((Ah, sorry for belated reply. I've been buried under a pile of school projects :'D))

Letting the doe take in the beauty that surrounded them, the stag let out a deep sigh as he raised his head. For once, it was not a sorrowful sound that escaped his lips - he only felt enjoyment as the breeze touched his face. It had been a long time since he had first felt like this. Free and youthful. The fear of not having his mask on wasn't gone, but Jezara's forgiving attitude had made his heart more open. He felt like he wasn't bound by his disguise anymore.

The orange stag smiled, enjoying the air to its fullest. "True. Maybe I need to stop hiding behind it. I have to admit, this feels..refreshing." As long as he didn't have to look at his reflection, anyway. Some things just couldn't be forgotten, he'd just have to learn how to face them. It would take time, though. He turned his attention to the doe. "But I can't. Too many here know me. They'd recognize my face in seconds." The stag's voice wasn't bitter, only saddened by the truth he couldn't learn to face. The past couldn't be changed by anyone, yet the stag continued to try by helping others as to repay all the harm he had done before. He didn't even know if he did it truthfully or just for his own convenience. Maybe his true desire was for others to like and forgive him - everyone was selfish in some way, after all. The stag could only hope his wish to help truly came from the Gods as his mission.

The words about fawns made the stag's ears perk up. He was utterly surprised, and his face must have looked silly when he turned to Jezara. Could it be true? Someone still had the wonder and excitement for the world as fawns did? Those words meant a lot for the stag, as he believed that the fawns were the Forest's only hope for a brighter future. Once a deer grew up, it lost that childlike innocence forever, as the thirst for knowledge turned into arrogance and desire to use that knowledge for one's own convenience. A child used knowledge to learn more, and every little new thing seemed exciting for them. " Truly? You don't seem to stop surprising me, Jezara." He smiled, followed by a small chuckle. The doe interested her greatly. "Maybe it has something to do with one of your kind? I saw the way you look at your surroundings. It's like you see and learn something from it that I do not."

The stag felt a little guilty of pressuring his past upon her. It's not like she was a priest he could just spill his sins on and be forgiven through her. No, only the Gods were capable of forgiving him. If they'd only choose to do so one day. The silence that fell upon the snowcapped willow probably affected him more than it did the doe. The orange stag was afraid of that awkward silence, as the other one tried to figure out smart words to say. Yet everyone stayed silent - the stag didn't know if it was worse or better that way, but it left another hole in his chest.

The changing subject made the stag much more comfortable, though he didn't smile back at the doe. He noticed her expression as she spoke - maybe she didn't know what she was either? Her words spoke of joy and the wonder of learning something new, but something lacked the passion. Lowering his head and gazing at her with sympathy, he spoke softly. "It must be tough, not knowing a thing from your past." He meant it. The stag couldn't even imagine a life without his memories. The fond memory of being trained by his father, the exciting moment of leaving home for the first time, the feeling that he had felt when near Camomille... even the thought of her laying in that unnatural death position was important to him. The buck wouldn't change even the most painful of memories for anything else. The idea of having no past to reflect on sounded empty to him. "Maybe we can somehow make you remember. I'm sure you have the memories deep in your mind, they just need to be triggered. Do you know why you collect things?" He wanted to start with something simple, a stern and a confident look on his face. He didn't want to leave Jezara in the darkness, never having the chance to remember the pros and cons of her life.

The doe's attitude towards her memory loss made the stag's heart quiver with a wave of sadness. Who knew whether she had anything to miss or not? Maybe a memory of a family member, a lover or a distant friend was lodged deep inside her head, never to be remembered without help. Maybe someone was thinking about her, back in the world she came from. "Someone may be in there, Outside. Thinking about you." His face inspected Jezara, his voice now only a soft whisper that echoed inside the willow. "Do you not wish to have someone to remember when you're lonely, afraid and terrified?" He slowly shook his head, realising his words probably made no sense to the doe. She didn't know what it felt like, to think about a loved one when in need of company or safety.

