Through all the changes of the seasons and the time we live by, we cling to what has been lost and what may be gained. We live by what is lost and found, by the time we have found something it is already lost.

I cling to ancient memories that never existed in our world as we know it, but something inside me wont let go. Every fiber of my miserable existance screams at me that I am wrong, that it is wrong, that it has always been wrong. Despite all my efforts I cling to this ancient memory that I often forget. Then I turn around and find it again and want it even more as the memory is fading.

How can I want what I never had except in brief moments in the hysteria of my mind?