I am crying like a child
Not able to hide behind the mask any longer
I was the daughter my mother once desired
But ever since I was young Ive disappointed her
No in her words she used disgusted
Ever since my brothers death
I feel her regret of giving birth to me
Becoming more pronounced
I am a failure
My father would not go against my mother
He would be on her side on any case
So I have no hope of that what soever
This front I have put on is falling to pieces
Before my very eyes
Once my mom used to hug me with her motherly warmth
But only her cold demeaner remains
If both me and my brother were both in danger
And she could only save one
It would be my brother living now
And me burried six feet under.
But maybe there is an escape
The route my brother took to severe his pain
I have always wondered about the world after this
And maybe I would be better in the next
Instead of burdening others with my existence
If you think this poem is fake
Then by all means pay no head to it
But this ache
I feel in my heart is real
And it will not go away.
Would it shock you that I am crying
For this is not the first time my mother has spoken to me this way.