August 27, 2011 - 2:32am — BluedeerLegend18
I'm sorry, but you are all right. I may be a jerk. I may be a whiny little brat who wants attention. But I just went into a rage. It happens all the time.
I'm not that healthy right now. Heck I still cry over an incident with a bully in the Second grade. But I don't care. I used to call you my friends, my family, and everytime I wanted to talk about the Endless Forest, my father would say, "You will never see them, and they don't love you.". I guess, because that one person said I wanted pity, I got very hurt. So I just... wanted to give you all a dose of your own medicine. I knew deep inside that all I said... everything I did... was not true.
Xemi was right. I pretty much had no sanity. Every little tiny insult would throw me into a stupid whiny tantrum. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm not an adult, and I'm not perfect either. I don't know what to do or what the right choices are, I don't know what is offensive or not, I don't know what is mature or immature. For years I wasn't a nice person and I didn't even realize how horrible I was. I was a whiny, idiotic, stupid, jerky, little brat. And that's what I was today.
Aha, I remember when I was little and I would get sent to my room for throwing a little whiny tantrum, probably over a stupid thing like not getting or toy or something. And now... I still act like that whiny kid, but for reasons other than toys.
But, you all just need to know... how sorry I am, how I wish I never said those things. Some of them, I never meant to be offensive.
Maybe I want attention, maybe I want pity. But the biggest thing I want now is to say how sorry I am. I understand if you don't forgive me. I've broken friendships because of my attitude. Half of the time it was accidental. I know I have broken many friendships that will never be recovered again because of my whiny behavior.
But I always wanted to be a nice person (oh look, tears on the keyboard. You are all free to call me the drama queen). I remember when I first started Kindergarten, and I thought I would make many great friends and be happy. But my brain was small and stupid and no matter how nice I tried to be, I always ended up to be the whiny brat.
I don't know why. If God is real, why did he make me this way? Sometimes I wish I would die not because my life sucks, but to stop people's pain. Ffff I bet if I died dozens of people would have a big disco party singing, "She's gone, she's gone, the brat's finally gone!".
I tried to be like my dad because I think it would fix everything and everything would be good again. But no. You are all strong adults, and I am just a weak child. Children were made to obey adults, and whiny me never realized that until I've crossed the line.
I do love you guys. You are my friends. I have two of the bestest friends in real life that live right down the street and we see each other almost everyday. And I will treat you guys like they are.
I'm sorry, I am. I hope you all understand. What I said to Allie and Honeyfur was not meant to be taken offensive.
I am sorry.
yes. this is an absolutely
This is good. It's a good
It's a good start.
Now, speak through your actions as well, this is a forgiving place.
If you begin to act as you want others to act. I am certain that it will be forgiven.
Humans are strange creatures. They don't like to hold on to bad emotions for long.
More likely than not, almost everyone here is more than willing to stop feeling bad
♥
I was born prematurely. My
But you know what? I know I'm not perfect. But I do the best I can. I try to put myself into others' shoes, and really want to help and understand people. I love learning from others no matter who they are. And people really like that in a person, someone who considers others before they consider themselves.
I understand it may be difficult, but try taking a step back one day and put yourself in someone else's shoes. Understand that everybody is unique and different, and everybody is suffering.
And when we all work together instead of fighting, well...
This kind of happens
I could go on. I know you're probably not in the mood. But I really do care, whether you want to accept it or not.
It is a start, believe when I
I know you can be a pleasant part of the community, I've seen it. I would like to see it more often.
I should also apologize. I get incredibly harsh when I'm upset as well, and I'm much older than you.
I hope you'll be able to turn over a new leaf and begin to enjoy your time on the community again. ♥
Spamming your blog with
Spamming your blog with awesome videos to cheer you all up.
I may be weird,
but guess what?
I don't care! XD
Let me just say this first-
Second, as someone said, this is a very forgiving place. We are your friends. If you really want that forgiveness, we're all willing to give it. I'm not say that we need your heart and soul in exchange, you need only to show through your actions from now on that you do feel like you say. This is an excellent start.
/nuzzle
.
(No subject)
I'm glad to see this. I hope
YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY
Unplugged, Mr.Sanguine, and
I'm somewhat surprised that you apologized. But this usually happens with immature children anyways.
quadraptor-
That... that sounds like it sucks. But even though i was never premature, half-deaf and never had ADHD, but I feel your pain. Everyone has problems that sucks, and they are all different, but the pain is no different. Your awesome Quad, and you are indeed an awesome friend, even if my fathers says you don't care or love me. And that song is awesome.
Xemi-
I sorta understand what you mean. I am sometimes afraid of other adults, even if they won't hurt me. I know, I'm in Middle School and I'm afraid of adults. But it started with my dad. I love him. I always had. But when I was younger, and he was married to my mom and unhappy, he had no emotion. At all. Or at least he never showed it. He never seemed to get happy or sad or joyful. His only emotion was angry. I was always afraid of him and I did even one little small bad thing. But I was young. So when an adult gives me a glare, I shush.
But on the Internet it's a different thing. Adults can't give me that glare. And I admit, I can throw hardcore fits if I wanted to. Like a baby. I hate this behavior but I can't help it. But I can when adults make me. But adults on the Internet can't force me to calm down.
When I was younger I used to view adults as angry, mean monsters. And you're probably thinking, okay what does this have to do with anything? I understand why you would get so upset about this. I annoy adults. I love to pick fights, and this is easier on the Internet because they can't give me that glare that makes me shut up and walk away. I just wish it would all stop.
I'm also very much like you, in a way. Like I said, the tiniest thing will throw me into a rage. Especially in the mood I was in earlier. I could probably be in a death metal band when I grow up because I've spent years screaming until my lungs felt like they would burst.
And, now that I've pretty much made a huge block of text that some probably would rather not read,
Apology accepted.
FD- Awesomeness.
[e] Looks like FireDragon forgot to log out. It's me, Blue. (we are sharing the same computer right now and FD is a very forgetful person, just like me)
I may be weird,
but guess what?
I don't care! XD
Hehe.. so this is your
Things will be different when you're an adult I think.. you'll understand that they're not all big, mean, scary people. Adults can be awful, but so can teenagers, and so can kids. No matter what age group you're in, there will be people who are total jerks, no matter what you do. It's a human thing.. not an age thing. But like I said it'll probably make more sense once you can see that first-hand.
Putting ourselves in other people's shoes can only go so far. Sometimes we need to get into the situation ourselves and experience it ourselves before we can truly understand it.
(No subject)
Here's some videos for you that'll cheer you up
take it easy. people want to
people want to love you and be friends. this was a nice thing to do, so thanks.
♥
Thank you for posting this.
You did well, holding grudges
8D
I will say I wanted to post
Anyways, Honeyfur, it's good to see you back! I don't have MSN (well I have it on my mom's but I can't log into my stupid email). But you have my email. A long time ago I emailed you. Did you ever get it? I've also added you to my contacts, if that is perfectly fine with you.
Angry Grandpa so funny
Heh, yes..the shortest break
I got it C: I'm slow at replying to emails sometimes...I blame procrastination *brick'd*
I'll add you as well <3