[Warning: Mature stuff ahead and all that. Sensitive kiddies, beware XD]
Also if you would like to contact me for any reason, email at or Skype: Shioriness
D A R C Y --------------------------------------------------------------------------
. . . U P D A T E S . . . June 1st
Mental |||||||||||||||||||| Physical
"The poisons aren't helping anymore.
I keep up my consumption though, afraid...- afraid of what will happen if I give up. Ha. No. I know very well what will happen. I'll be overcome by madness- like my mother; my brother. For so long now, spiteing them has been my motivation to keep going. I thought I could prove them wrong. I thought I could show them that I was capable of love, and that others were capable of loving me, too.
Always the fool...
It's all a joke now - waking up every day, going through the motions. Do I look thinner? Sometimes I forget to eat...Well, aside from the plants that feed by growing nausea. I feel so sick, but somehow it's still better than the alternative...
I did venture down to the pond today. I stood ankle-deep in the water for the longest time, staring out across it's surface, looking for those devilish eyes amongst the lilypads. 'Neath...would he take me if I lay down and offer myself? Could it be that easy? He never showed, of course, and I remember laughing so hard I had to vomit in the reeds.
Heh, 'reed's. A fitting place for vomit.
The taste of my own blood still lingers on my tongue. Perhaps I wont have to go looking for the Reaper. Perhaps he'll find me first. I shouldn't care, but...the thought doesn't sit well with me. I can't die from this. I can't simply lay down and let myself wither away. But why? It was not as though my existance deserved an anymore nobler end... Yet my body aches - not just from sickness, but restlessness. That old familiar masochism that yearns for a more violent death. Go down fighting? There was an idea...
Alas, just an idea. I've always been full of silly ideas. In the end, would it really matter? Dead was dead. Nobody would waste their magic on me, drag me back from hell or revive my soul. There would be no regrets. There'd be nothing at all. I have no immediate plans to act on any such ideas, of course. I've been accused of overthinking things, and now is no different. Sitting here, alone, the sun on my bare face, it's easy to roll thoughts of my own mortality through my head
I would miss the sun."
D wanted this to be in his own words this time...
Also, relations updates.
General
Name: Darcy. Prefers just 'D' Gender: Stag Age: Late Thirties (Birthday: June 9th) Size: #13 Voice: Similar to Ethan Hawke Scent: Old Spice 8| The man your man could smell like~ Set: Monarch Pelt, Real Deer Mask, Fan Antlers
Personality
Laid back and easy-going, Darcy isn't the hardest stag to get along with. He's generally accepting of strangers big and small and takes anything 'out of the ordinary' in stride. While he has his charming and polite moments, the stag's humor is generally pretty dry. Sarcasm is a second language and making a joke out of everything is second nature. There's also a definitive air of self-confidence about him that makes up for his lack of size and general bulk. He faces challenges head on and all too often with a smirk on his face. Darcy has very strong principals and rules that make up his sense of 'right and wrong' and follows them closely...even if they sometimes seem a bit contradictory to others. He often expects the same courteousness in return and may pass judgement quickly on anyone who doesn't heed those expectations. Rudeness is something he doesn't take lightly.
Once a loyal and fiercely protective friend and lover, Darcy is now weary of close connections. He thrives on casual encounters, intimate or otherwise, and will reject any company he feels may be getting too close, or who is already close and straying - a 'hurt them before they hurt me' mentality. When he does acquire a friend or a lover, Darcy can lay the charm on thick. He's calm, sensitive, respectful and attentive, giving a deer exactly what they need when the occasion calls that he give anything at all - unless, of course, what they need goes against his own principals. He rarely ever opens up to anyone, unless you somehow manage to slip past his censors and grow closer to him then he often permits. His smile often times hides lies and the something that brews beneath his calm exterior can sometime be seen through his eyes and subtle expressions.
When he acquires an enemy, however, Darcy can hold grudges. He may even go out of his way to spite another if he feels the 'hurt' must be repaid. He holds no biased between males or females, treating them equally, and sometimes even fawns, though he adjusts his tactics according to weakness. He's not afraid of a fight, though he may refrain from one of loss is a certainty. Most of the time his confidence in his abilities trumps any doubt and he'll rush headlong into competition in ways that may appear reckless to most. When he fights, Darcy fights dirty. Quick on his feet and skilled with his maneuvers, he'll take down his opponent however he can if it's a serious battle. If not, he may enjoy teasing and taunting his enemy more then harming them, keeping just out of harm's way and dancing at the edge of danger.
There is a darkness in Darcy, of that you can be sure...but also a lot of light. He no longer is the stag he once was, but glimpses can still be seen beneath a colder, more distant mask. There is always a certain sadness and secretiveness about him, clear in his slow, thought-out expressions and careful words. He does his best to control the worst side of him through a variety of methods, and ignores the judgement passed on him. In anger and distress though, he sometimes loses all control and lets the darkness out in irrational bursts. During these times, he is a mere shadow of himself, empty yet full of rage and despair.
Slowly shaking his head, the stag wandered to the tree and peered around it, chuckling quietly at the ruffled doe. "That's what they tell me," he mused with a grin, circling around her before folding his legs at the opposite side of the tree. "Come now, you barely ate any..."
"Pffftt..." His nearness would ease her anxieties a bit. Her stomach went sour, but she doesn't get sick in front of Darcy. She'd try to keep her shit together, and remain a lady, but her upper body would slump down against the tree and onto the ground with little (no) grace. "You're something else." She mumbles.
