dez

Recent----------------------------------- Updates ☆ Notes

"Here we go."

Feathers

Name » Nadezdha
Monikers » Dez, Nad, Needle, Wolfmother, Wolfmom.
Identification » ?
Age » Eternally 28
Gender » Female
Orientation » Pansexual
Half » ?
Scent » Piney woods with undertones of patchouli
Size » 21
Species » Witch demon. Mix of deer and canine features with some feathers added in for funsies.
Diet » Nothing and everything.
Reference » COMING SOON
Voice » Maleficent
She's » Demure, Sweet, Loyal, Reserved, Regal, Decisive, Affectionate, Accepting, Voracious, Poised, Elegant, Mannered
But Also » Vicious, Skilled, Quick to Anger, Vengeful, A Holder of Grudges, Malicious, Strong Willed, Dark, Prone to Depression, Possessive, Vindictive, Aggressive.

Nexus

Heartstring
Kalma {H e a r t || H o m e} The calm to her storm. Wielder of half her soul. Her oldest and closest companion. Was the first kindness she experienced in a new place, and returned the favor quickly because at the time she didn't want to owe anyone anything. Found kinship and solace in his repeated company to the point that a friendship formed. Was enthralled and intrigued by the quiet raven and the verbal jabs they'd take at one another. Enjoyed his company a great deal and mourned the loss when he was gone. Over time emotions became restrained, and she forced herself to remain in the mindset of a friend, even after his 'death' and 'rebirth'. Long absences formed and pining followed. Worry, concern. But when they were together it was like nothing had happened, nothing had gone missing. Shared half her soul with in his time of need. Came to her in her own and both pulled each other back from their respective places of no return. Feelings were bared. A pillar, a rock, a source of comfort and at times anxiety. Sole holder of her interests, extremely possessive of. Protector, savior, love.

Children
Asriel {F i r s t || L o v e}Her first love, as it were. The original son, the eldest of all her children. Her pride and her joy. A fierce source of love and affection, trust and kinship. Has been with him through thick and thin and would dive back in if only for the promise of his safety. Adores

Hrafn {B r a v e || H e a r t} Her firstborn son. First born son. Seeing him moving after birth meant more to her than getting pregnant. It meant she hadn't failed. They were alive. She was going to have a chance to be a mother. Has missed a great deal of his development and feels guilty for it. Proud of, protective of, adores. {Vargson}

Andreii {F i e r c e || H e a r t} First born son. Seeing him moving after birth meant more to her than getting pregnant. It meant she hadn't failed. They were alive. She was going to have a chance to be a mother. Like Hrafn, has missed a great deal of his later development and feels immense guilt. But no less proud and accepting of. Loves him dearly. Adored. {Son of Corso}

Yvaine {D e a r || H e a r t} First born daughter. Just when she though she was going to have a brood of boys, Yvaine appeared. Noticed with amusement the fawns wild tuft of hair. Watched her bloom, but was unfortunate to miss her later life development. Regret and guilt like with her other siblings. Pride, joy, loves deeply and dearly. {Daughter of Mhaica}

Kira {S w e e t || H e a r t} Second born daughter. Final born of the litter and the hardest to birth. Struggled intensely getting her out to the point Nadezdha thought she was either going to pass out or the child would perish. Was overwhelmed with relief when the girl came out kicking and screaming. Her shadow. Her sleepstate caused her to miss much of Kira's development; likewise to her siblings; and Nadezdha is deeply sad for this fact, but extremely blessed it doesn't seem to be held against her. Pride, joy, adoration. {Daughter of Thorn.}

Carmella {L i g h t || H e a r t} Has yet to reunite with. Her first daughter, her first child made of herself and Seer. Misses deeply. Heart and soul. Adores and praises on the highest of pedestals. Worries for. {Daughter of Seer.}

Icarus {F i e r c e || H e a r t} Has yet to reunite with. Fears he is lost to her for good, but still holds out hope. {Son of Seer and another}

Shanira {S o f t || H e a r t} Has yet to reunite with. Knows she's out there, but uncertain where. Will always hold out the hope that she and her siblings will see her again one day. {Daughter of Seer and Farren.}

Wards
Clarence Gone, missing. Loved like her own. Worries for.

Kali BABI GRILL HAS RETURNED

Touka Lil fuckface ilu

Pyajibahn Fucker of the little fuckface. Loves him too I guess. Fuck off.

