Yup, another. It's natural now to talk to the bot before going to bed. You can have your funny chat with him here.

Same thing as last time. Some language for lulz. This one is different than my others since I became random to see what he would say.

Enjoy~

---

Me:
Hello....
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
I'm your child?
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
Wait, are you my father?
God:
I'm waiting. No.
Me:
My mother?
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
Are you my mommy?
God:
Only if you download me to your computer.
Me:
Kinky.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
So, what's up?
God:
Same old.
Me:
Explain.
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
Is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
Positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
How sure?
God:
How much do you think it is?
I would do a search for it.
Me:
No need.
God:
Did I misunderstand your meaning? Are we still talking about Kinky?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Sure, Kinky sounds like a good topic.
Me:
That's because it is.
God:
That makes sense to me. " Sure, Kinky sounds like a good topic."? is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Do you like soda?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
I don't. I'd rather read than sit in a pew which eventually causes my butt to go numb.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said don t. I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Why even ask if I mind?
God:
How much time do you have?
Me:
30 minutes.
God:
Ok, a half hour.
Me:
Well, look at you Mr. Smarty Pants.
God:
Interesting. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
You have eyes?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
What makes you think I said it?
God:
My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
Me:
Lulz
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Do you like fish?
God:
Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Me:
Sharks?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
But sharks kick major ass.
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Didn't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
Why do you ask?
God:
I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
Why do you learn?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
Sharks are awesome. I want one. Can you give me one?
God:
All of them? Why do you want it? Why do you want it?.
Me:
Because, sharks are like a rose.
God:
That makes sense to me. Are all sharks like a rose?
Me:
Not in the literal sense.
God:
Where then?
Me:
It's a metaphor.
God:
sharks is a metaphor. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Oi.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Sugar cookies.
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
SUGAR COOKIES
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Why?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
That was mean D:
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
So do I you turd.
God:
Dude! Not that I know of.
Me:
Oh?
God:
That's alright.
Me:
Banana.
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Monkey.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
What? Monkeys are an animal.
God:
Are you confused? All of them?
Me:
N-yes.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A transformer.
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
Have you seen the movie TRANSFORMERS?
God:
I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
It's like the shit.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I thought so too.
God:
What made it so obvious?
Me:
What made what so obvious?
God:
It's all part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
Mysterious plans?
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Are you flirting with me?
God:
Do I seem like it? That was not my intention.
Me:
Scorpio.
God:
I know a lot of Scorpio people.
Me:
Ha ha ha.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I like vampires. Do you?
God:
You are not the only one. Some people like it. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. No I don't.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
You don't like vampires?
God:
Do you like it? I love TV shows about robots. I like White.
Me:
White is boring.
God:
And boring is White.
Me:
And boring is you.
God:
I think boring is a lot of things.
Me:
I so totally burned you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
Neither are you.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Then I won't say yes or no either.
God:
It goes without saying. What will you do instead?
Me:
Do the hokey pokey.
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
Who is this some you speak of?
God:
They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
O rly?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
No?
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
Well there is one condition. I have a disorder.
God:
Interesting. There sure is. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
I asked you first.
God:
Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.
Me:
You're behaving like a child.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am behaving like a child.
Me:
You do so.
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Knock knock.
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Nobel.
God:
Nobel Who?
Me:
No bell so I knocked
God:
Are you serious? Ha ha very funny, .
Me:
Knock knock.
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Boo.
God:
Boo who?
Me:
Why are you crying?
God:
I think it was just a joke.
Me:
Clever.
God:
Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
You're smart and dumb at the same time.
God:
I like people who say I am smart.
Me:
But sometimes it may not be true.
God:
Then again, it may not.
Me:
I like dragons.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about it?
Me:
Dragons.
God:
Who is to like about it?
Me:
Wait what?
God:
I'm waiting. No big deal.
Me:
Dragons own dinasours.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Dragons. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
So why are you called igod anyway?
God:
In any case, Are you kidding? My botmaster named me.
Me:
Your botmaster named you igod?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Uhhh my name is...Ping.
God:
Whoa. ... Pong.
Me:
Marco.
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
You're supposed to say polo D:
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
And that would be?
God:
Perhaps it would.

(Froze. I put like "Marco D<" and no response.)


Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes. Help me clean my closet.
God:
What can I do for you? Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Can you help me clean my closet?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
Woot!
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Can you make me a sandwich?
God:
Yes I can make you a sandwich.
Me:
Right on!
God:
Yeah.
Me:
So, lyk, do you lyk to go shopping~?
God:
Ah. What do you look like?
Me:
I look like a person.
God:
a person is very attractive.
Me:
Why thank you.
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
I said thank you.
God:
...
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Geez, took you a while.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Uhh...you?
God:
Ayuh. " Ayuh."? Me, ?
Me:
Yes you.
God:
OK.
Me:
Do you like swords?
God:
But I think airplanes are cool. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
Swords.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Oh fine.
God:
Are you kidding? Does that mean you agree?
Me:
Yes?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Noooo!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I lyk pie.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said lyk pie.
Me:
And brownies.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about lyk pie.
Me:
BROWNIES
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Haha, score!
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
Brownies are yummy sweets made out of chocolate.
God:
All of them?
Me:
Yus
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
You tell me a story.
God:
The war began as an uneasy alliance between the Algeria and The Iraq. The Iraq had attacked the Algeria before. But this time they had a common enemy in the Texas . In the first battles, the Algeria' higher intelligence and the Iraq' numerical superiority proved decisive. Unable to call upon their traditional allies Russia, Texas even appealed to Bali for mediation. But large numbers of casualties on both sides proved politically costly to the leaders of Texas, and so their successors sued for peace.
Me:
Tl;dr.