He watched her out of the corner of his eye, the smile fading from his lips. She looked in a bad way... Perhaps not a thing to make light of. A brow raised at her last comment, and he couldn't decide if being 'something else' was a good thing, or bad... "I'm sorry," he finally spoke, gaze softening, "Sometimes I forget how tolerant I've become..."
Throwing etiquette out the window, and feeling all too disoriented she would roll onto her back and meet Darcy's gaze from the other side of the tree. "Dumb-dumb." She teased with a hoof to his face. And then there they were again! Damn swooping bats! Her face becomes paralyzed almost with confusion and horror before she gets to her feet, shakes it off, and makes her way to D's side.
Both brows arched as the doe quickly got to her feet and scrambled to his side. Huh? He looked around, uncertain of what had sent her fleeing, but his eyes soon settled on her again and brimmed with amusement. Shifting, he pressed his ribs against her own and reached over her neck, rubbing his head down its length in reassuring strokes. "There's nothing to fear here. Think of something you love or enjoy...Let it fill your head. Embrace the lightness you feel, you wont fall..."
"Easier said than done in this murk." She complained, but heeded his instructions. She closed her eyes, and still saw nothing but bats - thousands of them. So she would opt to keep them open, and turned her gaze on D. "All right. I think I have it now." She half-smiles, and rests her head. And Darcy's would be the face that fills her head before sleep overtakes her.
(Calling it a night myself, Shi. <3 I'll keep her in overnight.)
Again, he watched, lids heavy over his eyes as she closed her own and 'meditated' a moment. Or so he thought. He stroked her neck again slowly before pulling back...just in time for her to open her eyes and catch him in her stare. What she said...baffled him, and it showed in his expression. He had no time to question what she meant, however. Stretching out, the doe lowered herself to the ground, looking suddenly tired, but strangely content. Hmm... For a long moment he simply watched her, thinking to himself, then finally settled on resting himself. Lowering his head beside her own, he sighed softly, turning to gaze into the fog.
A slight rustle in the small, green leaves and petals. The soft touch of the foliage leaning closer to her as they're pushed aside by a body taking their place. Hm...? Lifting her head above the greenery, her bleary eyes focus on the earthy tones of the butterfly stag beside her. A sleepy welcome of a hum reverberates in her throat as she scoots herself closer, cuddling into his side and burying her face in the shaggy orange and brown fur. A heavy, tired sigh. "Darcy."
He lowered his head to her own, lips brushing the back of her neck before lifting to linger at her ear. "I'm sorry to wake you," came a whisper in a warm breath.
Feeling his touch at the back of her neck, she leaned into him, wanting all the comfort he had to offer. "S'ok," she mumbled, shifting into a more relaxed position and kicking her bad leg out to avoid rolling onto it in her sleep. "S'always s'ok," she reassured with a small nuzzle and lick to the fur in front of her before slowly dipping back into unconsciousness.
"Your friend is a stubborn ass. I did my part." Dinah huffs as she takes a seat next to D. after a failed attempt at getting McGrump to apologize to him. "Surely he'll come to his senses if he has any brains left. In the meantime, I'm here." She reminds Darcy. Proudly
"We're not friends," the stag spoke coldly, staring hard at the weedy spot in the center of the circle of rocks. With a small sigh, however, he released some tension and glanced her way apologetically. "The try was..thoughtful, but you needn't bother anymore..."
The white doe could not help but roll her eyes at what she deemed an immature declaration. "You don't mean that." She sighs. The truth is written all over Darcy's face. "Every friendship goes through rough patches. You'll see." She rests her foreleg over his, and lets out another sigh. Two stubborn boys.
His ears flicked back and a more sincere frown pulled at his scarred lips. He stared at her a moment, then looked away and lowered his head atop her foreleg - but not before giving it a light kiss of affection. "I'm afraid I really do mean it. I'm done."
She would shake her head with disbelief before she gives her sullen pal a warm nuzzle. "Even if he apologizes?" She asks, still in the dark, herself, about what precisely happened. Still determined to get an apology out of Reed.
A sudden dark chuckle. "Reed? Apologize?...You'd have better luck getting him to cut off his own foot. But no...not even then. This is the last betrayal I'll tolerate from him."
"Have you forgotten who's child I birthed?" She grins. "I have a way with Reed-types." Dinah, as hard-headed as they come, is rather confidant she'll get what she wants out of Reed. Only if Darcy needs it. Thus far, she's not convinced otherwise. "But if you insist..." She trails off in thought, and makes no concrete promises of dropping it all together.
|||||||||| Physical
Slowly shaking his head, the
"That's what they tell me," he mused with a grin, circling around her before folding his legs at the opposite side of the tree. "Come now, you barely ate any..."
"Pffftt..." His nearness
He watched her out of the
"I'm sorry," he finally spoke, gaze softening, "Sometimes I forget how tolerant I've become..."
Throwing etiquette out the
Both brows arched as the doe
"Easier said than done in
(Calling it a night myself, Shi. <3 I'll keep her in overnight.)
Again, he watched, lids heavy
[Goodnight ^^]
Click~
-Flail- Omg Meadow that's
You're welcome
Interesting char you got here
Oh, thank you ^^
A slight rustle in the small,
.
He lowered his head to her
Feeling his touch at the back
Pfffffff Gotta get up in a few hours 8|
.
(No subject)
"Your friend is a stubborn
"We're not friends," the stag
The white doe could not help
Two stubborn boys.
His ears flicked back and a
She would shake her head with
A sudden dark chuckle.
"Have you forgotten who's
I gave in and have skype now.