had particularly disliked the feeling of the masks over his face. It felt strange and uncomfortable to the fawn, and he wondered how the stag tolerated it all the time. Perhaps it was something one got used to, though he wasn't sure it would ever be for him. But then, it may have just been a case of finding the right fit.
The male could agree with that, the feeling strange part. "It feels like being dressed up in a costume," he stated quietly, "I don't like costumes...though as another animal altogether..." he trailed off, shaking his head, "that's just...confusing and odd." He didn't like his body changing shape into some other animal; it was just weird...
Ish agreed with that. It was like being bound up in something else, something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And when he'd been changed into a bird...it was like having his limbs twisted and rearranged in a way that was just wrong. Nothing was where it should have been, and the change in perspective had made it hard to think. “I'm glad it's only temporary.” he murmured, wriggling as if to reassure himself that he was still in his nice familiar body, “I can't imagine getting stuck like that with all my parts in the wrong places...” The fawns eyes widened at the thought, and he wondered if there were creatures here who had become stuck in a different shape. Could that even happen? Eugh, that was one thing in the forest that he could do without knowing any more about!
The stag couldn't help but shutter at the thought, "That would be absolutely horrible," he agreed quietly. He couldn't even begin thinking about how awful it would be to be one of the monsters he had killed. A scared, angry, confused and hungry beast turned to killing simply because that was what it was told to do. He supposed he had become one too, in some ways. Though killing had been out of desperation rather than fear. He'd never admit that he was scared. He had been too angry to feel fear.
"I wonder if you become the creature you get trapped into, or if you keep some of your mind," he stated absently.
It was good to know that even Actaeon, more grown and in the fawns mind infinitely braver, could share one of his niggling fears. Despite being distracted by the thoughts of getting stuck as something else running amok in his head, Ish had to admit that the stag made an interesting point. “I...I don't know. When the water changed me, I was still... like me enough to know that it felt wrong. But if you were changed permanently... Perhaps your mind would eventually start to change too.” It was a disturbing notion. No longer being himself. But Ish could not help but draw parallels with his current situation. Had he been another way too, before this form, in a time he could not remember? “Maybe part of you stays on, and the rest changes...You' be you, but not you...” It wasn't the most connected concept, but it was interesting to explore.
@Sylv:
Wow. I could have sworn I answered this.
"Perhaps..." The stag mused at this, "I wonder if this body will be the same too. Will we eventually grow to like the taste of grass instead of the food we remember?" But then, where would it all stop? He frowned behind the mask, wondering. What if those nameless deer were just deer who went feral; mad? What if they were the products of what would happen when you allowed your human mind to be overtaken by the deer one. Was there a deer mind or just instincts?
Personality has mellowed out a lot in his inactivity.
A pathetic bump to try to bring my boy back. He's been dying in my mind. Maybe if I pay more attention to him he'll come back to me.
She'd noticed that she had grown, if only a tiny bit, and was coming over to the gruff of-same's company to show off her height. Not to mention her new little antler stubs. Prancing along proudly, Pica arrives at where she'd first seen Acton, looking around erratically for the of-same. Giving up on trying to find him, she yells out, "Actoooooon. Hey - weren't we gonna find worlds?" A whispered afterthought, "And food.."
Actaeon lifted his head, tilting it toward the voice. Pica. At first alarm flared through him, thinking something was wrong, but he relaxed. World finding...weren't they going to do that? Yeah. Yeah they were. He briefly remembered that conversation. And getting excited at the thought of going home. He wheeled about and picked his way toward the fawn, only to realize as he drew closer that Pica seemed...different. Older? Was she growing? He didn't know what he felt at that thought. She wasn't supposed to grow up.
"Yeah...we were," he answered, stepping around to stop beside her.
There! How could she have missed him? Pica bounces to one side, only slightly started at his sudden appearance in the growth. Eyes lighting up, the fawn begins to prance about excitedly at the thought of food, and the temptations of a world. If it were a bad forest then, well, she'd beat them all up! Working herself up into a frenzy, the fawn bounced up and down, full of energy. "Yepyepyep and so let's gooooo. Please." Didn't forget her manners.
