Do you guys ever get that feeling where your extremely bored... and you just want to stay on the computer, but there's like nothing to do, and you just feel really... bleah?
:/
I dunno. Nevermind me. I'm weird.
That's me exactly. I check this site, the forums, dA, and Facebook. Over. And over. And over. And check every small comment made, every new art uploaded, which is why my "inbox" or my "track" page never says "new comment" or whatever for long. I need either new sites to stalk, someone LIKEABOYFRIEND irl to force me off my ass to do stuff, or a hobby that I can actually keep. I sincerely hate it.
Her: Yeah... its getting more like that nowadays. My parents are always yelling at me to get off and clean my room, but of course I do, but I always, ALWAYS want to get back on the computer... its like the one thing I look forward too all the time..... cx
:c What do you usually do when you feel like that? I cant really think of anything....x/
Its also horrible because sometimes I have all this homework... but there is absolutely no drive in me to get it done, even if its a huge assignement due the next day. I procrastinate all the time and doodle on every single thing...lol..... Well thats ADD for you x3
Ahh nevermind me. I dont want to annoy anyone with my whining..
When I feel like I need to get off? Or when I feel like I need to get back on? o:
When I'm on the computer and know I should get off and take a break, I get crabby because I can't make myself do it. Even though every site has been checked five times each I sit and wait for another blog entry and I have to be pulled off the computer by an outside force before I ever get off. Its such a waste of life in my eyes. Most kids are out playing or hanging out with friends, shopping, working, and I sit here. Doing, in my humble and hated opinion, nothing. Not that TEF isn't anything, but it is when you keep refreshing it to find nothing new is there. Its pretty much the same when I'm off, too, though, just slightly rearranged to wanting to waste my life. The internet, for me, is a hell of a lot like a cigarette. I take a drag and hate when its all gone, when all the sites I watch have been checked, so I keep "dragging" on them--on it--until I'm satisfied enough to actually get up and shower, then go to bed. -RANT- /end |DDDDDD Sorry.
No.. thats like EXACTLY how I feel. And then I'm in a bad mood after, its just a depressing feeling, really, snacking on chips, I dont take the time to make a good sandwhich... gah..... I'm only in highschool and I'm already a wreck..... DX
But then... sometimes I wake up and I have this sudden, I dont know, inspiration? And I'll get up, go for a jog, eat a GREAT breakfast, read, do HW, clean my room, and its great. Those days only happen once in a while though.........c;
Oh dear God, how I love those days. |D Where you stub your toe skipping down the stairs and smile to yourself, all, "OHWELL AHAHAH" JUST JFKLDS. <33 ITS LOLLIPOP AND RAINBOW and nothing gets you down on those days. SJFKLA. I'M GOING TO MAKE MYSELF HAVE ONE OF THOSE TOMORROW. 8DDDD
X3 My mood changes drastically too, like if I recieve an email from one of my friends telling me how great i am (Ugh that sound so vain -_-) I get very happy, and my spirit lifts... X3 But yes I love those days... usually happen on a bright morning when nothing is planned, or when something exciting is going to happen... c:
Anzel: :< That must REALLY stink... a lot... :<
My birthday is in two days... yet I feel... even worse....... :<
So you think you have Bipolar disorder? My cousin has that. :c It might explain your moods if you have ups and downs... but then again you probably know much more about it than I do.... c;
And you likely knew more about it than I did, for a long while x3
For the longest time, I only knew it in an off-way. I thought it just caused people to be a bit unstable, getting angry at times (due to the bipolar kid i knew).
Then, about two months ago, I found out that I couldn't be depressed, and a few people said that what I described was like bipolar disorder. I did some research, still wasn't 100% convinced because I didn't experience the more severe symptoms. Then I did more later on, after another case of depression...and found out that bipolar disorder isn't as simple as that. There are multiple types. I read journals written by people with the disorder, and found articles other than Wikipedia and WebMD (which irked me <<; ebil sites)...and slowly began to realize that it really was a possibility. Now, I feel ignorant. How could I have not noticed this before...? It's so obvious. x.x Everything makes sense. Everything, every mood, every feeling, all of these things seem to make sense now, lol...
I just need an official diagnosis and I'm all set x3 I never knew what mania was before. I thought it was when you got impulsive and crazy or something (like a "maniac").
Lul yes thats me. Except replace Wajas with iScribble and I'm all set X3
@Anzel= That must be so relieving... so finally kind of understand, yes? I'm still learning about myself, I have a newly diagnosed learning disorder that doesn't even have a name yet, cool or what? (not cool.) But yeah. You should go ahead and ask your doctor or something, she would probably be really helpful!
