Hm ._.".. Don't laugh at me.. I mean.. I tried. I tried to just write whatever came over me. This is pretty much affecting me irl! I neeeed to get rid of it..

Also, am I ignored? Argk. Sorry.

[center]

[=#8499a1]I can't hurt anyone. I don't want to. I want this to be over, but I don't have anything to want, to say..


Afraid. I'm so afraid... That I'll lose your friendship, for example. It's not like.. This hasn't happend to me before. I always end up hurting myself for the sake of others.


And in the end it only hurts more. It hasn't been like this before. Oh no, don't feel guilty.. It's noone's fault.


I. It's mine. I should be like the rest. I should FIGHT. I should be STRONG, TELL, HAVE NO GUILT. But that's not me.


But it hasn't been like this! I haven't been crying like this, worried like this, jealous like this. Hurt.


It's all I've got left. I don't want to be like this! Can't I be like her? She's beautifull. She's nice, kind, good company.. I wish I was. I wish I had a little bit of her!


She's a friend. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt you. I don't. You are a gentleman, you don't want to break hearts. Noone does! I'll.. Break it.


I'll break my own. I know it's for the best. I'll be upset, mad, lost. For your sake, I will be.


I love you, allright? I hate it but I do. I'd deny it forever but I do. I don't want to put pressure on you but I do. I want to turn back to the shadow's I came from, without feeling like this, but I can't. I can't describe it.

Remember. I remember. I won't forget. Maybe now you wish I could, so you weren't.. Put in this position. I'm so sorry..


But I remember. You watched me when I played with those fawns, like I always do. You were like my guardian, protecting me and those fawns from whatever lurking danger.

I have 1 hour, 33 minutes left. My cat literally chewed through my power cord.

So uh. I miss all of you bitches.

DON'T MISS ME TOO MUCH.

Im from russia....=((((

[ - Deer: ]

∞ is curious ∞ is wearing fan/gold stripe pelt and real deer mask and short antlers
∞ likes the numbers 8, 3 and 5
∞ likes brown, leaf-green and every shade of blue
∞ dislikes extreme weather
∞ is not currently in the forest

∞ click for pictogram.

{Updated on Sept 10^th}










| The Endless Encyclopedia | Old Deer Biographies | TwoEar's Art | General Blog |

well I finally decided to do it because I can. < >.< > I MAY add more illustrations at a later time. This tale was half written to explain why Light has such a fascination with frogs, and half for my beloved daughter who LOVES stories as much as Light loves frogs. <3

Edit: And ergh! Sorry for spamming this to the diaries twice, but the blog version needed updating-of-the-illustration-kind since people are actually still reading this here too! < o.o' >

<333 *luffs ye all*
.
.
.
.

Even if she wants to.


I just found out I'm going to be laid off of my awesome Starbucks job.

... darnit... I loved my job. I loved the people I work with. I loved the caffine high...

And it's not because I've ever messed up or anything of the sort. We're overstaffed, and I'm not the only one who's going to be cut off. I'll be "rehirable" because of this, but still things seem grim.


I need a hug.

~Zergarikiaka

1.) You expect a glowing light to appear when you hug a friend.
2.) You lower your invisible antlers at someone who's been teasing you at school all day.
3.) You begin to pick your feet up off the ground and walk a bit like your deer...O.o
4.) You rub your head against somone you like...XD
5.) You begin to slurp up your water, and insist your water be on a plate instead of a cup for less of a challenge.
6.) You eat mushrooms off random trees and point your head at someone. Where's the screechy sound??
7.) You run down a hill as fast as your legs can carry you and jump repeatedly, then slide on the mud while attempting to sit down and air-sit...
8.) You've attempted "water-walking" atleast once, to no avail.
9.) You've sat in a mushroom circle (they do exist, never eat any mushrooms in a fairy-circle they're called) and tried to become a random animal.
10.) You rub against a tree to try and bring down a pinecone and eat it....when you finally realised it was a maple-tree...
11.) You throw yourself to the ground when laughing!
12.) You absent mindedly whistle the spell cast noise. Just for fun!
13.) You hear random fawn moos, when not playing the game. O_o
14.) You nibble on carrots, lettuce etc like a deer would.
15.) You wear flowers on your head.
16.) You cannon-ball into a deep pond or lake in hope of changing into a frog.
17.) Whenever you walk you make 'clip clop' noises.
18.) When you have an itch you attempt to nibble at it instead of use your nails.
19.) On occasion, if you are sitting, you lift up your leg to scratch your ear.
20.) Whenever you sit/lie down you sometimes lie like a deer.
21.) Whenever you go to sleep you may curl up like a deer.
22.) When you start to hum the dancing song
23.) Draw human faced deer throughout your math books-- and the teacher suggest you look at a deer more... XD
24.) You run away from people wearing all white xDDDD
25.) You expect your candles to not run out

Hi, I haven't been here for a few weeks (other things to do !!) But I 'm back again , I 'll be less in the forest than before because I have other priorities now !! I love you all very much and I hope you have not forgot me ... LOTS OF NUZZLES TO MY FORESTFRIENDS .

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

Well some are dedicated to those people! And they're just sketched ._.".. Normally I'd colour my work, but lately I've been getting too busy. Yaya is still coming up too!! And I'm working on Avani's commission!

I'll start with a bad-scanned drawing of Gehirn, made at school. It's on a big.. Eh, sketchbook, so it's hard to scan XD.. Apologies ._.".. Maybe once I'll try better, and scan him.. Better 8D...


Then next: A belated birthday gift for Narina ._."" Raunun! Argk. Sorry. *cries*


A drawing of Polt with different hairstyles. Inspired by Avani telling me Polt's deer version should have the same little pigtails as her human version.. Yknow.. Haairrr... Polt thinks I'm torturing her.


Something for Ravenflight.. Because I did love your maskless drawing of her, I'm just such a lousy person..

"...Just remember Ill always love you..."

A drawing of Geist..


Wudiin. He keeps invading my sketchbook. Yeah I dunno what that ugly flee in the background is either XD


*Shame*
STOP INVADING MY MATHS. *Points at dutch brabbling*
XDDD



Hm. Sorry for bothering you all. You can click on "back" if you want XD.. Also, Raven, I totally love that song in your updates. *Sigh*