Once there was a child of light, but I made her end so dark.

I question now as I questioned then, what brought me down so far? Wandering below silvered boughs, through a forest of eternal mist the question plays again and again.

Why?

What misery did I hold that wounded so greatly for me to feel the need to take such a young and perfect life? What compelled me to step between her and the future she could have had? These questions bring about darker memories than I want to ponder, but I should.

I should be forced to think through the dark deeds of my past. Should be forced to replay them time and time again til the ends of the very existence of reality itself.

But I am tired.

Tired of these thoughts, tired of the pain, tired of holding such twisted thoughts.

Her memory deserves so much more.

I was forgiven once. But can I ever forgive myself?

I think not. I know not. There is no forgiveness, no end to this suffering, no end to the misery I must endure!

But... She deserves so much more.

They all do, this land does, this world...

All deserve so much better from me. I want to give you that, my precious light. I want only joy, only happiness to fill me, the world about me, at the thought of you.

I am far too old to destroy your memory my perfect rose. Too soon I feel that I shall stand before you again, and it will not be in this land of endless mist.Too soon will I be before you, awaiting your absolute judgment.

I fear it and yet...

No. Soon enough I will be by your side in more than dark thoughts. More than memory.

I feel the pains of reality setting in.

My time is slowing even as my end races to meet me.

Soon enough...

Soon enough.