The stag watched her for a moment, almost teasing her impatience by appearing like he didn't care one way or another. "Alright..." he paused for a long moment, this time genuinely stumped, "But...where do we start with this? You said you checked all the ones you could find..." he had to take her word on that, since he had absolutely no idea how to go about with this portal thing, he tilted his head down to look at her "...right?"
Pica skidded to a halt at the apparent indifference displayed by Acton and stared incredulously. "But you were the one going on an' on an' on about the worlds and wantin' to - eh? Where we start? Pssh. Guess askin' the whitestones." She meant that as a joke, but somehow it came off serious.
He studied her from behind the mask for a moment, before shrugging, "Then the Whitestones it is," he decided. He had no other ideas. He took off in the direction of the stones, half glancing back to the see if the fawn would follow him.
Yes. Yesyesyes. They were gonna go to a wooorld. Just thinking about the different foods there could be made her excited. Scampering up alongside the other of-same, Pica had been surprised at his sudden movement but still managed to keep up with a fast prance with Acton, babbling all the way about how the food would be amazing, she'd get to grow even faster and generally making up a world of her own as they covered the distance to the Whitestones.
Actaeon half listened to her, half zoned out as they made their way to the Twins. Food. Food seemed to be an important thing to her. He couldn't really blame her though. After eating grasses and berries for the past...however long he had been trapped here, he had almost forgot what meat tasted like. Now he wanted it again. Chicken, beef, pork...that sort of thing. Rices and bread. Bread, he missed bread more than anything. Bread was delicious. He nodded every now and again, but he wondered how much of what she said would happen. What if they went home? His home? Would he ever want to go back here if he was home again? He didn't know... the thought troubled him. He halted once they came to the Twins, glancing down at the fawn to quietly interrupt her monologue. "Do we pray to them?"
She rambled on for some time, taking Acton's distracted nods as an encouragement to keep going. And keep going she did, until labouring her way up the steep hill of the Whitestones. Imagining herself heroically going onwards to a new world and discovering an amazing forest, Pica grits her teeth and heaves herself up. Ever up, until she was distracted by the of-same, notifying her that she had reached the top, where her previous fatigue seemed to evaporate as she took small little steps towards the Whitestones.
".. Uh. Haven't really gotten past this.." The fawn rears up and stomps as heavily as she could onto one of the flat stones surrounding the strange stones and a faint, odd grinding noise is heard. "..Yeah." She mumbled, rather sheepishly.
The stag raised an eyebrow behind the mask, "That doesn't...sound like praying. In fact..." his ears twitched, "I don't know what that sounds like, to be honest with you." He came around to lower his head and inspect the stone. "Odd..." He didn't remember that happening before. He didn't remember Diana mentioning that. Fear went through him in that moment, thinking he had done something wrong when he prayed to them last time. Maybe you were supposed to hit the stone and then pray to them...or something...even now the fear seemed silly.
Pica looks up worriedly, afraid that she had done something that the other didn't like. "Guh..? Did Pica do something wrong?" Eager to settle his nerves or whatever it was that seemed to be unsettling him, she looks unhappily around and darts over to another stone to stomp on it. Another sound - a much more smoother and bell-like one. Pica's eyes widen.
Actaeon's head shot up, ears flicking forward as he looked in the direction of the fawn. Well...that was a different sound. Much different. Experimentally he placed his own hoof down at the stone Pica had stepped on, listening to the sound it had made before. Did they all make different sounds? Extremely confused, he just looked over at the fawn, clearly at a loss. This type of thing didn't make sense to him at all. "What does it mean?"
He nodded, "I do not. All I
Hello my page.
If this is okay for his CSS,
/flail/ That looks awesome!
YAY and yes, I do have a dA.
Awesome! Sent you a note and
lalala. I think it might
I think it might be working. Other than the disclaimer...I gotta see what's up with that.
Hrrnhrrn. CSS.
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
{Popping in like we talked
It had been a tiring day.
Ish had met another pair of fawns, and spent his time chasing after them, always trailing behind on his unsteady legs. It had been wonderful, but a nice sit down, that was what he really wanted right now. He paused, sniffing at the air, trying to decide on a quiet place to rest his body. The scents of the forest were there, the flowers, sunlight on grass...and something else.