Her confused answer made the stag a little embarassed that he had asked. Maybe he shouldn't be so eager to help, when there was no guarantee whether he could. Maybe he was being more of a nuisance than a helping hand. It's worth it, though. Even if her hating me is a possibility, I can't give up. Life without memories... it's just meaningless. Taking a deep, anxious breath, the stag attempted to explain his point. "That's just it - you find them interesting. This may be just speculation, but what you find interesting and worth collecting may just be the link to what you are. You know how crows love everything shiny, while a predator reveals their true nature by being attracted to the scent of blood? There may be something similar here - maybe you collect certain things because your kind is attracted to them. You learn something from them that others don't. The scent of blood can tell a predator a great few things, while we can only tell so little. " The orange stag stood up once more, shaking the remains of the snow from his thick fur. "Maybe it is personal preference, but the fact remains that you learn and find them worth your time." The stag tried to remember whether he knew about others who took time to collect and stash things. It was an unique trait to have, and he didn't believe it was learned by the doe. It must have been there since her birth, as she would have forgotten about it if the desire to collect had been learned. There had to be a small link. A starting point. "Maybe you'd be willing to show me what you've collected? Maybe they are connected somehow. If they aren't, then you can tell me about overthinking it." He winked to the doe, an amused smile forming on his face.

I just love your work Mary, it's so well put together

- Reply will be here later, got an exam on Monday so I have to study -

(Wee finally that nightmare is over. Thanks so much for wishing me luck, it probably helped :'D)

_____________________

The sorrow in the doe's voice made the stag's body tremble slightly with compassion. Was there anything more unpleasant than a saddened mind, who couldn't even affect the situation which caused it pain? Yet it was that sad expression which Jezara gave him that made the orange stag more and more confident. They would find the link - just a faint idea of what she could be should get them started. The wanderer wasn't about to leave the winged doe's mind in darkness.

Watching quietly as she stood up, stretching her muscles as the sunlight was caught in her brownish fur. For the first time, the stag noticed himself inspecting her every feature with great interest. It was clear she was not a deer - so what was she? In Manda's head, the world seemed to be very much black and white at its base. Herbivores were their own group, and predators was the only other one. He did acknowledge the existence of omnivores, but believed them to be a subspecies of the fotmer two. Due to his simple thinking, all he could think at first was if the doe ate meat or plants. The slim and elegant shape of her body looked as if she was very flexible. That would make her a good hunter. Yet she had a few deer-like features, and the beak made the whole process hard to understand.

"I don't mind at all! History and stories intrigue me greatly." Not wanting to be rude and just stare at her the whole time, the stag was grateful for the distraction as Jezara began to lead her towards the Oak. Picking up his mask on the way, the stag was glad for the change of scenery. This place provoked some unpleasant memories from a few years back, and while he had learned to accept them as a part of himself, it didn't mean he enjoyed them. Despite being in the open again, the stag didn't bother to put his mask back on. He had become too attached to the blowing, cool wind which made him feel a whole lot younger than he was. It truly had been ages since the last time. Too long.

The little safe in the tree registered in the stag's mind, attaching itself to the small map he had memorized. It interested and confused him at the same time, as it was rare for someone to collect things like this. Not only that, the things hidden inside seemed pretty valueless in the stag's mind, if not counting the lavender. Just like the snow earlier, the necklace and the statue were really pretty to look at, but they didn't have any value besides that. Not to a simple stag like him, anyway. In fact, he was a little disappointed as he saw them. Not for the pit's contents, but the fact that they didn't seem to be connected. How did a bundle of lavender and a tooth necklace go together? "You seem to collect things most here wouldn't miss. Few of us would spend our time on a statue made of stone. We deer are simple beings, I'm afraid." His smile was more apologetic than amused. Admitting he wasn't smart wasn't always so easy. Despite being meek and kinder than most males, the wanderer still had his manly pride to protect. "I don't think there's a connection between these objects, but it shows a certain aspect of you. You truly become interested in matters others wouldn't. So do these all have a unique story attached to them?" Now fully immersed in the objects he couldn't understand the value of, the stag's ears turned towards the doe, eagerly awaiting a response. He felt like they were close to the answer.

