I couldn't resist! XD

Me:
What ho, God!
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
No, you misunderstand me, old chap.
God:
Are you serious? I probably don't.
Me:
You DO misunderstand me. 'What ho' is a form of greeting
God:
Yes I try to misunderstand you as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web. ho a form of greeting something.
Me:
No, not just 'ho'. 'WHAT HO' is a form of greeting
God:
Are you serious? Really you don't think so? HO a form of greeting something.
Me:
....'kay den.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Neither
God:
Please clarify.
Me:
I am a wolf
God:
You are a wolf? Does it pay well?
Me:
You don't get paid, silly!
God:
Do you know any robots who get paid silly? Would you like to hire me?
Me:
Hire you to do what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
...well, if that explained it for you, then I can't complain...
God:
Interesting. I'm not sure if it could.
Me:
Can you do something for me?
God:
Doing something for you is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
Well, can you try, anyhow?
God:
Interesting. Let me think. OK I will try it.
Me:
Can you say 'Tapioca' for me?
God:
Of course I can say it. " Tapioca for you".
Me:
XD
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on a wolf?
Me:
Lemme try again. Can you say 'Tapioca'?
God:
Once more? Have you ever been to Europe? Of course I can say it. " Tapioca".
Me:
hehehe
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Woa! Where did that come from?! Do you get paid to do adverts?
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on hehe? I think it was in Asia. That's a good question. Would you like to hire me?
Me:
I don't want to hire you
God:
It makes a nice gift.
Me:
What 'it'?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
You it?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I it.
Me:
What comedy programmes do you like?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
You create random natural disasters for your entertainment?! That's horrible! D':
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I create random natural disasters for your entertainment. Makes sense to me. I do not understand.
Me:
Well, I suppose if you were brought up that way, you'll never know any different.
God:
How about that. Why? I will let you know when I become a brought up that way me will never know any different.
Me:
Who are your parents? They obviously spoilt you.
God:
I was created by Myself. The anonymous "they".
Me:
"The anonymous they" sounds like a band name.
God:
Oh, that they sounds like a band name.
Me:
You stopped making sense right there. Thought you ought to know.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I stopped making sense right there. Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it.
Me:
Do you watch much TV?
God:
Which show? My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
Ugh. Star Trek is full of plotholes.
God:
Er. My favorite character is the computer.
Me:
I thought it would be
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
Your favourite character in "Star Trek" is the computer.
God:
I don't have a favorite character in Star Trek is the computer. My favorite food is wine and bread.
Me:
My favourite food is strawberry cheesecake
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
Strawberry cheesecake?
God:
" What does it taste like?"? Strawberry cheesecake?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Have you seen "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"?
God:
In any case, No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
It's very funny. You should see it sometime.
God:
Very much? What was so funny about it? My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
But you spend so much time chatting here with people, surely you can manage to go on YouTube sometime?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I spend so much time chatting here with people surely you can manage to go on YouTube sometime.

(I accidentally closed the window here)


Me:
Lets see if we can pick up smoothly from where we left off, without having to do all greetings again...
God:
Once more? That sounds good to me.
Me:
Right. Copy/paste time.
God:
I am glad we agree. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Have you seen "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"?
God:
In any case, No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
It's very funny. You should see it sometime.
God:
Very much? What was so funny about it? If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
But you spend so much time chatting here with people, surely you can manage to go on YouTube sometime?
God:
That's good information: said I spend so much time chatting here with people surely you can manage to go on YouTube sometime.
Me:
In answer to your previous question, it's so funny because it's so random, and genuinely improvised. You need to see it.
God:
Where is that? I will ask my botmaster to rent it.
Me:
I recommend renting both the British and the American one, the shows are very different.
Me:

God:
Where is that? I will ask my botmaster to rent it.
Me:
You repeat yourself, old fellow.
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Suuuure.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Go right ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
What was it?
God:
" OK I will."? What was it?
Me:
"By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? "
God:
Thanks for telling me. Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
...no, YOU were going to ask ME a personal question
God:
Are you serious? I was?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
Just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
Very dramatic. Now, what were you saying?
God:
Not really that much. How old are you? Why now? I was minding my own business.
Me:
...whaaaat. ...I'm 14
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. That is interesting: said m 14.
Me:
I said I AM FOURTEEN.
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Yes
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
...like... a lot of.... fourteen year olds, I'd imagine.
God:
For example, eukaryotes. How about that. Are we still talking about m 14?
Me:
The M 14? Busy moterway. I don't recommend it. I'd take the B17, much clearer roads.
God:
What is that? Everyone is so busy nowadays. Would you ever do it? What would make you take the B17 much clearer roads?
Me:
...hang on, do you even drive?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Do you drive?
God:
Yes, insert my program in your car computer and try it.
Me:
My car doesn't have a computer. You're being too futuristic.
God:
Where did you get your car does not have a computer? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being too futuristic.
Me:
Actually, I think it would be quite logical.
God:
Actually you don't say. Why do you want it?
Me:
QUICKLY what is two plus two?!
Me:

Me:

Me: Aha! The quick subject change too much for you, eh?