A musky, dry smell, ever so faint and tinged with something metallic. Now that was interesting. Curiosity won out over weariness. He picked up his hooves and inched towards the scent, creeping slowly between the trees. Straining his amber eyes, he could just make out a dark shape ahead. Another deer!
He seemed to be at rest, and Ish stopped in his tracks, cautious. Pressed right up against the trunk of a pine, he peered at the stag, eyes flashing over the gold streaks shot through his rough pelt. Tentatively, reluctant to leave the safety of his tree, Ish wobbled forward, dropping to one knee in an awkward bow. It was polite, after all, and he didn't want to disturb... but he kept his liquid eyes on the dark stag, head tilted to one side.
[Not a problem! I can be slow
Actaeon had been enjoying the sun, allowing the rays to trickle down to his pelt, heating up his neck under the scarf. His ears flicked to the sounds of something scuttling toward him. Pica? He turned his head around to catch a fawn he didn't recognize. Not Pica, but still a fawn. He gave a bow of his own, simply lowering his head to the ground instead of getting up. He was a little thing, the way he was wobbling around, whereas Pica had been bouncing and bounding all over the place.
"Hello there," he murmured, keeping his voice light and friendly through the mask on his face.
{That's alright! I do the
{That's alright! I do the same myself at times, or the gremlins will cut me off when I get my head together to do it!}
Ish kept still as the stag dipped his head, eyes fixed on the colourful fabric draped around his neck. It was an interesting adorment, he thought absently, and the colour matched the flowers of which he was so fond. His ears flicked forward, catching the greeting which drew him back from his wandering train of thought. It took a brief pause before he responded. “H-hello!” he faltered, his voice quavering slightly. Drawing breath, he took a few steps forward, breaking away from his tree. “I was just looking, I mean, I wondered...” Oh, dear. Spit it out! The dark stag had seemed amicable enough when he spoke. He shook his head, scolding himself before continuing. “I was just looking for a quiet place to rest. Would you mind if...?” He left the question hanging, unsure if he was pushing his luck. Had he interrupted?
Actaeon allowed the silence
(Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. Or I'll do this and have short responses.-_-)
{People I've RP'd with tend
A small shudder ran through the fawn as his sentence hung between them. His ears slicked back along his neck, hooves awkwardly shuffling. Then the stag seemed to move a little, inclining his head. Oh! He was inviting Ish to join him!
It took a moment to gather his legs together into some semblance of working order. Ears pricked high, he tottered closer, pausing as he came within a few short steps. “Thank you.” he managed to push out. Slowly, and with more care than was really necessary, he folded his gangly legs under him, sinking to the ground with what he felt was a respectful spacing between them.
He dipped his head again, not wanting to show himself up by gushing like a nervous fool. “My...My name is Ish.” There. That would do to be going on with- if he let his mouth run, who knows what silly nonsense he might end up spouting!
{Oh my...I would not have the
"You are welcome... Ish..." he repeated the name after a moment, acknowledging it as much as he was testing the foreign word on his tongue. He watched the little male come over to join him, finding it almost funny how he remembered his manners. He was tiny, like Pica was, but Pica acted...well like a child. Ish acted like he was someone much older just trapped in a little creature's body. "I am Actaeon." he added with a glance toward him.
Trackies
{It did get galling
{It did get galling sometimes, I'd end up stalking my postman!}
Ish spent some time arranging himself into a suitably comfortable position- there was some wriggling involved, which would have embarrassed him if he were not more concerned with the very serious business of getting settled. The fawn looked up, not quite able to see the eyes of his companion through the mask. Actaeon. Not a name like one he had heard before, but then it was not so long ago that the only name he had heard was his own. “Thank you,” he repeated, keen to be courteous, “I'm not very good at all this running around.” Ish wasn't sure why he offered up that information, but felt the need to elaborate further. “I'd much rather find somewhere to get settled and just, watch...” That had sounded a little odd. Bother. He quickly shifted his gaze away, one ear twitching as he grappled around in his mind for something more sensible to say.