But is it that you feel sometimes happy and creative, and then go down into a horrible depressing slump? I read a book on it once c;. But yeah, good luck with everything! We're all with you, Anzel ;3
I went to a psychologist twice, and was referredby him to a nurse practitioner whom I shall meet for the first time in a few weeks.
Well, there are multiple types of bipolar.
If I am bipolar, and I'm pretty certain I am...here's how my moods flow, depending on what ones are in charge:
---
Going up...
Let's say I'm in a hypomanic phase. It is basically like a manic phase, but manic is more extreme and includes addictions and hallucinations and all that jazz. This is what, for the longest time, I believed to be normal. I'd feel hyperactive, happy, talktive, giddy, sweet, amorous (at times), social, and all-around I'd be fun. I might be more creative as well. Where I'll like writing poems, or sketching pictures, or taking screenies. Maybe you'll feel able to concentrate more. You may have more motivation to do things than usual. You might even start some projects, maybe, like a sketch or a story...
Unfortunately, during these times I may get obsessions, or will quite...grandiose, is that the term? I'll feel focused upon something and will be convinced about it, or will simply focus all of spare time dweeling upon it. Or, if grandiose...
Well, if I'm guessing that it is what I think it is...and even if it isn't...I like to call it a stage where I can "see beyond the window pane". During this stage, I feel very, very deep. Very philosophical and full of thoughts. All of my thoughts flow together more gracefully than the text of the most well-written poem. I feel as though I'm beyond, as though I can see and feel something, that I can sense something that no one else can. It makes me feel slightly higher than everything, slightly above everyone and just...grand. Wise. Philosophical and poetic.
Whilst that is grand and dandy, when I'm in an entirely manic stage, where I'm not swinging down to depression...my other mood will be...irritation. A bit of nippiness. I might snap at people, or debate, or fight. Or I'll voice my opinions without fear, head held high with pride. Or maybe, I'll suddenly feel rage towards someone. And I'll hate them, and I'll just...grr...
Or maybe, you'll just get anxious. And twitchy. And you can't stand staying still. Or, you can, but you want to move. You can't concentrate, you just tap your pencil, and doodle really badly. You can't stand writing, it drives you mad to write, it makes you feel more anxious and stressed. You want to scream and run around and just...yeah x.x
...
Going down...
Depression...that is something I've ranted a lot about, for I always knew of this as a mood swing. I simply feel empty. The ache behind my sternum feels like a black whole, at times squeezing my lungs and hurting. Yes, I'll feel physically sad. Smiling is impossible. You can force a smile for a split-second, but your frown will come back, and might bring a tinge of pain and sadness with it. It is an empty loneliness you want out of, you can't stand it, it hurts so much but it hurts so little....you want to cry, you want to die, you want relief from it. But there is none in sight. Nothing can cheer you up. You are stuck in the depression until it lifts. Until your mood rises up. Until then...it consumes you >_<;...
It will zap your energy, and your motivation. You may feel sleepier. You'll want to lie in a pit of emptiness, alone but with someone...just...existing, but not there. You want to sleep everything away.
...
I recently learned of "mixed states", which I know of quite well. So very, very well.
In fact, I've recently been going through these.
You might start out feeling happy. A grin is placed upon your lips that you don't want to get rid of. You can't -imagine- feeling sad. You don't want to. You want to talk, you want to be friendly. You feel so happy.
You won't feel tired, that's for sure. You could have gotten -no- sleep at all, and during this phase, you'll feel wide awake. Literally. It masks any pains from sleeping, you just feel alive. Everything seems more wonderful, more beautiful. You love life and don't want to monitor your moods (but i defy this; i've made a fool of myself because i haven't at times, so i make myself). You want to make everyone laugh. Every joke is 10x funnier. You can concentrate. You're filled with joy. You might randomly get hungry x3 Probably due to the amount of energy you may burn unknowingly. Still, the anxiousness and the irritance is there from time to time. You often catch yourself late when you say something unintentionally rude.
This stage LOVED giving you insomnia. Making you hear bumps in the night and become a slight paranoid, it wants you to not sleep even a bit. It will fill your mind with thoughts run rampant. You won't be able to clear your mind. It will continue to wander on.
Unfortunately, with this comes the triggers. Something, anything, might happen...and a mood swing will be triggered. Within 30 seconds, 1 minute tops, you will -literally- feel your grin fading into a sad frown. You'll feel the ache of sadness within your chest. You might, and most likely will, tear up. Fortunately, it's easy to tell when this is happening. But stopping the tears is hard. And the depression can last from 2 minutes to 2 hours. Then, without even noticing, you will start to feel better, happier. And you'll go back up again.
