Indeed, I'm insane enough to try and get my characters to answer over 1000 various questions that I either just make up, or find randomly on the interwebz. It looks skimpy now, but someday I hope to have over 1000 questions answered here! (Hence the name, hurrr...) I hope you enjoy!

Turkey

Bartleby

Jergens

Debit and Credit

Keep in mind that there are many questions that Turkey and the crows won't be able to answer, just because they don't have human forms

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If you were a tree (or animal) what kind of tree (animal) would you be?
Um... Why can't I just be me? :3
If I were a tree... Do you by any chance have a drug problem?
I guess I'd be a rat, y'know? It's easy for them to get food and stuff
Stoop bein' a fyuel and ask gud questiens!

What is your favorite color?
Ooh! I like brown, that's qhat I am!
I'm more partial to red myself...
Does it really matter, man?
Wor Master is white! W' like white, den!

You are invited to a large cocktail party at a country club. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already over half full of people. How do they react to you when you enter the room?
Hm, depends on what people you happen to be talking about. They people where I live don't like me much.
Pssh, I wouldn't even be invited in the first place...

Why are manhole covers round?
Because people like circles more than squares
What the Hell are you talking about?


What is your favorite drink?
Hm, I'm more of a wine drinker myself.
Whatever I find, really

What is the last book you read?
I was reading "The Plague Dogs" not too long ago. Wonderful book by Richard Adams.
...

If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?
A commoner, I've always wanted to experience poor life
Someone hot and rich.

How would you explain a database in three sentences to your eight-year-old nephew?
I don't even have siblings...
Pfft, Like I would want to even TALK to my nephew

If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want?
A respectable leadership role
Just a job would be nice...

If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
Just my name would be nice... Not my full name though! Just Bartleby...
"The Jergens Way" Oh yes, indeedy

If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time?
Gosh... I never thought of that... *Depressed*
Try to convince the people in my town that I'm not worth to hate
Get a nice, hearty laste meal.
*Just bob their heads up and down*

If you were a type of food, what type of food would you be?
A flower!
What kind of question is that?
A steak... mmm... steak...
Woold w' really want to be maggots and worms?

If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money?
Invest it into something
Spend it all in one day!

If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have?
I don't eat dressing with my salads. It's disgusting...
I don't even like salads...

What kind of people do you dislike?
Dislike? Why would anyone 'dis'like another? Why not just 'like'?
I try not to dislike too many people.
Close-minded bastards.
W' hate all 'they'!

What makes you angry?
Mhm... I get kinda angry when Master chases away all the friends I meet...
Stalkers. *Glares at Jergens*
A lot of things make me angry... I tend to try and compose myself though
If wor Master geets hurt, W' geet very angry!

How many close friends do you have?
Hmm... I'm still not very good at counting...
Not many
Do I really have to count that creepy old lady?
...

In a small room you have a refridgerator, if you left the door of the 'fridge open would the temp in the room fall or would the temp in the 'fridge rise? Why?
The refridgerator's temperature would rise, of course
My head kinda hurts...

Favorite kind of music?
Classical
Whatever I hear when I'm out, really. Not like I have a radio

Favorite songs?
Hmm... It usually isn't good to have a preference
Oh! That one fireflies song, I like that
Crows doont sing, ye fyuel!

Favorite season?
I like the one where the leaves fall down... Theres a lot of brown in that season...
Spring
As long as it isn't winter and I'm not freezing my ass off, I'm good
Spring! Spring!

Favorite holiday (and why)?
What is 'holiday'? Is that a 'they' thing?
I... I do enjoy Christmas... Even if I'm not religious... It just makes me happy.
Never really celebrated any of them, to be honest
W' shall ave' a Master Bartleby day!

Least favorite holiday (and why)?
*Sniffles* Please tell me what it is... ;0;
Oh Turkey, don't cry...
Um, who the hell is he, anyway?
Non of your buisness!

Feelings about holidays in general?
*Sobbing*
It's okay... the silly interviewer dosen't mean it...
I'm getting really creeped out now 0-o
Haddaway and shut yer bluidy trap!

Feelings about New Year’s?
New... Year's?
I feel quite sad, actually
It's a sign that I've gotten older!
*Sigh* Another year goon...

Feelings about Valentine’s Day?
Val...innnn... tiine's?
Another day for buisness...
A great day to into some hot guy's house!
*Bored*

Feelings about St. Patrick’s Day?
*Moping*
Uhh... I hate green
Who the hell celebrates that, anyway?
*Sleeping*

Feelings about Easter?
Is that a 'they'?! Sounds like a name...
I also hate eggs
I tend to go to those stupid 'hunts' they have for the kiddies and steal the candy-filled ones. Hey, free food, right?
*Snoring*

Feelings about Halloween?
Another 'they'?
Pretty stupid, if you ask me
More opportunities for free food. I just say that I'm dressed as a homeless man and BAM, free candy. Some of them yell at me for being too old though... douches...
*STILL asleep*

Feelings about Thanksgiving?
Ahh! My head hurts.. so many words...
Turkey, stop thinking about it, you'll only hurt yourself
Foooooooood.... =F
*Wakes up*

Feelings about Christmas?
Ooh! Master, didn't you mention something like-
Shush, I don't feel like explaining it to you now...
*Stares at Turkey* Bartleby, did we have a baby? I don't remember that ever happening.
Why are w' ere'?

Favorite movies?
Hmm?
Um, what is a movie? *From hundreds of years ago*
Same here... Seriously, what the hell is it?
Joost a stupid 'they' thing, moor'in likely...

Favorite T.V. shows:
T....V?
An acronym? What does it stand for?
'Take Violence'? 'Tank Van'?
Fyuelish 'they' things again!

Favorite wild animal:
Animal? Ooh! That's what I am, right! I love me!
Hm, I like rabbits, myself...
*Points to Bartleby* Gaaaaaay... ;3
The mighty crows!

Favorite domestic animal:
Is that what you just asked? I told you, I like me! : D
I love my dogs... and my crows...
Well, I hate dogs, but I'll always have my personal Bartleby... *Get bitch-smacked*
W' agree wit the wee Turkey, didn't ya joost ask somethin' like that?

If I had a pet, it would be:
Pet? Is that a flower? I'd like a flower...
Another dog would be nice...
How the hell would I feed it?
W' doont really pay mooch attention to flowers...


My favorite alcoholic beverage is:
Alchol...*Ears are covered*
*Covering ears* =/
Why waste myself more than I already am?
...


My favorite non-alcoholic beverage is:
Beverage? Like a drink? Of water?
Oh God, why did we agree to this?
Patience Bartleby, remember yer blood pressure...
*Chatting amoungst themselves*


My favorite meal is:
Berries! I love berries!
Cool things, like ice cream
Whatever is in front of me
Oh, soom wee maggots end worms and whutnot


My least favorite meal is:
Humm... I never liked that weird stuff that comes out of the trees...
Hot or spicy things *Shudder*
Food is food, and I'll eat it
W' doont eat mooch else...

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Will be Updated Tomorrow

CURRENT QUESTION COUNT: 40/1000