{ xD By the way, you're
Huh. Actaeon stayed quiet while the little male spoke, the occasional flick of an ear was the only sign he was listening. "You'll get the hang of running around, Ish. You should enjoy it while you can. You're only young once. You've got the rest of your life to sit somewhere and watch the world go by." He released a breath, feeling more worn down and tired than he had before he met the fawn. He wasn't sure if it was the sun, or if being around a fawn that felt like mirroring him in action was a wake up call. He wasn't even that old. He had died in his early thirties...he still felt the same, just more worn down. He hoped that would eventually go away, that his life would come back and kick him into gear. "When I was your age, you couldn't keep me still," he added after several moments of silence, "I was off running through the country fighting invisible foes with my friends...we got ourselves into sticky situations too...if my memory hasn't failed me..." he fell silent only to add a heartbeat later, "I don't recommend doing that...getting into trouble."
{n.n thankyou! He's good for
Though he stayed quiet, Ish took a moment to direct a huffy look down at his gangly legs. Although the stag was right, most likely he would get used to them soon, it seemed to be a lot of trouble to go to just so he could run around on his lonesome. Maybe if he was better at talking. It would be easier to approach the others, and then they could play together, having fun like they should... But things being as they were right now, the fawn felt more comfortable in himself now than he had for most of the day, though it was a thought he kept to himself.
He didn't break the silence between them. Instead, a wry, nervous smile twitched up the corners of his mouth when Actaeon spoke of troublemaking. Hah! Like he'd have the guts for that. “I don't think I'm suited for getting myself into bother.” he murmured. It took some time before he elaborated. “I'm not very...” Very what? Brave? Canny? Hm. Now that he thought about it, Ish wasn't sure about the required criteria for being a mischief maker, but whatever those qualities were, he was absolutely certain that he didn't have them. He let out a puff of breath in a snort, lowering his head to rest it against the warm, dry ground. “I don't have much muchness.”
Now he felt foolish. Ish privately thought that at some point in time he must have been handed the short end of the stick when it came to skills in carrying on a conversation, or even using words which made sense. Fact was, he was busy suppressing his natural urge to be incoceivably nosey, which didn't help with his gawky manner. But he'd learned very recently that prying uninvited wasn't looked on favourably by many, and Actaeon had been very kind to let him sit after all. He didn't want to repay that favour with rudeness.
He resisted the temptation to sigh, not wanting to seem ungrateful for the stags thoughts- it wasn't that. It was more that the fawn irritated himself at times. Having fun, running around, all those things he should be doing... it felt more like an obligation, some task he had to pass before being allowed his reward of a chance to settle down and drink in the world.
{ It's all good, I'm not a
The other male suppressed a chuckle, tilting his head to look down at the fawn. No, he didn't look like much of a trouble maker. He just looked like a little innocent fawn.
"That's okay, some are meant to be the booklearners and some are meant to be the brawn," he said, thinking back. He had seen many a booklearner, just scoffed at them and kept playing though. The only book learning he cared about was the stuff that discussed the art of fighting, of leading men and war. "Sometimes I wished I was one when I was in my youth...saved me from getting in heaps of trouble, it would have." he smiled at the memory, though it was hidden behind the mask. He suddenly glanced down at the fawn a thought occuring to him, "Do you have a family?" The little male hadn't talked about a family...or any sort of family. Was he an orphan? Why did all of the fawns that came to the forest seemed to be abandoned upon arrival?
{Phew! I think it's a good
Booklearners. Honestly, Ish wasn't sure he was much up to that either. It seemed to him that if he'd been smart, he'd have a much tighter grip on things, and on his place in the forest. Still, there was plenty of time to learn, he supposed... And it was a comfort to have it confirmed, in a small way, that it was all right to be a little different from the rest of the fawns he had met. That was not what the stag had said, of course, but Ish decided to take it as such, if only to console himself for a moment.
The simple question caught him off guard, and he swung up his head to meet Actaeons eyes through the shadows of his mask. A family? The thought hadn't actually occurred to him. He had woken, on that first day he could remember, alone. It hadn't seemed odd at the time, but now the fawn began to wonder on it. Should he have had a family? Perhaps there was something wrong with him. Ish sighed as yet another thing to worry about dropped itself neatly into his overstuffed brain. It must be nice, he thought, to be one of those folk who didn't feel the need to obsess over every little thing.