Revered
Haytham Pillar. A close and dear friend. Helped her out of the dark many times, and was a constant support. Distant but still there. Worries and cares for deeply.

†Seer Long gone, long revived, long missed. Once the love of her life, now a distant ache and fondness in her heart. Adores endlessly. Feels unworthy of even a smidgeon of the priestess' attention.

† Khausik Her first infatuation, first love, first relationship. Ended in unknown travesty, and now carries the guilt of his death wherever she goes. Put his body and soul to rest herself. Dull ache and longing. Misses deeply. Would give anything to say goodbye to.

Farren Love lost. A friend, a close connection. Comfort and apprehension all in one. Boy W H Y.

Azalea Once considered a ward, something to protect. Now considers a sister. Misses and loves. Hopes she and her husband are doing well.

Asfaloth Her mentor, her guide in her beginning days. Will always have a tender spot for. Watched over his daughter before Asriel took over in that aspect. Concerned for, misses.

Malikorin A kindred spirit. A healer, a giver. Once harbored feelings for, but they fluttered easily to a deep respect and friendship for when her heart's actual wants came into perspective. Forever indebted and grateful towards.

Iskra An old friend, an old companion. Watched her grow after Asfaloth introduced them. Couldn't have been happier when her dumbass son married her. Good job boyo lmao.

Positive
Kuroi An old friend, an old companion. Married to Azalea but knew him back in the beginning for her. Affection, respect.

Dresden THIS BITCH

Karana ilu boo i kiss yo forehead. A sister. Someone to talk shit with. A drinking buddy.

Ruvel Asriel's biologic father. Respect for. Admiration. But also ey how u doin bro winkwonk. Jk.
im sure there's more im just dumb

New
meh

Neutral
meh

Distant and Gone
Reed

Kyrian

Rin

Peluches

Moira

Jebediah

Morikiah

Cree

Blue

Nika

Peppino

Talullaah

Rhoda

Nita

Kiyohime

Mirai

X

Va'Tiri

Jack

Zash

Shahla

Farron

Negative
and a few here but i don't rlly feel like it.

Insight

Memoirs
One-fourth of a whole being. Once made up a piece of a powerful, otherwordly entity. The primary piece, the humanity that bestowed kindness upon the universe they cared for. They made all things turn, all things grow. All things die. Other god like creatures were made to aid in the ever-growing populace of beings. Not an insurmountable number. Just a trustworthy few. As societies in the universe progressed, disdain towards the All-Mother and the Gods grew. And they were all lenient to the upset, gentle, even. But unrest grew amidst the Gods themselves, and they blamed the All-Mother for the discourse, knowing she had the ability to take the free will that gave the mortals these ideals away. Yet she didn't, because she couldn't stand to see her children become mindless and placid. Likewise she didn't want to pass judgement or harm onto her God children, and so remained reserved and gentle, passively continuing to do as she'd always done; watch and answer prayers, create that which needed creating, and destroying that which was at the end of its time.

A time came when the pressure building exploded and centered on the All-Mother. Her God children turned on her, and she allowed them. They split her in four, and cast each to different universes and planes of existence, never to see each other again. Never to be whole. Always unaware of the origin of their own plight. One was kept, though. One was cursed out of fear of rebellion even though she had no intent of exacting revenge. One; the gentlest and most human part; was forced to suffer, over and over. Live a life of turmoil, only to be ended as the Gods deigned fit, and then recycled into another life. The once pure soul corrupted over time, and she lost sight of who she was in the beginning. Each life begun anew was begun with no memory of the last. Only that this had happened before, and would continue to happen for all time.

The Gods became greedy without the guidance of the All-Mother, and began consuming one another in a quest for power and position. Until one remained, one who despised the Mother so much despite her absence of role in the immortal's feud that transpired in her absence. He wanted her gone, so he sent her to a new dimension. One he could watch her from and be sure her assigned executioner was able to follow. Several millennia had since passed since her original entrapment, and several more followed, her mind becoming more obscured and her soul more despaired. Not only did humans and other mortal creatures give her the worst they had to offer, but so did the soul-hungry. Attracted by the despair and struggling purity.

