I looked around and saw some of your guy's(?) poems and writing, so I thought id post my own? Thoughts?

Kelpie with skin cold as the dead,
Kelpie who fills our hearts with dread.

Little black horse who proffers a ride,
Trots along loch-shore, chases the tide.

Pony who tempts weary passerby,
Would be rider, doomed to die...

Foolish traveler mounts the beast,
Dreadful beast whom awaits a feast.

At touch rider adheres to beast....
Dreadful beast who has his feast...

Panicked rider lets out a wail,
tugs and pulls to no avail.

Kelpie gallops to loch, swimming down to its bed...
Rider now drowned, rider now dead.

Now the devil-horse enjoys his prey,
Awaiting the fool of another day...


Tada! If your wondering, Kelpies are Scottish water spirits who do what is said in the poem. Nasty things...Just a quick poem i scribbled down, and i need constructive critisism!