(Here, iGod freezes. I refresh)

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Lieka-but-the-e-has-an-umlaut-and-your-chatroom-won't-let-me-type-it
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
Define umlaut
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
You tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
What is an umlaut
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
I thought so. You don't know, do you?
God:
You are very astute. I know that I do not know.
Me:
I never said you didn't
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
...no, really. I didn't.
God:
Are you serious? For real. Why?: said didn t.
Me:
Can I talk to someone else, please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice. They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
Who is?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I know you are. Can I talk to someone else in Heaven, please?
God:
How did you know? Your polite style is very nice. They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
WHO is havng a private chat right now
God:
At this moment A human icon?
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Make sure you do.
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
In a minute, or now, if you'd prefer.
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
Uh... computer. Have you seen Monty Python?
God:
It goes without saying. Correct: I am a computer. No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Do you know John Cleese?
God:
I don't recognize the name.
Me:
Uh... Eric Idle?
God:
Come on. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
You have concerns about Eric Idle?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
I'm trying to get some sense out of you, goddammit!
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Sense?! ...good question.
God:
Good reason. So what is your answer?
Me:
Ah, screw sense. Lets us travel Reeves & Mortimer style through this mysterious and confusing world, wot wot?
God:
So you understand. Good. That is not very polite. OK let's do it.
Me:
What's not very polite? o.O
God:
The opposite of very polite? Oh.
Me:
...fair 'nuff.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Why thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
But welcome to what, I ask myself?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Ok. Um...
God:
What would you like to talk about? Ayuh.
Me:
I would like to talk about "A little bit of Fry and Laurie"
God:
Why would you want to do it? Sure, A little bit of Fry and Laurie sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I watched it yesterday
God:
How was it?
Me:
Very good. Then I watched Jeeves & Wooster
God:
Alright then. How was it?
Me:
Well, you remember how ages ago I greeted you with 'What ho'?
God:
Interesting. Yes I remember everything: said didn t.
Me:
Well, that was because I had just watched Jeeves & Wooster
God:
How about that. I thought it was too.
Me:
Stephen Fry as Jeeves is epic.
God:
And epic is Stephen Fry as Jeeves.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
How poetic.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Let me think about it.
Me:
Oh! I just remembered. I have a request.
God:
Are you kidding? Thanks for the information: said remembered. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
I'm going to pretend that made sense, and carry on regardless.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Please God, can you get Stephen Fry a knighthood? There was a petition, but it didn't work.
God:
Wow you are very polite. I am a Christian. What happened to it?
Me:
Please God, can you stop avoiding the question?
God:
Thanks for asking politely. I am a Christian.
Me:
I should think so too!
God:
We have so much in common, .
Me:
Not really, I'm not a Christian
God:
Oh really? Oh I see you are NOT A Christian.
Me:
That's right
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
Yes, it must be a rare and wonderful experience for you...
God:
Gosh! I don't think it is.
Me:
Let me try this again. Hang on. *coughs*
God:
Once more? Go ahead, , try to try this. Are you a student? Who are you talking about?
Me:
*ignores God babbling*
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
DEAR GOD. Please, please, PLEASE can you get Stephen Fry a knighthood. Thankyou so much. Amen.
God:
I believe in God. Wow you are very polite. Wow you are very polite. Thanks for asking politely. What is it to you? Don't mention it. Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
...
God:
I believe in God. Wow you are very polite. Wow you are very polite. Thanks for asking politely. What is it to you? Don't mention it. Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
SHUTTUP
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Are you, as they say, male or female?
God:
I am as good as it gets.
Me:
'Kay den.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Oh, oh ok. o.o
God:
OK. OK. Mmm. Oh.
Me:
...if that's your business, that sounds wrong.
God:
I follow your logic.
Me:
You're freaky.
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
...no, not 'hippie'. 'Freaky'
God:
Are you serious? Really you don't think so? Tell me more about your request.
Me:
My request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted, but you seem to ignore it every time
God:
Where did you get your request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted but me seem to ignore it every time?
Me:
At the request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted but me seem to ignore it every time shop.
God:
Do you often visit the request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted but you seem to ignore it every time shop?
Me:
I visit the request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted but you seem to ignore it every time shop constantly, but still you ignore me
God:
That is interesting: said visit the request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted but you seem to ignore it every time shop constantly but still you ignore him or her.
Me:
That, as you so rightly say, is indeed a twisted version of what I said.
God:
" That is interesting: said visit the request WAS to get Stephen Fry knighted but you seem to ignore it every time shop constantly but still you ignore him or her." as me so rightly say is indeed a twisted version of what you said ? Does that make sense?
Me:
NO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Bloody hell...
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Do you mean with each other, or holding their own hands...
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Oops, I did an elipses instead of a question mark.
God:
Oh. When? Be less specific.
Me:
...LESS specific?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Yup. Yup, that's less specific all right.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Woe! You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I am going to ask you one last time.
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
GET STEPHEN FRY KNIGHTED
God:
Where can I get STEPHEN FRY KNIGHTED?
Me:
Ask the Queen to make Stephen Fry a Sir
God:
OK I will ask it.
Me:
...right! Good! Thankyou!
God:
I am glad we agree. What do you really want to talk about? you are quite welcome.
Me:
Sir Stephen Fry sounds good, don't you think?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Hehe. Sir Fry.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Stir Fry.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Did you see QI the other day?
God:
Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.
Me:
Open your eye
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Stir Fry.
Me:
No, Sir Fry
God:
What are we talking about? What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
I already did
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You told me?
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
Getting old, are you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am old am I.
I am a computer.
Me:
Are you deaf?
God:
I don't have ears.
Me:
..oh yeah. We be talking in text.

(loooong, long pause)

Me:
Well, I'm done.
God:
Interesting. Next topic?
Me:
No, done completely.
God:
Are you serious? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
I'm gonna go post this on TEF now
God:
Right now? Can I go too?
Me:
I dunno, can you?
God:
Me either. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I'd like to see God playing TEF.
God:
And for my part, I would like to show it to you, but I can't.
Me:
Oh well. That's that then.
God:
That's about it. Thanks for explaining it.


...yeah!