Faith and nothing.

It's been a while, again, hasn't it? I don't seem to scribe as much as I used to. I normally would ramble about my battles and the madness that drives them, but it grows redundant. In this time that I've been silent, so much has occurred, and much of it I will not even mention, for the sake of protection for others. Hnn... Since when though, have I begun to concern myself over other deer's well being? It used to be, that I cared for a select few, which dwindled from my nomad herd and children, to the ghost of Laghodessa and myself... but now, I am torn and bewildered by the sufferings of particular others, mostly being such as Aegle, Amary, Kaoori, The Priest, Bastilion, Lady Bones, Talor, Baal, Virgil, Apparanza, The Fawn...

Yet with all these who've clutched my compassion, I find myself in a more isolated mind state. Further frustration forms in the fact that much of those I call companion, will fight.

Hnn... How soft I must be becoming with old age. To be concerned over the wounds they leave each other. Is this the doing of those twins?

But now I'm rambling.

So where did my last story leave off again? Before the rut, I believe.

I put fourth a small amount of effort in the event, having meerly rested threw the first few days, then sparring and resting in the last days. I pushed Virgil in a spar, to a point just before defeat, then bowed and let him become the victor. What law is there, that one friend can't help another look better for a few does, after all? But to show I have not grown weak, I followed my spar with Virgil, with another stag, and defeated him.

Trust me Virgil, it makes you look better to them.

Hnn...
Within the last days of the rut, on the day when fog eclipsed the daylight, I did wind up in an interesting grouping with The Priest, Apparanza, Amary, Kaoori, and Talor. I'm sure Bastilion would have been proud, as The Priest led us to speak with the twins, and we confronted Wesker... but did not fight.

.... I seem to recall blacking out at some point in the chaos.
When I came to, those I lingered with were flashing confused and concerned, perhaps frightened stares.
... They say I had changed into... what did they name it... 'Spill'?
And I responded to Wesker's taunts and cries for a bloodbath, with laughter and mad rambling, chasing and bouncing at his hooves.

Wouldn't I remember that?

Hnn... I don't know what to make of it.

But Kaoori left to stand with Wesker. The rest actively stood between Wesker, Priest, and me. They prevented bloodshed, I suppose.

Moving on to more recent days, I've learned that Aegle and The Priest have begun to come to more peaceful terms, though Kaoori had been injured. She chose to send her affections to Wesker, leaving her in a dark view from other deer... but I respect her choice.

Even if I don't agree.
....

I've begun an attempt at simply avoiding conflict. I've been trying... to reform, you could say… I’ve been turning away from violence to an extent, and instead aiming toward peace. I've also stopped eating fawns and stags, though I'll still snag birds and squirrels. Even in Wesker's most recent advances, I've opted to either ignore him or walk away. I watch him and Kaoori from a distance, and head away if spotted. I won't fight him around her... I respect her too much... It's only for her sake that I don't lower my antler.

I've been noticing Bastilion and Amary becoming closer. I can't help but grin at this... I try to slip them advice every now and then, and it seems to be working somewhat.

There is so much more, but there is too much to recall and write at once.
I'll leave only one further notation, and leave the rest to the private memory...

The fawns to be born from this rut, will be safe from me. I don't know how to put it into words, but I'd sooner play a more fatherly or similar role for at least one in specific, and for the rest.

Hehe... I just can't say which, yet. But that is only to keep it safe from potential harm.

....

Lagho... thanks for understanding.

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Yes much out of practice fail.
Short too...
Just writing to show I can. XD