I.
From Ashes
The first thing she felt when she moved her long, pointy ears around restlessly, was the soft touch of petals that seemed to caress her skin and fur. The scent of early Autumn found its way deep into her nostrils, leaving her in an unprecedented ecstasy. Her eyes were longing to see what her other senses seemed to experience so intensely, but her eyelids felt heavy as lead and seemed to refuse her brain’s command. Carefully she rose her head, causing several dewdrops to fly around and stick to her fur like little diamonds. Slowly her will overpowered her fatigue and the beautiful doe managed to open both her eyes. One was sparkling green like grass in Spring, while the other one was a bright blue like the sky above her head. At first the world seemed a blurry mix of colors, but soon enough sharpness as well as depth returned to her sight, opening up a wonderful world of natural beauty.
The doe rose, slowly but surely, and took a seating position while throwing her head up, her charcoal hair flying around everywhere. The break of dawn left an intense taste on her lips, which reminded her of freshly plucked apples and cinnamon. October had welcomed her friendly in his quiet lair of gold, brown and orange and had possibly given her a second chance at life. Her memories were unclear, but she was sure it wasn’t the first time she had entered this forest. Probably as a fawn, when her eyes had opened themselves for the first time ever to witness the beauty of life. This rebirth felt quite the same, they only difference being that she knew the names of the many things around her. Her memory was a hopeless wreck and somehow she hoped it would stay that way. A cold chill seemed to suddenly grasp her heart, it was the wind of so long ago that had caused the always burning flame of passion inside her heart to choke and die. Shaking her head, she seemed to be wanting to lose these feelings. Memories did not only exist of thoughts, they were also there in the form of emotions. Emotions that were often refused and buried deep inside the heart.
Her long, black hair looked like a fluttering flag in the chilly Autumn wind and contrasted her crimson red fur, which was decorated with many refined, flame-like patterns. Resurrected like a phoenix, the doe stood on her long and elegant legs and forced herself to hold her head high. The pride of withered times was now unstable, but the promise to herself that it would recover kept her strong. Step by step she began her first journey, without knowing her destination or without knowing what this world could offer her. She didn’t even have time to think about her, more importantly she needed to enjoy. Enjoy the tickling grass against her legs, enjoy the running squirrels that seemed to flee from her diamond hooves and enjoy the many birds, which stubbornly kept singing their song, despite the approaching cold season. Autumn had always been a sister of Spring, as both seasons seemed to announce the beginning of something. Spring had always been the beginning of the beginning, the bursting of buds on trees, revealing their beautiful blossoms and the birth of the beautiful thing called life. Autumn was also a beginning, it was the beginning of the end. It was the harbinger of Winter, in which the trees were mercilessly separated from their leaves while the earth recycled them with the help of funguses and mushrooms. Animals seemed to hide from the upcoming cold and sometimes the forest seemed to be covered in an awful silence.
Fall itself had no prelude. Summer seemed to be going on forever and suddenly, without warning, the days of warmth and happiness would be over. Warmth that did not only come from the sun, but also from the many other deer in the forest. The doe believed Summer brought out the best in everyone, even those who said they could identify more with one of the other seasons. She hadn’t known anyone who hated Summer, nobody who crawled away behind the leaves of a weeping willow or hid in the shadow of a massive rock. She wouldn’t want to know such deer, personally they didn’t seemed like great company and would only whine about the negative aspects of life. Because that’s how she witnessed the deer of Winter, who seemed to willingly jump into the cold water, probably because the pain of a thousand stinging needles could make them forget the pain inside their hearts. Fighting pain with pain seemed to be useful, but in the end it was just a waste of time. Physical pain was only temporary and when emotional pain returned it would only hit its victim harder than it did before, causing this way of fighting pain to become a horrible addiction.
The doe sighed heavily, these thoughts seemed to bring her in a depressing state of mind. At the moment she had no use for that. Fall was already pronouncing dark times, so she tried to convince herself that the only light she had, had to come from her own spirit. Also, the ones who weren’t able to create it themselves, were welcome to share in her light of eternal love, the fire of her existence that would burn for eternity. At least, if evil hadn’t been able to extinguish this fire before. Ever since she hadn’t figured out how to ignite it again. Would it be something only time could tell? Or would she need a push in the right direction? Her flame was born from her willpower and her passion, her passion to live. Without passion she wouldn’t exist, she would merely be a shade of her true self. Life and passion shared a two-sided connection. Without life no passion and without passion no life. She would always be aware of those who wanted to fight her passion, others that seemed passive. Even though there was only a slight difference in language, passion and passivity had nothing in common. One was needed to fight the other, an eternal battle between the hedonists and the depressed ones. If it was up to her, those depressed ones would have already departed to the empire of Gods. She wondered if she would be able to socialize with these creatures. This would mean she had to hide a part of herself. A part of her passion should remain hidden until the right moment was there.
Only then the holy fire would burn.
The first introduction to my
I hope you are all willing to answer a question:
What’s your first impression of this character?
The very first things thoughts you had upon having this small piece of her personality revealed to you. Just out of pure curiosity, I really wonder what all of your thoughts and opinions are.
Tracking so I can read it
edit: Nevermind, was a quicker read than I thought.
First off, I like this style of writing, and I think it a good introduction to the character. My impressions of her would be someone preoccupied with the past, knowing it is best to move on but still distracted by things that have happened. I get this impression from the way she does not respond to the description of the forest now in the present, she is constantly reminded of things, though as a reader I don't really understand what is being hinted at. I assume that would be developed later on in future installments.
One thing I would caution against is over describing the physical traits of the character. You seem to be on the edge of over-stating things like hair color (no need to mention how her black hair flows like a flag, in the paragraph before you've already described it as being charcoal). This is fine for an introductory chapter because I understand you want the reader to remember what the character looks like, but just something to keep an eye out for in future chapters.
Very nicely done! I look forward to more.
Thank you Tera! Your comment
Shameless bump. Because I
Tracking for later because