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May 23, 2017 - 7:24pm — Marla





































Updates


P Healthy. | M On edge. | E Uneasily calm. | N i am demon devil emo boi

"Fuck me lyf."

11.12.2016 || Been so long since I updated this and in that time soooo much has happened pfff. I think I’m on the brink of losing this character which is upsetting since he's been my main for so long and means a lot to me. He’s become something I’m not happy with and while I think he can become better, it feels like there's little for him to become better for which will just put him in a loop like he was in before. I still want to fill out his bio but it’s hard when he’s constantly changing roj ffs make something easy for me for once. These updates are god awful and are all over the place. Wrote them on my phone about a week ago after writing 5000 other ones beforehand. So excuse the shittyness of them~

Will drop his other tumblr here. Felt weird putting hugely contrasting posts into his normal one pfff.

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Has been staying in Kody and Aurora's world for the past four months or so after several traumatic events that rocked the Raven in a short period of time.

Has been left scarred both physically and mentally by the things that have happened ranging from in forest, to his father's world and in the world he lives in now. Broken down until there was little left of him only to rebuild himself on his own into a completely different person. Hardened in several ways yet more unravelled in others. No longer relies on others or puts any hope into things lasting. Cut the anchors of his life to 'free' himself of any weight that may pull him down. Perhaps a good thing as now the Raven has gained independence and realised he can't cling to others both for his and their own sake. However, is more carefree and laid-back to the point he can be reckless and ruthless in his endeavours. Has obtained extremely skewed morals and gives little care to the wellbeing of others or even himself at times. Happily partakes in dangerous activities or reckless things for the thrill of it. Adamant on doing what he wants whenever he wants, refusing to be stopped or told otherwise. Seems to have retained some self-loathing but it is clear that it has moulded into something that the Incarcerated prizes about himself. Values his willingness to accept his flaws, often making him seem narcissistic or arrogant. Looks down on others just as easily as before and sees himself a grade higher than many whether it be on intelligence, beliefs or the like. Looks out for himself before thinking about anyone else, unwilling to let himself fall down to allow others to stand taller. Selfish but with reason.

Seems to have lost the gloomy air to him. Is certainly living his life more than before but perhaps in a twisted manner. Nevertheless, smiles more even if it looks bored or is fake. Does, on occasion, have vulnerable moments where the reality of everything he lost sets in. Can contain it sometimes but on some days allows himself to break down in order to get it out the way and move on with his life. Perhaps, has retained what he used to be like deep down while using this guise as a protective barrier but for now is more than content with staying like this and leading a pain-free life.

No longer visits the forest like he used to due to a lack of interest. Believing that now he's lost his family, there’s little purpose to drop by. Preferring his human life despite how restrictive it can be in the current world he's in. Not able to use magick in public or fly and needs to conceal things deemed 'abnormal' by humans such as his eyes. Misses being able to use his wings but makes up for it via a key to a world given to him by North. Still likes to go there to vent on occasion despite knowing it lacks the feeling of reality that he'd rather it have. Doesn't miss where he used to live with his family anymore and seems to have stopped caring about it entirely. Realising all the awful things that had happened there, found it a relief after a while that it was rid of. The only regret being the people that dwelled in it and never knowing if they perished or made it out. Despite original contempt for staying where he is now, has embraced it and what it offers him - a fresh start. With the help of Shay, found a new home in a different area. Threw all his old belongings into a cupboard which was locked and never looked at since. Took all the chains off from his neck including portal keys, the pendant Nimh gifted him, his blockade and the chain with Solei's baby tooth - something he'd worn at all times since her passing. Started a new job that allows him to travel - something he currently enjoys. In his spare time has learned to ride a motorcycle and is currently learning to drive. Seems to have built up a small obsession to learning as many skills as he can, keen on being able to do as much as possible. Whether it be for his own fun or just to be 'better' than others, is again, something to be debated. Met new people and seems to be content with a small group of friends he's settled into. Did visit the forest one morning and offered Nimh a visit to where he lives. Since then has welcomed her into his home, treating her as if she were a roommate rather than a visitor. Completely fine with the length of time she has stayed and is grateful for the company it offers. Finds it a way to keep him in check emotionally, not willing to allow himself 'weak' moments around her. Trusts her enough to let her be in the house alone for days when he's away at work or doing other errands. Also made an effort to visit Damien after bumping into him often enough whenever at Kody and Aurora's home as well as the fact the Rust had saved him along with Kody and Aurora when he was captured and tortured. Wanted to see where they stood and if Damien was still bothered by what happened. The main reason however was more to seek advice knowing Damien had been through something similar. Didn't get the advice he wanted but did seem to smooth over some rough edges in their relationship.

