Hm ._.".. Don't laugh at me.. I mean.. I tried. I tried to just write whatever came over me. This is pretty much affecting me irl! I neeeed to get rid of it..
Also, am I ignored? Argk. Sorry.
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[=#8499a1]I can't hurt anyone. I don't want to. I want this to be over, but I don't have anything to want, to say..
Afraid. I'm so afraid... That I'll lose your friendship, for example. It's not like.. This hasn't happend to me before. I always end up hurting myself for the sake of others.
And in the end it only hurts more. It hasn't been like this before. Oh no, don't feel guilty.. It's noone's fault.
I. It's mine. I should be like the rest. I should FIGHT. I should be STRONG, TELL, HAVE NO GUILT. But that's not me.
But it hasn't been like this! I haven't been crying like this, worried like this, jealous like this. Hurt.
It's all I've got left. I don't want to be like this! Can't I be like her? She's beautifull. She's nice, kind, good company.. I wish I was. I wish I had a little bit of her!
She's a friend. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt you. I don't. You are a gentleman, you don't want to break hearts. Noone does! I'll.. Break it.
I'll break my own. I know it's for the best. I'll be upset, mad, lost. For your sake, I will be.
I love you, allright? I hate it but I do. I'd deny it forever but I do. I don't want to put pressure on you but I do. I want to turn back to the shadow's I came from, without feeling like this, but I can't. I can't describe it.
Remember. I remember. I won't forget. Maybe now you wish I could, so you weren't.. Put in this position. I'm so sorry..
But I remember. You watched me when I played with those fawns, like I always do. You were like my guardian, protecting me and those fawns from whatever lurking danger.