Another month passed. Nothing special happened, nothing new. There was news spreading around about the loss of a friend, someone who was a friend to seemingly the entire forest. Even though Skokey didn't know the deer personally, he had seen him a few times. He knew he was very old. He paid his respects, unknowing of who this deer really was, he still had prayers for him and all who knew him.

Skokey's pelt had been growing a little more robust now, the darker brown turning to more of a black. His underbelly was disappearing, and his face was turning a little more peach every day. Through many studies of his reflection, he realized that he had a Butterfly Pelt growing in. Once he realized this, he seemed very pleased. After all, that was his desired pelt, and he didn't even have to work for it.

He was growing a lot bigger. He had grown at least six inches more than he was when he was a fawn. His voice was changing, embarrassingly. He had cracked it several times when talking to a friend or even a stranger, which was never any fun for him. Because of his cracking voice, he became a little more socially awkward. He always tried to stay on the outer edges of groups, staying as silent as possible. Fenqua always laughed whenever his voice cracked, which made him a bit irritated. Fenqua had been growing about as fast as Skokey, but she was still a little smaller than him.

Fenqua had been his friend for a long time, but he started to feel a little differently about her. He seemed to have a little crush on her, which Fraalch said was normal. He hoped it would pass pretty soon and they could still be friends without anything messing it up. She was friendly, kind, very open to him, but he didn't know how she felt about him. It tortured him a little, he didn't want anything bad to happen. Usually he just shrugged it off, though, and still had fun.

Strangely enough, Raku was not to far from going into adolescence. She had learned a lot during her childhood, she was practically a teenager already. And Raku had a crush on Skokey. But her crush wasn't just a passing fancy like Skokey's. It was a full blown infatuation. Every time she went to visit him, she would get nervous and giggley. Skokey never really minded it, he knew all too well that she liked him. He figured that it would pass in time.

***

It was a nice crisp afternoon. A fresh rainfall had passed overnight, making the grass slippery, and the morning misty. The sun shone brightly over the pond, making it almost blinding to any deer that wanted to play in the water. Skokey decided to take a little detour from his developing pelt and visit the Crying Idol. He always liked the idea of getting a red pelt, it looked very silly. He trotted over to the idol, discovering the usual poppies and picking them up in his small antlers. He was just about to go through the idol in whatever way you do it, when he was called.

A doe came trotting up to him. She was much older than he, and bore the Butterfly Pelt. Atop her head were the Deer of the Dead antlers, and a Magpie Mask hid her face. Her pictogram wasn't familiar to Skokey, so he politely asked who she was.

The doe looked down and paused. After a moment, she looked him in the eyes and said, "Skokey... I'm your mother."

Skokey was frozen in shock. How did she find him? And why would she want to make herself known? After all this time... Skokey shook his head, "How can I trust you? I don't know who you are, how do I know you're not just an imposter?" The doe brushed off her mask to reveal her face. Her eyes were sunken and wrinkled, in the same shade of hazel as Skokey's. He remembered, "Wait.. You're that doe. You're the doe that ran away from me and Dad... I remember you, that's when I learned about magic."

"Yes. I was that doe. I saw you, and I couldn't let you know who I was, so I ran away."

"You couldn't let me know? Why didn't you let me know, back then I didn't know you left me!"

"Skokey please, I don't want you to think like that. I had no choice, otherwise I would have grown too attached to you. There was no other way. And besides, you were found by that nice old stag."

"I thought that 'nice old stag' was my real father until before he died. You could at least have waited for someone instead of leaving me there!"

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry won't be enough, Mother. It's too late for sorry." Skokey paced a little, his mother staying silent, but then he sighed, facing away from her. "So...where is he?" He turned around, the look in his eyes completely changed. "Where is my father?"

"I don't know. He left me when he found out I was pregnant. I haven't seen him since."

Skokey's knees trembled. He didn't know what to do. He started sobbing, trying to hold back his tears. But his mother came up to him and nuzzled him, hugging him to her with her head. By then he was already crying. They stood there for minutes, tears silently rolling down the doe's face and Skokey rubbing against her, sobbing.

He finally calmed down enough to speak. "Why didn't you just keep me? Why did you leave me?"

"Because I couldn't.. My own father was dying, and I didn't have time to take care of a fawn. You must understand Skokey, my heart was torn in two when I left you. I didn't want to, but I had no choice."

Skokey nodded, still rubbing against her, "I do... And I don't hate you. Not anymore. I..." He paused and took a look behind her.

There was a little fawn who already had the Great Argus Pelt sitting close to the river, looking at them both. The fawns face looked exactly like his mother's.

He backed away from her, switching his cowardly gaze between the fawn and his mother. She looked behind her shoulder to look at the fawn. He started to stammer, "But..but I thought you.. you said..."

His mother shook her head, "Skokey, don't be afraid."

"But... I thought you said my father left you! When you were pregnant with me!"

"No... Not with you. With her." She looked down, ashamed. "I was going to tell you..."

Skokey stomped his hoof on the ground, "So what? You leave me but you decide to keep her? What made her so special?!"

"Skokey, please try to understand-"

"Shut up! I already understand! I understand perfectly well!" He was shaking, tears flowing once more, "I don't need this! I lived practically all my life without you, and I can still pull it off! What I said before means nothing now. Now that I've seen what you think of me. My father, my caregiver, might have been a little more forgiving, but I'm different." He went over to a nearby tree and leaned against it, still sobbing. His mother tried to say something, but she couldn't think. Her heart was being broken all over again. After a few moments, Skokey whispered, "What's her name?"

With a lump in her throat, she whispered back, "Fulu..."

The fawn had been watching, but she had been crouching behind the poppies when she saw Skokey lose his temper. She was trembling, and shook even more when Skokey came over to her. She looked at him. His eyes were full of pain, and his expression almost made her cry aswell.

He bent his head down to meet her at eye level. "So, you're Fulu, right?" She nodded. Skokey gave a very weak smile, "I'm your big brother, Skokey. You know where the Playground is?" She nodded again. "Well, if anything bad happens, come over there, and try to find me. I'll be there for you, because that's what big brothers do." She smiled sweetly at him.

Skokey raised his head to look at his mother. "I told her to find me if anything bad happens. Given the situation, I'll expect her sometime in my life. I just hope you don't screw up this time."

With that, he left the two of them. His mother had started crying because of her failiure to earn forgiveness. Fulu didn't understand anything that happened, but she tried to comfort the old doe, wanting her to stop crying.

Skokey went to the slab, but he didn't sleep under it. Another rainfall had come that night. He sat on top of the rock supporting one end of the slab. He stayed up there, in the pouring rain, and wept loudly.


(my respects for Walter's retirement, in my own way )