Does anyone ever get the feeling that they care more than their friends do?
It’s like your whole world rests with them…you love them, and adore them, and wish to be with them all the time and when you’re not you feel a constant emptiness inside.
Yet despite this, you feel you are nothing ‘more’ than a friend to them. A companion when their life grows dull without one, someone to romp with when their own company, or the company of their other friends does not suffice. Like you’re nothing but a name on a list…like your friends have favorites and you are never one of them.
Yet each of them mean worlds to you. To me.
I curl up beneath the willow and brood about how selfish I am. Why can’t I be satisfied? And then I think, maybe…maybe I care too much. Maybe the latter is what friendship should really be, and I put too much faith in others.
I set myself up for the fall.

Reetno has grown now. Do I imagine the distance I feel from him? Probably. My mind can’t seem to linger on optimism long anymore. But what if I do not? Part of me wishes to be glad. He needs to grow bolder, to make more friends, to find love, and yet I feel each step in one direction takes him further from my own. Selfish, that’s all it is.
Why can I find no satisfaction in the world anymore?
I can think of no cause for these feelings, other than…no, it’s too silly to say, yet…omitting it from this confessional feels wrong. I wish…to feel special somehow, I think. I once felt this way, with Reetno, but it’s fading now. I can’t be content being just another face in the forest…to be overlooked. How horrible I am, I think, for thinking this way. How truly awful…

I miss you Wyvern, and yet I fear your return. How could I keep up with you now? How can I make you smile when I myself struggle to? No, no, I don’t want to mislead you…there are days when I feel happiness. Days I romp and run through the forest like the old Darcy would, dancing with my friends. Then there are these days, when I can not bear the company of a group, or the sight of dance and play, and I seclude myself in the patches of wildflowers, brooding as I watch the sunny dapples dance upon the forest floor like rays of undersea light. I’m drowning, and there’s no surface in sight.

~ Darcy

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Meh...I'm sorry. I needed to get something out, and none of my friends were around to hear my mope so...there's this. I admit, I'm letting my own misery affect poor Darcy, or maybe his misery just fuels my own. I'm not sure. Either way it is what it is, and I don't like it.

Edit: Oh...and I'm sorry to Krypto, Jen, and Emiva for now having their pictures done yet. Please be patient ^^ Life is being a bit loopy for me at the moment.