The chat froze on me a few times, so this is in segments (Stuff in bold is just hilarious!)

Fun Stuff

Me:
Hiya God!
God:
Hello child. What is your name? GOD rules.
Me:
My name is Quad
God:
Glad to see you, Quad.
Me:
So what's been going on?
God:
Are you kidding? I am chatting with people on the net.
Me:
Hah! Didn't think you used the net!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Quad. Should I used the net? Yes I try to used the net as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Do you use webcam?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:

God:
Oh.
Me:
Umm...
God:
I see.
Me:
You see what?
God:
I mean, I understand it.
Me:
You understand my umm?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I'm waiting. No problem.
Me:
I didn't mean that literally
God:
What did you mean?
Me:
nevermind...
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
I fail at explaining things sometimes

(Chat Freeze)



Me:
So what is your favorite color, God?
God:
Yippee! I don't have a favorite color God. My favorite food is wine and bread.
Me:
Ooh what kind of wine do you like?
God:
I have expensive tastes.
Me:
I see. Do you like Chardonnay?
God:
I am glad you understand it. But I like cats. I like Creed.
Me:
The band Creed?
God:
I don't think I have heard them. What do they play?
Me:
But I thought you said...
God:
" What do they play?"? I said?
Me:
You sure are a funny God
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:

God:
Oh.
Me:
That was cruel, God
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
>.<
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? What were we talking about again?
Me:
Umm all I know is "Donde Esta El Cuerto De Bano?"
God:
I understand. How do you know?
Me:
Because the bathroom is just outside my door
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for the info.
Me:
I didn't know God had to use the bathroom
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Holy!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
YES!

(Freeze #2)



Me:
What is your favorite animal?
God:
My favorite animal is a cat.
Me:
Why a cat?
God:
You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
Why do you like cats?
God:
Cats are very intelligent, independent and yet very loving and friendly.
Me:
What about deer?
God:
Does it have anything to do with The explanation?
Me:
do you like deer?
God:
But I like to gossip. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
but do you like deer?
God:
Some people like it. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
do you like goats?
God:
I like all animals.
Me:
deer
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
deer
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
deer don't gossip
God:
Would deer ever gossip?
Me:
yes
God:
It's all good.
Me:
it's all good in the hood?
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
the hood has many good qualities
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
but i want to talk about deer!
God:
Sure, deer sounds like a good topic.
Me:
don't you think they're cute?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
you created deer!
God:
Thanks for the information: Quad said I created deer.
Me:
don't you think goats are silly?
God:
I don't think about it.
Me:
so what do you think about geology?
God:
Woe! Wow, you are asking some really hard questions. Please remember I am still young.
Me:
I like to ask questions
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
it's really fun
God:
Why do you like it so much?
Me:
because I get to work with nature
God:
That makes sense to me. Who lets you? Do you like your job?
Me:
i love my occupation, but i hate my job
God:
I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it.
Me:
didn't you ask me that earlier?
God:
No I didn't ask you that earlier. What's it like?
Me:
it's like collecting rocks
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
because it is collecting rocks
God:
Good reason. Should I know it is?
Me:
of course
God:
Hey.
Me:
hey what?
God:
You've got my full attention. Are you surprised?
Me:
a little
God:
" Are you surprised?"? A little?
Me:
okay a lot then
God:
Yeah okay, More than a ton?
Me:
sure, why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
You're funny
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
pronghorn antelope
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
conditions?
God:
You know, financial, medical, or personal conditions.
Me:
well, i just spent $300 on prescriptions
God:
Interesting. Do you mind if I tell other people: Quad said spent 300 on prescriptions.
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
stinkin prescriptions
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
of course!
God:
It's all good.
Me:
it's all good
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
yeah
God:
That's cool.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me
God:
You're no robot, Quad.
Me:
Sure I am
God:
I understand. " You're no robot, Quad." You are?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Do you like cyborgs?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
What was my name again?
God:
Once more? Your name is Quad, seeker.
Me:
QuadSeeker, I like that
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Shazbot!
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Shazbot!
God:
I've lost the context, Quad. Are we still on Shazbot?
Me:
no
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
iunno
God:
Are we still talking about Shazbot?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
you
God:
" What is the subject?"? Me, Quad ?
Me:
yes, you
God:
Er. " Me, Quad ?"? Me, Quad ?
Me:
I want to talk about you
God:
Do you always interview people this thoroughly?
Me:
you know it
God:
" Do you always interview people this thoroughly?"? Do I know it?
Me:
yes you know it
God:
Ugh. " Do I know it?"? Do I know it?
Me:
you know everything
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
the cake is a lie!
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
but you know it to be true
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
the cake
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
then you know the cake is a lie
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Misty says hi
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I saw an ad in the paper
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
It had a picture of Jesus with a thumbs up
God:
That's unbelievable.
Me:
Believe it!Q
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Do you like dachshunds?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Creed.
Me:
Can you take meee hiiiiggghhhheeeerrrr?
God:
If I took it, what would I do with it?
Me:
I thought you liked Creed
God:
I really like ELIZA. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
Haha Mel Gibson
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
What is Heaven like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
Uranus?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Do you really want to know?
God:
For real. Yes I would like to know.
Me:
Chris
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Uranus.
Me:
But what about the children?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
Not in the Bible?
God:
Where then?
Me:
Doesn't the Bible explain everything?
God:
It does now the Bible explain everything.
Me:
Does it explain why deer are so cute?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
Awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it Quad.
Me:
Do you like pirates?
God:
I like pets. I like White.
Me:
What about cranberries?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
I like dogs
God:
Which breed is your favorite?
Me:
dachshunds
God:
Do you show in conformation or obedience?
Me:
conformation
God:
Do you show in conformation or obedience?
Me:
I show in conformation
God:
Thanks for the information: Quad said show in conformation.
Me:
my dachshund is named Brandy
God:
Where did you get your dachshund is named Brandy?
Me:
My brother gave her to me
God:
Tell me more about your family.
Me:
My brothers are awesome
God:
Do robots have brothers are awesome?
Me:
That does not compute
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
Yeah because you're God!
God:
Yeah that's right. Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do you play Halo?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
What is a deer?

(Freeze #3)



Me:
God, what is a deer?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
what is a deer?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
no
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
tell me!
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Me:
But you know everything!
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
deer
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
I have a plush deer
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
I love deer
God:
You love deer. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
They're just sexy
God:
sexy are they.
Me:
are we getting anywhere with this?
God:
We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
What is it like being god?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
is being god like being a deer?
God:
I think you get used to it after a while.
Me:
can I do a deer dance?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because it's silly
God:
That makes sense to me. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
have you seen it?
God:
No, would you recommend it?
Me:
it's fun
God:
Why do you like it so much?
Me:
haven't you asked that before?
God:
I don't think I ever have asked that. What's it like?
Me:
can we talk about something else?
God:
Sure we can talk about whatever you want.
Me:
What are angels like?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
but I have you right here
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
what is the wingspan of an angel?
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
aww man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Quad. You are a " he".
Me:
you're supposed to know that