---
I honestly don't know who I am anymore. All of the moods consumed my being a long time ago, and I can't be sure what the real me is. Right now, I'm...I dunno. Can't tell. Partly depressed, mixed state still. This whole day, I was mainly up, and now I'm feeling a bit down.
I better go to bed before I get too happy, and can't fall asleep. I'm so exhausted. I never fell asleep last night. UGH.
Fortunately, the state gave me energy to last the day, until it gave out a bit after I got home.
Hopefully you don't think I'm a hypochondriac.
I don't think I'd be able to go into this much detail if I was one x.o I dunno. My eyes are too tired, can't think, seeya...
lol absolutly! all the time, you even get to bored with youtube? I do! Sorry that I havn't been on lately Emiva ;__; I sure miss this place *sniff* how have things been? I see your still getting lots of fanarts XD LightBringer
I've got that quite often... Just staying on the computer, hoping for something special to happen. I check everytime like a twenty times. Meanwhile, I got updating my stuff, simply because I'm bored O.o And I thought I had a life... I should get a better job >> (this one stinks)
Ofcourse you could say, do some other stuff. But when it's dark outside, I'm not able to draw or write a big story. For some unknown reason that's really hard for me o.o When It's dark I feel like relaxing.. watching tv, sitting behind the pc.. stuff like that.
And what Anzel mentioned, well, I'm not bipolar or something but I have moodswings now and then when I feel really empty and alone or awfully happy. When I feel empty, I immediately feel like nobody cares, but when I'm in the happy state, I don't care myself. For example, when my boyfriend calls me: When I'm empty, I wanna stay on the phone as long as possible and when I'm happy, I wanna hang up as soon as possible (especially when I wanna do something much more interesting XDD) It's weird... I sound.. selfish.. yeah maybe that's the word o.o'
Ignore the weirdness, lol.
To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
—
To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Anzel: According to a website, many of your symptoms related to Bipolar discorder. I dont think I'm bipolar, but some of the things you drescribe make sense to me... the sudden mood changes based on tiny happenings. And the depression... I experienced that a lot during the summer when An-..... nevermind I really dont like to think about it all.. =_- It gets me down.... a lot. :c
I dunno. I sometimes think some of my moods are real, and some are not. Most are not. Right now, I'm manic. I can't let myself say much. I can't. I CAN'T. x.x I've given myself the slip a few times, decided it would be alright to talk. NO. Every freaking time. I've ticked people off. Or gotten weird looks. Or been ignored. And darn it...it fills me with hatred and empty sadness...I sulk within myself.
Then later, I'm smiling and laughing and feel as though nothing could have possibly been wrong earlier.
Oy vey...my mind is flushed with thoughts. I can't stop thinking. When I do, I end up thinking about thinking even x_x
Meh. I've experienced all moods, so I've grown adept at describing them, maybe that's why you all relate? I dunno.
I just want to be normal. I feel normal right now, and I probably sound it. But if I talk aloud, I screw things up. *sighs*...I hate this...
I think my mood may be fading...Idk...it's...very volatile right now...like spring rain..so unpredictable.
i get that way alot too. and i NEED to clean my room. and i am slowly. i just have a tiny room and no space. but anyways when i get like that i go play a vidoe game, or call the boys. or go play impressive title.
Welcome to my life. c;
8C That must really stink
Jen said it for me. That's
Visit their bios
That's me exactly. I check
Her: Yeah... its getting
:c What do you usually do when you feel like that? I cant really think of anything....x/
Its also horrible because sometimes I have all this homework... but there is absolutely no drive in me to get it done, even if its a huge assignement due the next day. I procrastinate all the time and doodle on every single thing...lol..... Well thats ADD for you x3
Ahh nevermind me. I dont want to annoy anyone with my whining..
When I feel like I need to
When I'm on the computer and know I should get off and take a break, I get crabby because I can't make myself do it. Even though every site has been checked five times each I sit and wait for another blog entry and I have to be pulled off the computer by an outside force before I ever get off. Its such a waste of life in my eyes. Most kids are out playing or hanging out with friends, shopping, working, and I sit here. Doing, in my humble and hated opinion, nothing. Not that TEF isn't anything, but it is when you keep refreshing it to find nothing new is there. Its pretty much the same when I'm off, too, though, just slightly rearranged to wanting to waste my life. The internet, for me, is a hell of a lot like a cigarette. I take a drag and hate when its all gone, when all the sites I watch have been checked, so I keep "dragging" on them--on it--until I'm satisfied enough to actually get up and shower, then go to bed. -RANT- /end |DDDDDD Sorry.