“I don't know.” he finally answered. “I never really thought about it, until...” Maybe that's why he hadn't been fitting in. Was there something wrong with him? Is that why he was odd, because he was alone? His ears flicked back, pressing close to his neck as he gathered his limbs close to his body, as if to reassure himself. “Do you have a family?” he asked on impulse, his voice suddenly small. Then his eyes widened. Was he keeping this stag from business with his kin, others with whom he shared a bond? But then surely he would have said. Ish got the impression that his companion wasn't the type to waste his time. He shook his head to clear the troublesome thoughts. It was more of a bother than it was worth, being such a worrywart.
{Awe, Ish is too cute to be a
Actaeon took the fawn's silence as a chance to study him, noting how he seemed...well concerned. Had he touched a nerve? Though at the response he passed it off as nothing. Perhaps he was just a worrier. He had met plenty of worriers in his life. Most of them annoyed him half to death but were some of the smartest people he had ever met.
Do you have a family? The question threw him off guard, he wasn't expecting it to be thrown back at him like that.
"No..." he stated after a moment, "No...I don't have a family. I just woke up here. Like this..." his voice had gone soft, as if the realization had just occured to him.
{n___n We approve of
{n___n We approve of smooshing! I'm glad he's doing well!}
As Actaeon had spoken, he'd seemed almost puzzled, his voice shifting and becoming smaller, like his own had done so many times. A force that Ish, had he known more, would have called instinct, compelled him to reach out without thinking, touching his face just gently against the stags shoulder. He quickly pulled back, embarrassed at his impulsive gesture. Why did you do that? But for once he didn't dwell on it- there were other things on his mind.
The stags response, far from slaking his curiosity, caused more queries to burst into his mind, each clamouring for their chance to jump out of his mouth. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Ish took a long, slow breath, calmly instructing the over-eager part of himself that there would be none of that nonsense, so it would be best to just cut it out right now. Sometimes he felt like getting through the day meant keeping up a running internal argument with himself. Sigh.
When he felt less inclined to start hurling questions left, right and centre, he opened his eyes again, and led with the question he thought most relevant. “Other deer, here, do they have families?” A notion had pushed its way through the bustle in his thoughts. They both seemed to know of the concept of a family, though they each were lacking in one. “Maybe we're all like this.” It seemed a strange thing to just materialise in the world alone, though Ish couldn't pinpoint why it was that he should find it strange. It was the only way he had ever known, after all. So why, if this was the truth, was there something at the back of his mind which clung on to the concept that this was not always the way?
"I don't know how I knew my name..." It was a strange thing to say, but Ish found himself in a strange state of mind. He had known nothing, and then he had opened his eyes and known that he lay on grass, beneath sunlight. He had known without a doubt his own name, and the names of the things he saw around him- how had that come to pass? The fawns brows were knitted over his now troubled eyes. What exactly was going on?
"They can..." he muttered,
That seemed, if possible, a
That seemed, if possible, a little stranger. He wondered if the deer who were born here were like them, knowing their names and the things surrounding them, or if they came into the world brand new and had to learn everything as they went along. Now that the thought was out there, Ish privately thought that it would be an awful bother to pop into the world without even knowing who you were. “I think,” he said, still chewing over the thought as he spoke, “That I prefer it this way. I wouldn't like not to know who I was.” Not that he knew who he was, anyway, but knowing what he should be called seemed to lend him a false sense of awareness.
Your name. It seemed to him like a small piece of information to give, but he'd drawn so much from it. Here he was, Ish. And around him, things he recognised, after a moment at least. That had been enough to be going on with, to keep his mind satiated until it had stumbled onto this particular path of curiosity. No doubt Actaeon was right, and this recall was a part of the magic in the forest. But it was peculiar to have a name, wasn't it, to have a name, to have memories of things, but no actual memory? He knew flowers, but did not actually remember flowers. He recognised them on what felt to him like his first sight. But how?
It was definitely curious, and the little fawn was beginning to get frustrated, pawing at the ground with his forehoof. His mind was leading him round in circles, and he knew most of the questions being stirred up could not have definite answers. “I feel like I should remember something else.” It was not quite a whine, but it was close. Ish was discovering he did not enjoy being flummoxed, especially by himself. “If I have a name, and I know things, then I must... I must have happened before. But I can't have happened before... or I would remember it? Nph!” That little sound of discontent rounded off his feelings about this train of thought nicely. Things had become confusing rather quickly.
