My Deer's Story

I want to be an author, so I need people to like how I write. Here is a bit about my deer's story. Please tell me what you think - I'm open to critisism!

Erza's life wasn't a great one. His whole herd hated him and even his parents weren't happy with him. No, that's an understatement. His parents loathed him - even more so than the rest of the herd. So the day when Erza was enjoying something HAD to be the day eveything went astray.

It was raining and Erza was rolling around in the long grass. The smell of spring filled his nostrils and, for once in his pitiful life, he was happy. Truly Happy. However, this was shattered the very moment Ouna, his sister, ran up with fear in her eyes. Ouna was a beautiful deer with a dark pelt that shone with the green/blue of a raven. It was complimented really well with her striking violet eyes. but before he could ask what was going on, she blurted out something terrifying.

"Erza! They're gonna exile you! The whole herd is whispering with excitement!" She sank into the grass, crying, "You have to leave! They're coming!" he was speachless. Exile meant torture. All Erza could imagine was the horrible side of his species. Antlers and hooves piercing his hide, bruises appearing all over his pelt and his whole existence being miamed and deformed. There was only one option he had left. He bent to nuzzle his sister - a silent goodbye.

Then he ran.

That's it for now. If i feel like it I will probably continue. Most likely to be about how he came to The Forest or if someone asks me to write something for them I could Smiling