Her sudden frown was quite depressing for the stag as well, as he feared this might do the doe more harm than good. It could be painful to look for memories that the other one didn't want to remember, but it would be even more sorrowful to know there was nothing to remember. The orange stag felt a shiver, as the feeling of emptiness reached him, as well. He couldn't even imagine what it was like. He had always been so fortunate to have a safe family, a wonderful friend like Camomille had been, and he even remembered all those people he had helped in the past. Even the painful memories were to be cherished, they were all a part of his personality and gave him strength when he was down.

Feeling slightly guilty, the stag's head lowered, thick brown hair covering his face. "I've been so lucky, and I haven't even realised. I thought luck and happiness were not meant for me. I'm a fool." He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and he suddenly heard the word that petruded from the doe's mouth. Trees? Listening to her explanation, the orange stag nodded franticly, his excitement slowly returning. It reminded him of something he'd heard in the past. A story about the beast that his father had encountered in his journey to the Outer worlds. A strange winged beast who hunted, it's fur and feathers so colourful and beautiful they could blind you. The stag looked at Jezara. She wasn't that colourful, but still very pretty. Perhaps... if he could only remember better what his father had said.

"My father and uncle are the wisest people I know. They know of many species different from their own, and I'm sure my father has seen someone like you. He told me of meeting a winged beast with a beak, which had all kinds of colours adorning its body. It made its nest in the trees, yet it wasn't a bird." Turning his gaze to Jezara, the orange stag's heart became flighty - he knew they were close to knowing the answer. If he could only remember the name...

(bump )

/screeches loudly

Never have I been so excited about a character in my life x3

-------

Jezara thought hard, harder than she had thought before. When she arrived in the Forest, all she ever wanted was answers - but now she wasn't so sure. It was like a poisonous fire had started within her, burning with fear. She tried to hide it, and it seemed to work. The sight of a fuzzy, blue-brown outline in her mind made her jolt, and she closed her eyes. It didn't help - the image was sewn to her eyelids, always haunting her. She was drawn to this new discovery, but something was frightening about it.

The letter coming out of Manda's mouth was like it coming from a gun. She knew it, but the word wouldn't come. The block in her mind wasn't weak enough, yet it let images through. Jezara had always thought that words were stronger than anything, but perhaps she was wrong. Or perhaps the image had something tied to it, a piece of her history. The two were almost there, almost discovering something the Gods had hidden from her. So close she could almost feel it, like bait in a trap. But this felt wrong somehow, as well as exciting.

Oops double message

Well helloooo <3
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The flame in the stag's heart died out, as Jezara fell silent. Maybe he had said too much - maybe the female wasn't ready to face the past. Sometimes the truth was much more complicated and hurtful than you would think, thus the reason why they were blocked into your subconscious. Although so many sought after the true answer, sometimes it wasn't the best choice.

He stepped closer, offering the doe some of his body heat. She was suddenly looking a little pale, probably trying her best to remember something from her past. "Are you okay?" His voice was gentle and quiet, as he didn't want to startle the female. "If it's too much, it's okay to stop here. "

The doe did want to stop, to avoid stressing herself. The underlying fear of the past was new and fresh, and it felt wrong. However, she wanted to push on, to be strong. There was no reason to fear the past that wasn't there. But it is there, she thought, a single realization in a whirlwind of questions and ghost-answers. The words to match her queries were just beyond the mist in her mind, but they were a stretch too far. It was amusing, the way the Gods sought to torment her like this.. But perhaps they had their reasons. Perhaps her past was truly unforgettable, in a negative way. Had it been so terrible that the Gods saved her from pain and erased it?

She knew, now, that she wasn't meant to discover her past - but she was drawn like a magnet. For the first time she cursed her curiosity, and cursed the Gods for what they did. Why did they have to make a frightening thing into a maze with a frightening route? Whatever the winged doe did, she would have to know what happened to her before her arrival in the Forest. Learning, whether the lesson may be good or bad, was a part of the doe, and she and Manda were close to seeing through to her history. Whatever they found, or even if they found nothing at all, Jezara would be forever in debt to the orange stag. His kindness continued even now, when she was barely understanding his words. "It is fine." The voice was just about audible.

