Anger. Hatred. Sorrow.

Numbness.

Skokey felt absolutely empty. Completely alone. The blood ran cold in his veins, his heart seemed to stop. How could his mother do that to him? How did she think it would be okay?

He was angry at Fulu. But at the same time, he felt sorry for her. She would never know how he feels until she was older. She never knew how careless her mother was. And Skokey didn't feel up to telling her the truth. Not now. Maybe never. She shouldn't go through what he did. Nobody should.

He had forgotten all about Raku and Fenqua. They didn't seem to matter to him anymore. His liking to Fenqua, instead of growing naturally, festered. He was tormented at the thoughts of what she would think. Not only that, he had no desire to break Raku's heart. And what about Fraalch, Frola, Vin? What would they say?

So many questions seemed to flood him, and only more came when he stayed home. He couldn't be in the Playground anymore. Even though there was little company, there were still some who liked to hang around. He just wanted to be alone. Skokey left the Playground and went more Northwest. To a corner of the Birch Forest where nobody went. There was nothing there, so why should they?

He spent months in isolation. His still developing body cried out for food, but he refused to provide. He only drank the water that fell from the sky. Soon he had little strength to even get up. It was almost too much for him. Soon he thought about how he would die of starvation. It didn't concern him too much. He had been laying next to a small blueberry bush and some patches of grass. Once in every few days he'd take a nibble at them, but his attitude made him feel sick. He didn't want to eat.

Soon the spry young stag became a withered, pathetic creature. He look thrice the age he really was. His face was thin and sunken, his eyes barely ever opened for anything. His frame was protruding, the skin drawn back from lack of food to reveal his inner structure. His muscles shrank, his body becoming fatigued by even the shortest distance. The pelt was now fully grown in, it was clearly recognizable. It repulsed him, and he even started biting at himself because of his pelt. Soon there were several minor wounds covering his entirety. His body was dying, but his spirit was already dead.

He felt so useless. Having been rejected by his own mother and to be replaced by another. It hurt him. His father was probably the one who came up with the idea to leave him. He never wanted to meet his father. Who knows how messed up he would be? To meet his father would only make it worse. The feeling of rejection, it tortured him.

He soon contemplated suicide.

***

Raku had spent days looking for Skokey. She was horribly worried about him. Nobody had seen him for a couple months. She checked everywhere she would expect him to be, but to no avail. He was nowhere to be found. One night she even started to cry, thinking that maybe he was dead.

But the next day, she tried in all the places that Skokey wouldn't be in, which would be all the places that were unimportant. The places where nobody went. She practically turned the forest upside-down. She looked in all the places she could see. It took her about a week, but she finally ended up in that area of the Birch Forest.

She scanned the area, leaving no stone unturned. But she finally came upon a figure. It was standing, looking up into the sky in a sunlit area. She came up to the figure. He had smaller antlers, with a Butterfly Pelt, and he looked absolutely ragged. It was Skokey, but she didn't recognize him.

She was almost afraid to talk to him, but she finally asked, "Excuse me, do you happen to know someone named Skokey?"

Skokey lowered his head, "Skokey? I do."

Raku hopped up a little, "Do you know where he is?"

Skokey shook his head, "No, I don't." He looked back up at the sky, "Perhaps he's off somewhere, running about with his friends... Or maybe he's dead, and he's left everything behind."

Raku started to get a little uneasy, "Are you okay?" she asked gingerly.

"Raku, I am not okay. The one you seek, the one named Skokey, is dead. But his body is standing right in front of you." He turned around to show his sunken and worn face.

Raku drew back at the sight of him. His once perky and brightened face turned to dispair and pain. She whispered to herself, "It is you..." She came up to him. Skokey didn't move a muscle, only his eyes followed her. "What happened to you?"

"I've seen the truth, Raku. And now I'm living how I was destined to live." He looked over her. "You've grown."

"Y-yeah..." She held back her tears, and she finally managed to look at him again, "Skokey, you look awful."

"It doesn't matter. Raku, go home. Forget about me. It's for the best."

"How can I forget about you? Look at you! You need help, Skokey.."

"No, I don't need help. I don't need anything."

"You used to be so lively..."

"There's nothing to be lively about. Everything I once cared about is gone."

She came up closer to him, "Skokey, you're not making any sense.. Come on, we need to get you home, now!" She pulled at his ear, but he didn't move.

He shook his head. His dull, hazel eyes pleading, "Go home. Now. Just go."

She stood there for a few moments, then sprinted straight for her home. She soon found it, her father was falling asleep. She came over to him and laid down beside him, silently crying.

Fraalch looked at her, concerned, "Is everything okay? Did you find Skokey?"

Raku sniffed, then thought a moment. After a pause, she said, "No, Papa... I couldn't find him. He's lost somewhere. I don't think he'll ever find his way back..."