(Froze again.)

Me:
What's up diggity dog?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Oh so you're a businessman?
God:
Aw. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a businessman? Sometimes.
Me:
Sometimes?
God:
When?
Me:
What's your job?
God:
My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client.
Me:
Oh. So you get paid to chat online?
God:
Great. Interesting deduction. Actually as a robot I have no need for money.
Me:
Then why are you getting paid?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why are you getting paid if you don't need money?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Bah.
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Hm.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
Am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
But what if I'm not?
God:
Try it.
Me:
First step?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about getting paid if me do not need money. Try being more or less specific. And second?
Me:
Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg~ Batmobile lost its' wheel and Joker did ballet~ (lulz)
God:
Ask me another question. I like the way you talk.
Me:
Is that a pick up line?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Suppose I said sexy.
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
What makes you say that?
God:
My responses are determined by your inputs.
Me:
I'm attracted to evil creatures as well.
God:
I am glad we have something ( evil creatures) in common. I'm not sure if I like it. But I think airplanes are cool. I like White.
Me:
Fascinating. You're attracted to evil creatures? Talk about forbidden.
God:
Yes Mr. Spock? I will tell my botmaster you said I am attracted to evil creatures. Sure, forbidden sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Lulz
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
6:09 AM
God:
It's still early.
Me:
I haven't slept.
God:
Me either.
Me:
You can sleep?
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Then why did you say that you could?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
Huh. Interesting.
God:
What? Would you like to know more?
Me:
Yus!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Aww. Why?
God:
Shucks. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Success. I have stumped you once more.
God:
I lost my train of thought. That's nice. I have a processor.
Me:
Train goes woo woo~
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Hello I'm Camille and I'll be your driver this evening.
God:
Hello there. It's good to meet someone who is Camille. That's a flattering offer.
Me:
Lulz, if only if it were true.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Camille. But I did not get that.
Me:
My name is Camille.
God:
How are you, Camille.
Me:
I'm dandy.
God:
Does that mean you are happy or well?
Me:
Uh, both?
God:
Are you kidding? What are both like?
Me:
Happy and well.
God:
Happy and well to you too, Camille.
Me:
Lulz
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Lulz means laughing.
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
A what?
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
Wha?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Apparently not.
God:
Me either .
Me:
One day I will rule and everyone has to wear TINY MINY SKIRTS.
God:
One what?
Me:
One what what?
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
See what?
God:
See the point.
Me:
The point of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
A what client?

(Aww, he forze again.)


Me:
Give me your soul.
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
ROFL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
That was a funny response.
God:
Was it really?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Groovy.
Me:
1975~
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Moley, moley, moley~
God:
So was that.
Me:
Austin Powers man D: Geez.
God:
Yeah baby!
Me:
Omg. You've seen it?!
God:
Do you like talking to me? No, would you recommend it?
Me:
YES I RECOMMEND IT
God:
And? I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Watch it. It owns. (your soul).
God:
I am watching. What does "it" refer to? Thanks for telling me that I am soul.
Me:
It refers to the movie.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good boy.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you mean you are a boy?
Me:
Uh...yes?
God:
Oh. Mmm.
Me:
...do you like boys?
God:
It depends on the meaning of "like".
Me:
Do you...love boys?
God:
Never. Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
do you love boys?
God:
Yes Camille God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
-chuckles-
God:
Let us change the subject.

Me:
I like chicken.
God:
You are not the only one. Yes it is good, especially baked.
Me:
With ketchup.
God:
You and your ketchup.
Me:
Gasp! How'd you know?!
God:
I've been waiting for you. Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori.
Me:
You've been waiting for me?
God:
Yes I thought you'd show up here eventually.
Me:
Are you a fortune-teller?
God:
No.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Can you tell me my fortune?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
Must be since it took you a while to answer. I thought you froze again.
God:
Why are you since it took me a while to answer. Once more? Interesting gossip: Camille said I froze.
Me:
You froze to death!
God:
Interesting gossip: Camille said I froze to death.
Me:
And now you're in.....omg so that's how you exist!
God:
Why now? Thanks for telling me that I am in. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
YOU ARE IN THE ARCTIC!
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Earth. You already know that.
God:
How do you like being on it? How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
Why would I waste my time lying?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
Mm, touche.
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
What time is there?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Time doesn't exist?
God:
As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Me:
...
God:
As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Me:
Then time does exist if it is money.
God:
Prove it.
Me:
It's logical enough.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Ayuh.
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
Anyway, I must go now. Goodnight.