The winged one knew all of what Manda was telling her, and suddenly found herself in a vicious circle. It was fascinating how a single decision could use so much energy to decide on. Balance was slowly slipping away from the female, so she lay down in the snow. The cold against her ankles and belly refreshed her and cleared her head. All her wishes were coming true - but not in the way she would have liked.

"To recall my memories, I must talk to one of my own," Jezara replied, her voice sturdy now. "But to talk to one of my own, I must recall my memories." Her eyes flickered open again, no longer calm, dark pools but swirling black storms of worry. How would she know where to find... Whatever she was? She would no doubt recognise them, as it would be like looking in a mirror, but would she ever set eyes on a creature like herself? Did thus mean travelling Outside?

(so clossssse <3)

(bupp)

Jezara felt a certain weariness, the kind of exhaustion that seeped down to your bones. Perhaps it was the effort of trying so hard, or it could be the Gods, warning her of the horrors they had buried. If the past was bad, she thought, Surely they would be making more of an effort to hide it from me? She then felt guilty, as if she had challenged the great creators. She apologised silently, and it seemed as if they accepted it.

The letter hung in front of her, like a burning ring that had been extinguished at one edge. Nothing she could do would shift the block in her mind, nothing could reach through it. Unless a word was spoken, for words were stronger than actions in Jezara's mindset. It could act as a key to unlock the door the Gods had set in place, but it would leave her with knowledge she obtained in a dishonest way, and with the guilty feeling that she deserved. The doe looked to the stag, the darkness of her eyes showing little expression. She tried to look ready and determined, but under the exterior she was creating, uncertainty gnawed inside her. It was when the word was spoken that she froze solid. It was right. It felt right, it sounded right - she even wrote it in her mind and it looked right. But she didn't feel scared of it. Maybe her past wasn't so bad. A feeling of steely satisfaction ran through her, and she looked at the stag with the brightest eyes she could muster.

"Thank you."

(She'll be back, no doubt. He's lovely, and I've had fun with this too.)

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The winged doe could see glassy beads of tears under his brilliant eyes. She wondered what the words she had spoken could have meant to him - perhaps he had been a lonely stag, and words that were taken for granted by others were cherished by him. A certain nagging sensation in her chest told her that Manda was going to leave soon, and she wished they could have talked longer. But as everyone else had to move on, they had to part ways here.

The doe knew that he wanted her to proceed with finding herself and her heritage. That was her purpose, she realised then. One stag, hardly a half-day of conversation, and they had answered a question that Jezara had asked since she was created. Pride beamed inside her, shining through her eyes, and she could see it in Manda too. His candles flared beautifully, outlining his kind warrior face. Why did he have to be so afraid, to wear a mask to hide his shame? "Wear the scars with pride, Manda," she said softly after a long while filled with silence. "Not the mask in shame."

The sight of the skull slipping onto his scruffy crown was sad, in a way. Jezara had so hoped that he would wear it less often, but she understood why he needed it. Whatever had happened in his past had been cruel, and she swore that if she ever found who had hurt him, they wouldn't forget her face for a while. Before the orange stag left her standing alone by the Pond, she bowed, her crown of horns almost meeting the snow, her feathers rising in a display of respect. When she recovered from the position, he had turned, and was melting away into the mist like a flame descending into smoke.
"Goodbye, Manda!"

?

<3

@ IvyChain: awwww, yew. <3

@Waning-Sun: Ah, I would love to! Manda would love learning more about the guy. Just tell me when you're free and are ready to begin, I have a lot of free time now so any time works for me.

Excellent. <3
Could you possibly do the starting? I'm really bad with those 8I
I don't care if it's here or on another blog, whatever you feel more comfortable with.

Don't worry, he's come back, I just haven't had the time to write that update entry yet *cough* lazy

putting a track here!

@ HolyMaria: Thanks so much! <3

@ Kamaya: Hehehe, I guess that makes us secretly sisters. <3

YAY I GOTS TO TRACK THIS THING <3 hehe :3

Yaaaaaaaaaaa
Hiyaaaaaaaaa
Qygpohdwswziblgaukvasdf

*cue Circle of Life because that sounded like it*