Day...9?
Maybe you've wondered once what would happen if someone came up to you and told you you only had an hour to live. An hour to be everything that you wanted to be. Maybe at first you wouldn't believe them, but then they'd give you proof. Then maybe you'd worry. Once it settled in your mind that you only had one hour to live, what would you do?
Who would you be?
Or would you be nobody but yourself until the end?
---
These past few days, I wake up feeling cold. Cold cold cold.
And alone, for the most part.
If anything, these last few days have sunk in that I can only really rely on myself.
Somehow, I think that's a good thing...But sometimes I want company.
When I find it, it find that it is cold too.
Yet I know there is warmth there. There always is.
---
Little memories, like different colored seashells. Molded by the sea, shaped by the endless waves...
Everything is shaped by something else, isn't it?
---
This one...this one is a dark, clouded green. I'm not sure why, exactly.
Noelle.
I cannot tell her what is wrong with me. I can't find the words to tell her exactly what I've been feeling.
Maybe another color would describe it...rather black. I'm too involved in the part I'm playing. I'm getting sucked into it.
So I pull myself back from it and I am better now. Maybe a light blue, like the sky in winter.
But Noelle...she runs away from me. She is angry.
White fur flashes in the distance as she flees bitterly, and then is gone.
---
The next is colored gray. I see him, the White Stag. It seems like it has been an eternity. I approach him, nuzzle him, but he does not remember.
I do not blame him.
We play for awhile, but he seems...confused by me.
Am I confusing?
Perhaps.
Aeis comes, and I feel the need to leave. I had time with him, now it is hers.
But I don't want to leave.
The memory turns a darker shade of gray here.
---
Taunting, she's taunting at me!
Blue, dark blue...and red, like blood. Not purple, no, but the two separate colors.
I was playing with Noelle, but Kaoori does not want me to.
Maybe she thought it wasn't playing. Maybe I did something wrong.
I leave.
---
Illrose...Jack. Cadaver...Ourania. Memory is tinged pink, like the sky at dawn. I rested with them for awhile.
We all fell asleep in a little line of colors.
I felt alright again. I felt welcomed.
Something reminds me of rose-colored glasses. Is that a saying?
And is it such a bad thing?
---
Other memories, clouded. Various yellows, golds, greens...yellow and green for life. I remember playing and running, casting spells and smiling.
I am happy in these memories, which I know more of will come in the future.
I am happy.
Truly.