August 5, 2008 - 8:56am — Kanaf
Hello everyone... I realize that I have been silent lately. And so, I would like to share my thoughts with everyone I have encountered during this crisis. It seems to be nearly over. I will start with my friends, and then to myself.
Darcy. I... I honestly don't know what to think right now... The last I've heard from you is from your confession. And I'm afraid of what you will say after our argument. It seems we were not meant for each other, as all hopes of winning you back have faded. I realized this as we so stubbornly contradicted each other. You made me feel like a fool, and called me blind. At least... that is how I took it. You would not accept any apology from me and told me to blame it on you. In all honesty, I cannot. I can't blame any of this on anyone, not even myself. I don't know who to blame it on. But what I can do... is tell you that I will not be your enemy. I refuse to hate you no matter how much you plead for it. Did I hate Skokey for rejecting and hating my mother? Of course not... How can I hate you? Everyone makes mistakes, no matter how big or small they are. I hope you realize this someday... so we can be friends again...
Wyvern. I am happy to say that we have made peace with each other. This whole misunderstanding has made me terrified of you. I was afraid you would hate me for stealing the one you liked. But as I approached you, I became a little more eased, knowing that you felt the same as I. And when you turned to me, and treated me as a friend, my doubts were gone. It takes true strength to befriend the one who helped cause all this. I hope that some day we can meet, and play as if none of this ever happened. I hope some day, we will learn to get along, so that we may call each other... friends.
Atiq. I could never find the words to express how grateful I am. You stuck by me even in my darkest hour. You followed me and comforted me, and stood by while I wept. Even when I was convinced I wanted to be alone, you still stood by. You prodded me to overcome my fear and to approach Darcy, even though he always ran. I cannot thank you enough for your kindness. I can't imagine how lucky I am to befriend you. And for that, I hope some day this ugliness will be forgotten, so that all of us can run and jump like we used to.
Kumiko. Even though you weren't there as often as Atiq, I still cannot thank you enough for being there. You gave me the advice and comfort that only a doe could give. You shared my pain as if it were happening to you. You even sat by me when I couldn't bare to walk. You have great patience and understanding. Again, I count myself lucky to befriend a doe such as yourself. I look forward to seeing you once again, like we used to...
Reetno. *sigh* I wish I knew where you went... I am sorry for all the pain this has caused you. I wish you could know how much we all miss you. You'll be happy to know most of this is now over, I'm sure. Maybe once you come back, we can all laugh and play again. I do miss you... Skokey misses you, everyone you know misses you. And I'm sure Wyvern would like to see you now that you're all grown up. I hope you return soon...
Zilant. Your introduction was a little late, wasn't it? I found it strange that after my brother comforted your sister, you came to comfort me. You came when I felt my worst. You stayed with me, you comforted me, you cheered me up. You saw me under that mask of mine, and heard my sorrowful calls... You told me that I shouldn't hide my face under such a sad mask. I must thank you, for making me realize that this will all come to an end soon. And... I... I hope to see you again...
...
As for me... I've been feeling numb. But ever since Skokey told me about Wyvern and Darcy dancing the other day, I knew it was over. My heart did break, but I guess I never truly felt it. I cannot feel the pain anymore, however. It seems that the love between Darcy and I is only a blur to me. For that, I guess I should be grateful. If I did fully remember that love, the pain would be so much sharper.
I guess I'm happy that Darcy and Wyvern are finally figuring things out. It makes it a little easier to know that his own pain is finally dulling. Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe memories of me are still there, making the wounds still fresh. I do hope that isn't the case...
Strangely enough... While my heart was broken... I found that someone was mending it... Slowly but surely, my heart has been coming back. Or maybe he had only picked up the pieces, but not started to repair it. Either way, I feel so much better after meeting him. I'm sure you all know who it is by now... I'm terrible at keeping secrets. But it seems that Skokey, being the loving brother he is, set things straight between us. We both know that we shouldn't rush into it... I mean, why should we? After what happened the first time I did that...
I guess I should be lucky to have a brother like Skokey. It makes me feel happier knowing that he cares for me. Even after finding out that... Mother kept me instead of him... I feel terrible, why would she do that? Why replace such a wonderful stag like him with me?... A silly little bird... Oh well, let's not get into that. Skokey's led a hard life, but, unlike me, he's very happy with it. I count him lucky that he found love so easily...
So... I guess that's all I wanted to say... I look forward to seeing everyone again sometime soon. Maybe then, I'll be a little happier, so you don't have to feel so bad...
Best regards,
Fulu
Aww (^^) Well at least she's
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Feed it! Feed it NOW!!
I don't know who it is by
yeah, what did I miss? o_O
I haven't gone insane......I've gone awesome.