No.. thats like EXACTLY how
But then... sometimes I wake up and I have this sudden, I dont know, inspiration? And I'll get up, go for a jog, eat a GREAT breakfast, read, do HW, clean my room, and its great. Those days only happen once in a while though.........c;
Oh dear God, how I love
I feel like that all of the
=_=
X3 My mood changes
Anzel: :< That must REALLY stink... a lot... :<
My birthday is in two days... yet I feel... even worse....... :<
Meh. I've had my time quite
So you think you have
Yeah, that's what I'm
And you likely knew more about it than I did, for a long while x3
For the longest time, I only knew it in an off-way. I thought it just caused people to be a bit unstable, getting angry at times (due to the bipolar kid i knew).
Then, about two months ago, I found out that I couldn't be depressed, and a few people said that what I described was like bipolar disorder. I did some research, still wasn't 100% convinced because I didn't experience the more severe symptoms. Then I did more later on, after another case of depression...and found out that bipolar disorder isn't as simple as that. There are multiple types. I read journals written by people with the disorder, and found articles other than Wikipedia and WebMD (which irked me <<; ebil sites)...and slowly began to realize that it really was a possibility. Now, I feel ignorant. How could I have not noticed this before...? It's so obvious. x.x Everything makes sense. Everything, every mood, every feeling, all of these things seem to make sense now, lol...
I just need an official diagnosis and I'm all set x3 I never knew what mania was before. I thought it was when you got impulsive and crazy or something (like a "maniac").
I'z a naïve little snapping turtle deer.
"I check this site, the
Holy carp. xD That's exactly what I do, too. Sometimes I'll throw Digg into the mix, though.
There were a few months
Nowadays...my normal path is: Forum -> TEF sites -> Wajas -> MySpace -> dA -> repeat
If they get dull, I might try some games on gamershood, lol...
Lul yes thats me. Except
@Anzel= That must be so relieving... so finally kind of understand, yes? I'm still learning about myself, I have a newly diagnosed learning disorder that doesn't even have a name yet, cool or what? (not cool.) But yeah. You should go ahead and ask your doctor or something, she would probably be really helpful!
But is it that you feel sometimes happy and creative, and then go down into a horrible depressing slump? I read a book on it once c;. But yeah, good luck with everything! We're all with you, Anzel ;3
I went to a psychologist
Well, there are multiple types of bipolar.
If I am bipolar, and I'm pretty certain I am...here's how my moods flow, depending on what ones are in charge:
---
Going up...
Let's say I'm in a hypomanic phase. It is basically like a manic phase, but manic is more extreme and includes addictions and hallucinations and all that jazz. This is what, for the longest time, I believed to be normal. I'd feel hyperactive, happy, talktive, giddy, sweet, amorous (at times), social, and all-around I'd be fun. I might be more creative as well. Where I'll like writing poems, or sketching pictures, or taking screenies. Maybe you'll feel able to concentrate more. You may have more motivation to do things than usual. You might even start some projects, maybe, like a sketch or a story...
Unfortunately, during these times I may get obsessions, or will quite...grandiose, is that the term? I'll feel focused upon something and will be convinced about it, or will simply focus all of spare time dweeling upon it. Or, if grandiose...
Well, if I'm guessing that it is what I think it is...and even if it isn't...I like to call it a stage where I can "see beyond the window pane". During this stage, I feel very, very deep. Very philosophical and full of thoughts. All of my thoughts flow together more gracefully than the text of the most well-written poem. I feel as though I'm beyond, as though I can see and feel something, that I can sense something that no one else can. It makes me feel slightly higher than everything, slightly above everyone and just...grand. Wise. Philosophical and poetic.
Whilst that is grand and dandy, when I'm in an entirely manic stage, where I'm not swinging down to depression...my other mood will be...irritation. A bit of nippiness. I might snap at people, or debate, or fight. Or I'll voice my opinions without fear, head held high with pride. Or maybe, I'll suddenly feel rage towards someone. And I'll hate them, and I'll just...grr...
Or maybe, you'll just get anxious. And twitchy. And you can't stand staying still. Or, you can, but you want to move. You can't concentrate, you just tap your pencil, and doodle really badly. You can't stand writing, it drives you mad to write, it makes you feel more anxious and stressed. You want to scream and run around and just...yeah x.x
...
Going down...