Not know who you were? The
Listening to the fawn talk, he became just as lost and as confused as Ish must be feeling. He couldn't follow it. If you happened before, then you were supposed to know of it, right? That's how it worked. That was how it was supposed to work. Would you just be wandering around with deja vu the whole time, if you didn't? He considered that irritating. The stag frowned, giving his head an annoyed shake to get the thoughts away. He wasn't a philosopher. He believed in what existed and what said to exist, very little more. Pondering usually left him with more questions than he could ever answer; it left him with hopes and dreams and 'what if's' that ended up putting the blame back on himself- it was the only way he could put the thoughts to rest.
"Perhaps you will remember it someday," he replied quietly, "Maybe it will just come to you." It was the best he felt he could say, as unhelpful as it was.
Ish sat with a scowl on his
Ish sat with a scowl on his face. It wasn't an expression he was used to, or comfortable wearing, but it seemed appropriate for the state of things at the moment. Then suddenly he sighed, his face softening as he perked up his ears once more. There was very little point in getting so worked up about things he could not change. The realisation brought him very little comfort, though acceptance of it was less troublesome than trying to fight against it. When the stag spoke, he smiled despite himself. Maybe there would be something to remember, and if not, well, he'd make his own memories in time.
“Yes. Maybe...” he murmured quietly, bobbing his head in agreement. “I don't know why I got so worked up about it, really. There will be plenty of things to remember once I've done them. Like this.” Perhaps it was not a particularly exhilarating memory, an unsteady conversation which all things considered he wasn't carrying on very well. But Ish found despite his confusion, that he was content. It was good to sit here and not to be stared at for the way he spoke, or his lack of enthusiasm for bounding around endlessly.
It was a curious pair they made- he, with nothing at all to call his past, and the stag whose very manner seemed to suggest more than his lifes share of memories. There it was, his relentless curiosity pushing to the surface again. His amber eyes fixed on the material draped around his companions head, moving almost imperceptibly in the air. I wonder if...? But it would be rude to pry. Their conversation had been somewhat heavy, perhaps he should think of something to lighten things...but the fawn, apparently, was not the light hearted type, and so found nothing at all to fill the space where his unasked question should have gone.
Like this. He didn't know
"That's the thing with memories...they're always being made." he agreed quietly, glancing down at Ish. He noted him gazing up at him, fixed on something beyond his face- the scarf no doubt. He averted his gaze to avoid having to make mention of it. Maybe when he was older to understand...
As Actaeon spoke aloud what
As Actaeon spoke aloud what he himself had been thinking, Ish found himself smiling again. It must have been a fairly sensible thought, then, if this wiser creature were to agree with it. He was rather pleased with himself, and was about to follow up the thought when... It was an almost imperceptible change, but Ish realised almost instantly that the stag had caught him staring.
He ripped his eyes away so quickly that his head followed their direction, and the fawn only narrowly avoided a mouthful of dirt. He wriggled, uncomfortable and slightly ashamed as he tried to rearrange himself with some dignity. Well, there was no saving it gracefully now, and as the apology was already struggling to burst out of his mouth, he might as well let it. “I'm sorry!" It was almost a bleat, the words tumbling out faster than he meant them to, "I didn't mean to gawp at you.”
Ish was having a great deal of trouble not fidgeting like the guilty child he felt he was. “I didn't mean to offend you, especially not when you've been so kind as to let me bother you...” He hadn't been aware of moving his legs, but the fawn found himself risen into a strange half crouch, like some odd beast about to scuttle away under a rock. He docked his head low, unsure of what to do with himself. Well done, stupid! Why did he have to go and disrupt something so pleasant?
{Awe, Ish you are just too
The black and gold male was somewhat slow to catch on, by the time he realized what Ish was apologizing for, he was crouching as if he was expecting him to strike him...or something close to that. Actaeon merely tilted his head at the fawn, waiting for the worst of his fidgeting to subside and to make sure he wasn't going to continue...groveling. That's what it sounded like- groveling. He gritted his teeth to hold back a remark about never cowering at the feet of another. He was a child...there was much he wouldn't understand.
