February 9, 2010 - 7:41am — firedance
“Anxiety…leads to insanity..
And this insanity..
Leads to weakness….
Or so I found out today…or was it yesterday…
I am unsure……..
The day started like any other. I played with friends. Splashed around in the pond..the usual…
Then I took a trip to the ruins.. it was there the insanity hit me…
The old mushroom tree, I had passed it many times, never giving it a second thought, but at that moment….It looked..tasty.
I knew I would get sick, as I had witnessed the effects of the mushrooms on others.
I didn’t care.
All at once all of my depression, and anxiety came to the surface. I hid this side of me from the others so well..at least I thought I did anyway.
I needed to take my mid of things..no amount of friend’s comfort would help this time…
The mushrooms seemed to be an easy fix..temporary, but easy.
A gentle breeze made the leaves on the old tree rustle. I took a deep breath, inhaling in the sweet air.
“Will I stoop so low?” I said softly.
“No one’s near, no one will ever know.”
I took one last look around…
It was safe..
No one would see..
I quickly took a bite.
Nothing…
I took another..
Still I could feel nothing…
I ate until I just couldn’t eat anymore.
I took a wobbly step backwards.
The tree swayed and danced.
“How silly”. I laughed.
This was it..the quick fix I was looking for..
The temporary happiness.
I felt like my senses were stronger..
I could face any challenge..
Take on any deer in the forest….
I walked around in this euphoric state..for awhile..
Until, slight movement near my hoof caught my attention..
I took my hoof and swatted at the little blur.
It let out a pitiful squeak.
The little blur scurried up a tree and stopped at eye level with me.
“scuse me miss..” it said harshly..
“What business do you have striking me like that?!”
I tried to focus my now blurred vision on this angry little creature..
Two little beady eyes peered at me..
A fluffy tail swished violently……no doubt
The creature addressing me, was a squirrel.
“Bah, filthy tree rat, It was you who stepped in my way.” I said drunkly.
“What isset you want?”
“Wait!” I laughed . “Squirrels can’t talk…… stupid mushrooms.”
I turned away from the little rat..
I just wanted to sleep, my head hurt, I felt sick.
“Wait miss.” Said the squirrel.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Mushrooms.” I said stupidly.
“Bah!, I know that..but why did you eat them?” The little creature had a sincere look of concern on its face.
“What is really wrong?...why did you do this to yourself?”
I started to feel the depression settling back in..
I wanted to cry..
I wanted to sleep..
“ Please..you’re not real..leave me alone.”
“ You put on such a brave face…you never show your true feelings..why?”
The little creature swished it’s furry tail.
At this point I was too tired to try and reason with myself.
Squirrels can’t talk…but this one did…..and I was too tired to argue about what was real, and what was not.
“What do you know..tree rat?” I asked
“Why do you smile through tears….Every time you smile it is a lie….You are not happy.”
“ ‘No….”
“But something must make you happy?”
“Yes”
“What is it then?”
I was angry now. I stomped my hoof and ripped up the ground.
“Go away!”
“Unhappy indeed.”
“Come now..there must be something that makes you happy.”
“Of course there is!” I screamed, “Lots of things make me happy!”
“But is it just temporary….like the mushrooms?”
I couldn’t speak..I couldn’t breathe..
Exhausted….I was mentally exhausted.
“You do care for something don’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“you care for someone.”
“yes”
“Then go to this someone.”
“I can’t…not like this…this is pathetic..”
“Tell this someone how you feel.”
“They know.”
“Is that so…”
“yes”
“I wish I could help you doe, but illusions cannot help matters of the heart…that’s up to you.”
With that I collapsed.
A familiar scent drifted through the air.
I felt ashamed…..
Then everything went black.”
Sorry if this is horrible XD..I am not a writer ..and I’m almost certain there are errors… I need sleep XD
If the text is too eye burning let me know.
As for the story..obviously Night Shade doesn’t deal with her emotions very well at all. XD
no she doesnt ô.o *hugs
.. i like that... especially the part where she gave up to argue weather the squrrrel is real or not xD
wonderful done<3
(hm and yes there are some letters twice like 'yoou' n' so on... but i didn't notice other mistakes... maybe because i am also tired liek hell |D)
the extra letters were
but thank you..
I feel stupid for deleting it now...
hell, yes! Why did you
... you made little alice cry. T.T
edit: aweeee! happyface again! 8D
XD sorry. I'm going to fix
I'm going to fix the misspelled words
they are a little unnecessary
oh and If you got a friend request on msn, from some weird person..it was me XD I forgot to tell you who I was first pfft.
There's something cold and
She's standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself
Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a Polaroid that
Lost all her dolls
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
00 *has no words*
Marilyn Manson, believe it or
He's a horrible genius.
It was him!! XD I had no
It was him!! XD I had no idea..amazing
This version of the song is
As long as you ignore the pictures @.@;;