Depression...that is something I've ranted a lot about, for I always knew of this as a mood swing. I simply feel empty. The ache behind my sternum feels like a black whole, at times squeezing my lungs and hurting. Yes, I'll feel physically sad. Smiling is impossible. You can force a smile for a split-second, but your frown will come back, and might bring a tinge of pain and sadness with it. It is an empty loneliness you want out of, you can't stand it, it hurts so much but it hurts so little....you want to cry, you want to die, you want relief from it. But there is none in sight. Nothing can cheer you up. You are stuck in the depression until it lifts. Until your mood rises up. Until then...it consumes you >_<;...
It will zap your energy, and your motivation. You may feel sleepier. You'll want to lie in a pit of emptiness, alone but with someone...just...existing, but not there. You want to sleep everything away.
...
I recently learned of "mixed states", which I know of quite well. So very, very well.
In fact, I've recently been going through these.
You might start out feeling happy. A grin is placed upon your lips that you don't want to get rid of. You can't -imagine- feeling sad. You don't want to. You want to talk, you want to be friendly. You feel so happy.
You won't feel tired, that's for sure. You could have gotten -no- sleep at all, and during this phase, you'll feel wide awake. Literally. It masks any pains from sleeping, you just feel alive. Everything seems more wonderful, more beautiful. You love life and don't want to monitor your moods (but i defy this; i've made a fool of myself because i haven't at times, so i make myself). You want to make everyone laugh. Every joke is 10x funnier. You can concentrate. You're filled with joy. You might randomly get hungry x3 Probably due to the amount of energy you may burn unknowingly. Still, the anxiousness and the irritance is there from time to time. You often catch yourself late when you say something unintentionally rude.
This stage LOVED giving you insomnia. Making you hear bumps in the night and become a slight paranoid, it wants you to not sleep even a bit. It will fill your mind with thoughts run rampant. You won't be able to clear your mind. It will continue to wander on.
Unfortunately, with this comes the triggers. Something, anything, might happen...and a mood swing will be triggered. Within 30 seconds, 1 minute tops, you will -literally- feel your grin fading into a sad frown. You'll feel the ache of sadness within your chest. You might, and most likely will, tear up. Fortunately, it's easy to tell when this is happening. But stopping the tears is hard. And the depression can last from 2 minutes to 2 hours. Then, without even noticing, you will start to feel better, happier. And you'll go back up again.
---
I honestly don't know who I am anymore. All of the moods consumed my being a long time ago, and I can't be sure what the real me is. Right now, I'm...I dunno. Can't tell. Partly depressed, mixed state still. This whole day, I was mainly up, and now I'm feeling a bit down.
I better go to bed before I get too happy, and can't fall asleep. I'm so exhausted. I never fell asleep last night. UGH.
Fortunately, the state gave me energy to last the day, until it gave out a bit after I got home.
Hopefully you don't think I'm a hypochondriac.
I don't think I'd be able to go into this much detail if I was one x.o I dunno. My eyes are too tired, can't think, seeya...
I HEREBYE AGREE WITH
c:
And I do the same things oohohohohoho.
~~~
Bios
Forest FAQ
lol absolutly! all the time,
LightBringer
I've got that quite often...
Ofcourse you could say, do some other stuff. But when it's dark outside, I'm not able to draw or write a big story. For some unknown reason that's really hard for me o.o When It's dark I feel like relaxing.. watching tv, sitting behind the pc.. stuff like that.
And what Anzel mentioned, well, I'm not bipolar or something but I have moodswings now and then when I feel really empty and alone or awfully happy. When I feel empty, I immediately feel like nobody cares, but when I'm in the happy state, I don't care myself. For example, when my boyfriend calls me: When I'm empty, I wanna stay on the phone as long as possible and when I'm happy, I wanna hang up as soon as possible (especially when I wanna do something much more interesting XDD) It's weird... I sound.. selfish.. yeah maybe that's the word o.o'
Ignore the weirdness, lol.
To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Anzel: According to a
librarys closing, g2g
I dunno. I sometimes think
Then later, I'm smiling and laughing and feel as though nothing could have possibly been wrong earlier.
Oy vey...my mind is flushed with thoughts. I can't stop thinking. When I do, I end up thinking about thinking even x_x
Meh. I've experienced all moods, so I've grown adept at describing them, maybe that's why you all relate? I dunno.
I just want to be normal. I feel normal right now, and I probably sound it. But if I talk aloud, I screw things up. *sighs*...I hate this...
I think my mood may be fading...Idk...it's...very volatile right now...like spring rain..so unpredictable.
*runs off before she says too much*
i get that way alot too. and