Did visit the forest on a couple of occasions - bumping into his mother the first time. Allowed the bitterness over her lack of visits which he was promised to take over and despite keeping a calm exterior, approached with intentions to point out that she seemingly hadn't bothered with him at all. Realised a few things during the tense conversation and in the end somewhat achieved what he wanted to gain. Another visit to the forest saw him bumping into his father. Looked on from the distance at first, noticing the clear change in appearance but knew that it was certainly North. Still held onto some bitterness over what his father done but not enough to avoid him. Decided to test the waters out of his own curiosity and sat down beside him. Gained a small acknowledgement but otherwise quietly sat there. Left shorty after, not feeling much of anything towards both encounters.

Did return weeks later to drop off something for his mother that they agreed on during their conversation. Found the forest coated in snow - a reminder of the season and what was quickly approaching. Made a mental note to himself on a few things he needed to sort out. Spent the rest of his time there frolicking with Nimh before departing. Realised the following morning that he forgot to mention something in the things he dropped off so promptly returned to place the letter with everything else. Noticed Shardul in forest while doing so, reminding him that he never managed to thank him for something he’d been given a while ago. Made his way over and joined the other stag, thanking him before settling down. Moved off later to sit on his own only to leave shortly after when he could feel a wave of negative emotions coming on.

Spared some more visits with Nimh in tow. Greatly enjoyed his time there with her and was overall glad that she chose to come along with him. Albeit, had noticed Umay in the presence of Nikhil. Not surprised in the slightest, having realised long before everything happened that they were extremely close. Swallowed down hurt he felt that, in his opinion, they both got what they finally wanted. A son she wanted and a mother that wasn’t his own. Almost regretted delivering what he had and being honest about what had happened to him but in the end, figured that perhaps it was the right thing to do if she wanted to try and understand him. Has little hope that she'll try to work something out with him despite his request to simply talk face-to-face about their lives and any issues that are in the air. In the end, knows he did try to do something. Found his mood clearing back into a quiet calm, leaving the forest shortly after.

With Christmas quickly approaching, struggling slightly more with the happy festivities that surround him. Finding himself more on edge with little ability to concentrate. Despite originally planning to skip the day and the ones that surround it out by taking his own life, starting to wonder if perhaps there's a better way to go about it. Has come up with an idea along with a back-up in case it doesn't go to plan. Still, can't shake the unease that the holiday season brings him.

Previous entries






Foundation


NAME: Rojan ⛧
ALIAS: Roj, Demon, Ace, Crow
TITLES: Raven, Incarcerated
GENDER: Male ♂
AGE: Adult. Born 5th January 2013
SPECIES: Demonic cervine/liger
SIZE: ⛧
SCENT: Damp grass, firewood and musk
DIET: Cannibalistic, Omnivore.
ORIENTATION: Aromantic Pansexual
STATUS: Single
ZODIAC: Capricorn, Water Dragon
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutral
VOICE: Voice here
VOCALS: Vocals here
REFERENCE: ⛧, By Hraeth, By Calinka
HAUNTS: Birth tree, Father's haunt, Den
SET: Skull mask, butterfly pelt, default antlers (deer face)
Wooden owl mask, butterfly pelt, default antlers (feline face)

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May 23, 2017 - 7:26pm — Marla
Marla's picture

But I must explain to you how

But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness.

No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure.

To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure? On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee
May 23, 2017 - 7:27pm — Marla
Marla's picture

One morning, when Gregor

One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections.

The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His many legs, pitifully thin compared with the size of the rest of him, waved about helplessly as he looked. "What's happened to me? " he thought. It wasn't a dream.

His room, a proper human room although a little too small, lay peacefully between its four familiar walls. A collection of textile samples lay spread out on the table - Samsa was a travelling salesman - and above it there hung a picture that he had recently cut out of an illustrated magazine and housed in a nice, gilded frame. It showed a lady fitted out with a fur hat and fur boa who sat upright, raising a heavy fur muff that covered the whole of her lower arm towards the viewer. Gregor then turned to look out the window at the dull weather. Drops