Taking a breath to kill the groveling remark, he replied as patiently and gently as he could, "It's quite alright, Ish. I know I look odd..." he rolled his shoulders in a shrug to emphasize his point. He continued to watch the younger male, though, silently fighting the rant that wanted to come. He would never strike a child, not even if they deserved it. He had struck down and beaten grown men within an inch of their lives, but only if it deemed to be the only way they would get the point. Sometimes men needed their nose to be broken, or the wind knocked out of their lungs to get the point. "Please...continue to sit with me. The only thing you've done is got yourself worked up."
{I'm getting fond of him! In
{I'm getting fond of him! In time, he may even grow a pair xD...of antlers. Ahaha. I'm so not hilarious.}
It took the fawn some time to drag his gaze up from the ground to meet the stags shadowed eyes. He could hear some sort of strain in the others voice as he spoke, as if he were controlling his temper. The thought send a shudder through his body, but with some effort he controlled his flighty limbs, managing to straighten to a slightly less pathetic pose. He cocked his head to the side as the remark sunk in. Odd? No, he hadn't thought the stag odd...He'd seen many stranger things in his few short days.
“I don't think you look odd.” It was a lame remark, and he knew it, but for some reason he felt that it needed to be said. Drawing a deep, shaky breath, he sunk back to the ground, taking an impulsive moment to chew at an irritating twitch on his flank. Turning back to the stag with a steadier voice, he continued. “I'm just... curious. I know so little, and it's...” It's what? He couldn't quite find the word he was looking for. “I want to know everything. I feel like if I can...figure everything out, explain it all, then maybe I'll understand?”
It came out like a question, though he hadn't meant it to. Understand what? Why he was here? It was a foolish way to think- how could anyone possibly ever absorb all there was to know? He sighed, more to clear his head than out of any real exasperation. “I've seen other deer, with things. Things I've not seen in the forest, as if they came from somewhere else. Things that I know I recognise even though I've never seen them before. But the knowing would just bring up more questions, I suppose.” Hm. That statement in itself seemed like growth of a sort. Perhaps he did not have to have the answers, only to accept that they could be there.
Emi: Gaaaaahhhhhh. I thought
Please forgive this airhead.
Sylv:
{Hahaha. I love him just the way he is.}
Actaeon nodded, knowing where Ish was coming from. He had wanted to know too, but not everyone and everything, just what he felt was the important stuff, like what the Gods expected of him. He had peppered Diana with questions on the Gods, but not questioned anything about everyone else. Perhaps that was problem. He was observant of them, to some extent, especially if they send some sort of chime or bell off in his head that made him pay attention to them. Yet, he didn't question where they were from. Perhaps, that was because on some deep down level of understanding he knew that it would be only by chance that he would come across someone who was where he was from. Or, he just simply didn't care. They were just a crowd, made to stare and accuse.
They had a herd mentality when together. One attacked, the rest followed. One started the jeer, the rest fell into line. Control it and you had an army, allowed it to roam and you had a mob. It was only when you single them out do you get to see the actual person hiding underneath. He had learned to ignore the crowds and focus on the person- unless the mob functioned as an army, then he made some sort of point to pay attention.
"Understandable," he replied before continuing, "I know where my scarf came from, but I do not know where my mask did. It just appeared...as I did. I just sort of blamed it on forest magic and left it at that. I don't think there's a problem in wanting to know everything though; I've just never wanted to know more than I needed to."
His ears twitched. It was a
His ears twitched. It was a sensible thing to say, but at this particular moment in time Ish still felt that, despite common sense, he needed to know everything. It was bothersome, really. Though on Actaeons mention of his mask, the fawn perked up- he had experienced this too, if only for a short time. “I think it is the magic. Before, when I was sitting...there was a light, and when it faded, my body had changed. And this strange pond that changed my shape!”
He shuddered at the memory. Ish had not enjoyed being a bird- thankfully it had worn off before he'd started to peck at the ground and squawk. He was glad to have found a new subject, something he could talk about even if he did not have any meaningful information about it. “I think that some of it... it's something to do with the trees. Those mushrooms! But no matter what happens no me, it never stays.”
