Well if some of you've noticed I have not been writting any poems recently,the only thing I've really been on here for is rping something to pass the time.

The honest truth is I've lost my ambition,not here persay but in my real life.I don't seem to care about much,and when I think about it,it's kinda scary.
It feels that my life my existence has no meaning.I don't know whether it's because I can't dance and I am being denied what I consider runs in my blood.

Or that I am know not busy with dance and have to truly face the loss of my brother.
I don't want to do anything I have school stuff to send in and it's the middle of June.Hell I still have a paper to start and finsh so that I can send in.
But I'm tired ,even if I just woke up from a ten-s of sleeping,I still feel exhausted,so I want to sleep all the time.

I still haven't taken the SAT I know where I wanna go but still,,,,,,,,

As far as dancing goes I'm shooting to go to a dance camp at least one week in the begging of August.
But mom might not let me do it because of school.
See in order to graduate with my class all of my school work has to be sent in by the end of April.
So I won't have alot of free days.


But before all that I hope to fix this empty shell that I feel I am.I don't know how to fix it but I gotta start somewhere.I'm not going counselor ,or anything like that and I don't want to.
I don't want others to fix this problem,because I feel I need to be the one to do it.


There are so many things I'm going to have to do ,to face and all I wanna do is go back to when I was a kid.Sounds foolish I know but times were so much simpler and happier for me back then.

My Grandmother got out of the hospital,she didn't have heart attack,but it was something to do with her heart.

My dad as some of you know has had two heart attacks,the last one he had to have a triple-bipass surgery.And this year he had a high-adle hernie {spelled wrong } and one can imagine that these trips to the hospitals are not cheep,so its hard on both my mom and I.
He still won't exercise,or eat right.It's like a slap in the face when he doesn't even try.

So as you can see I have many reasons why I need to get my but in order.I'm afraid I've only told you apart of what is going on since the other things are rather more complicated to talk about.

I appreciate it to those who actually read all of this it means alot to me.I feel it was good in away to talk about some of the things that way heavily on my mind.
This was just to let you know why I won't be around for awhile,it's not a permant goodbye,but it is a separation.

I need to focus on my life before my opportunities fly by,I also need to heal whats broken,even if I don't know how to yet.

Everysingle communtity memeber on this site is amazing.I'm not goig to single every one of you out but know that this refers to every one.Whether your and writer,sculpter,some one who draws,or maybe the person who comes up with amazing idead you all are wonderful.This communtity has been with me throught alot in the two years that I have been here.And in return I have tried to contribute in what ways I can.

Ya'll have made me laugh,cry,it's like your another family of mine.But its seems for know I need to go away for awhile.

I'll leave you with my quote my TEF family. Reach for the stars and never be afraid to shine,and on that journey to the spotlight take everything in as you go.