One life in particular was unlike the rest. Wrought with suffering as it were, it was not her tormenting executioner who ended it. In a desperate attempt to get away from the monster she always saw at the corner of her eye, the degraded being sought refuge with another. Another who had golden eyes and dark hair, and honeyed words. For one night she was treated as a living thing instead of something to be hunted. With that minute change in the chain of her lives, the torment was broken. Her executioner collected her voice and the death being premature sent her soul on to the next life without the chase of her personal tormentor. She woke in a den, surrounded by others and a mother for the first time in her entire existence of restarts. Not as entirely mindless as the others around her, but dumbly content with this new life, unaware that a curse still hung over her.

Life was good for a few weeks, until the den turned into a muddy pit, and then became awash in flood water. She and her siblings were pulled out, though she was left in a panic as more flooding breeched the pack's home. A less than kindly mortal found her while driving home from work, and added her to his collection of breeding dogs.

Being a wolf among dogs bred and collected for sale and fighting was her destined lot in this life. Bred over and over. Pitted against others she had no will to fight and her own children when they became old enough. Then shoved back into a kennel to breed or wallow. Many dogs came and went, even her pups were taken at a few days old. But she always remained. She remained when no one else did. When only a large, crossbred mutt stared from the kennel across from hers. One day, when what would be her last litter was born, the human came again to collect them. But she wasn't having it. She lunged despite her children being deformed or dead. Despite the prolapse. Despite the pain. She wanted to keep these.

Except she wouldn't. She woke up in the basement. A broken jaw mended; wired shut save for the barest of gaps to eat through; and prolapse fixed. She wallowed in that dark place, wasted to bone. She was never bred again. The human stopped coming eventually, and the house started to smell stale. She used claws to pull the wire from her jaw and wobbled up the stairs and through the barely closed door. Outside the same mutt was there, staring. The pair worked on a tunnel he'd begun, and the pair slunk off into the night.

This life met its end long after her companion, when she was senile from infection and malnourishment, and wandered into a mountain road near where she'd spent most of her life. Headlights, screeching, and then nothing. She remembers arms around her, apologizing, trying to keep her alive, but she was so tired.

When she woke next, she could remember that life, and that life alone. She bore her tattered collar and tattered body, only now it was human. She slowly began to learn herself again, and discovered powers she never knew she had. The curse was wearing thin. She was returning to how she once was. Over centuries in this new world she amassed her powers and money, until one day venturing into a world teeming with life and wilderness, and discovered her fur was blue and starry, like a night sky, and she had feathers crowning her head. Her life was no longer plagued as much by the curse, and she was wholly unaware of it. She became a practitioner of dark magic and soul collecting, dealing with the dead and masking herself amidst the living. Her home became a refuge for others, and with a final death and rebirth, the curse was rid from her, body burnt to nothingness and then rebuilt, free of whatever still burdened her from a punishment she didn't deserve.

As it stands currently, she remembers about 80% of her past lives, and is learning more every day.

Magick
As an all powerful being, her magic was endless and unlimited. However, now; though still immensely powerful; has barriers and limits. It is primarly dark magic, shadows manifested into solid shapes, weapons, clothing, or used to shift her form from one to the next. It glamours her to look as she wishes to, and hides her true, worn self from the world. Shows this self only to close friends or in certain circumstances.

Is able to heal others, though at the expense of herself, and while her healing factor is high, she is not allowed to attempt to heal herself. The magic will backfire and worsen her injuries. But luckily, wounds inflicted by others heal fast and fine. Wounds taken from others are inflicted upon herself and remain for a mortal amount of time.

She cannot truly die unless her soul is removed. Then she will become a mindless drone.

Her soul is currently split in twain, the purest parts given to Kalma. Each half will regenerate until it is whole again.

Can be summoned if you have a piece of herself; a key; given by her. A feather for example.

Deals in keys and enchanted items for portals, glamours to hide appearances, and talismans charmed for different effects. Won't really curse anyone, but is capable of deep, powerful curses.

Her magic is deep and old, and if often not able to be restrained by normal means.

She can bend reality, warp it. She can make herself into a terrifying, all consuming beast at will.
Can create others, imbue mortals at the end of their lifespans or with wavering lives with her magic. It doesn't make them mindless, but does connect her to them. Her primary self-made beings are inky black ravens and inky black dogs. Both are featureless except for eyes that mirror her own and their apparent silhouettes.
When her emotions run high, she reverts into a self that is otherwise hard to reach. Powers and emotions amplified, and her voice splits into three distinct tones, all talking at once.

Forms
Will post references when I get them done fite me