It was curious. When he'd seen other deer shooting the light at each other, their modifications had stuck, although some of them seemed able to shake it off. But when Ish had received a new pelt, or a strange new face, they had vanished soon after, and the few times he'd tried his own hand at changing another, it seemed to slip off. Perhaps there was something wrong with him. That was a disturbing thought. But for all he knew, he just needed practice. “Maybe if I tried harder...or it just takes time...” He wasn't sure, but the thought that he would eventually be able to do as the other deer was far preferable to thinking he was in some way defective.
"Perhaps it is because
He hadn't thought of that.
He hadn't thought of that. “That makes sense.” he conceded, bobbing his head in agreement. “It feels strange, though, when something changes me.” Ish flicked his ears absently. Aside from the abhorrent moments in an avian body, he had particularly disliked the feeling of the masks over his face. It felt strange and uncomfortable to the fawn, and he wondered how the stag tolerated it all the time. Perhaps it was something one got used to, though he wasn't sure it would ever be for him. But then, it may have just been a case of finding the right fit.
The male could agree with
{Sorry for shortness today. :I }
{That's okay! Sorry I'm so
Ish agreed with that. It was like being bound up in something else, something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And when he'd been changed into a bird...it was like having his limbs twisted and rearranged in a way that was just wrong. Nothing was where it should have been, and the change in perspective had made it hard to think. “I'm glad it's only temporary.” he murmured, wriggling as if to reassure himself that he was still in his nice familiar body, “I can't imagine getting stuck like that with all my parts in the wrong places...” The fawns eyes widened at the thought, and he wondered if there were creatures here who had become stuck in a different shape. Could that even happen? Eugh, that was one thing in the forest that he could do without knowing any more about!
The stag couldn't help but
"I wonder if you become the creature you get trapped into, or if you keep some of your mind," he stated absently.
It was good to know that even
It was good to know that even Actaeon, more grown and in the fawns mind infinitely braver, could share one of his niggling fears. Despite being distracted by the thoughts of getting stuck as something else running amok in his head, Ish had to admit that the stag made an interesting point. “I...I don't know. When the water changed me, I was still... like me enough to know that it felt wrong. But if you were changed permanently... Perhaps your mind would eventually start to change too.” It was a disturbing notion. No longer being himself. But Ish could not help but draw parallels with his current situation. Had he been another way too, before this form, in a time he could not remember? “Maybe part of you stays on, and the rest changes...You' be you, but not you...” It wasn't the most connected concept, but it was interesting to explore.
@Sylv: Wow. I could have
Wow. I could have sworn I answered this.
"Perhaps..." The stag mused at this, "I wonder if this body will be the same too. Will we eventually grow to like the taste of grass instead of the food we remember?" But then, where would it all stop? He frowned behind the mask, wondering. What if those nameless deer were just deer who went feral; mad? What if they were the products of what would happen when you allowed your human mind to be overtaken by the deer one. Was there a deer mind or just instincts?
Personality has mellowed out a lot in his inactivity.
A pathetic bump to try to bring my boy back. He's been dying in my mind. Maybe if I pay more attention to him he'll come back to me.
RAWR.. She'd noticed that
She'd noticed that she had grown, if only a tiny bit, and was coming over to the gruff of-same's company to show off her height. Not to mention her new little antler stubs. Prancing along proudly, Pica arrives at where she'd first seen Acton, looking around erratically for the of-same. Giving up on trying to find him, she yells out, "Actoooooon. Hey - weren't we gonna find worlds?" A whispered afterthought, "And food.."
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
Actaeon lifted his head,
"Yeah...we were," he answered, stepping around to stop beside her.
There! How could she have
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
The stag watched her for a
Pica skidded to a halt at the
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
He studied her from behind
Yes. Yesyesyes. They were
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
Actaeon half listened to her,
She rambled on for some time,
".. Uh. Haven't really gotten past this.." The fawn rears up and stomps as heavily as she could onto one of the flat stones surrounding the strange stones and a faint, odd grinding noise is heard. "..Yeah." She mumbled, rather sheepishly.
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
The stag raised an eyebrow
Pica looks up worriedly,
"Woah."
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
Actaeon's head shot up, ears