Oh good lord this bio is uggo.

Tinkered with the writing below, trying to bring her back yet again.

Character

Rambunctious and playful as a child, but due to circumstance and instinct has grown into a seemingly quiet and self-preserving doe. But instinct doesn't count for much in the forest through her eyes - she finds life here incredibly difficult. In Scotland - a place she used to frequent due to it being the homeland of her father - everyone looks, smells and behaves the same. However one thing that they all lacked was any comprehension about things deeper beyond, as Kusa so eloquently puts it: "Eat, fuck, survive." She wants to do more than that, so it's back to the forest.

The grass is always greener.

Kusa is incredibly jealous of those who can interact and intermingle effortlessly. Her confidence in her ability to do anything was shattered a long time ago, and granted some pieces could be propped back together but she still falls apart at any small hurdle. This coming from the doe who thought at a fawn that she could jump the highest, had the biggest roar and was going to be the very bravest in the forest. While she still exhibits momentary flares of confidence and bolshy attitude, they're very rare and dissipate quickly. It seems like her baser instinct is making a conscious decision to suppress that side of her, telling her not to be too outspoken. Not to be so visible.

There is a deep worry that she has inherited the psychological problem that once plagued her Mother. A voice telling her to hide lest bad things happen, when all she wants to do is be a loud presence.

Behaviour

- Will get up and leave if disinterested or anxious. Rude, but it is simply because she is feeling overwhelmed by her environment and this is the only way she can process it.
- Despite social awkwardness, is completely comfortable with physical touch. Will rest against/stand close/groom others when content enough.
- Seems spaced out a lot, observes and takes her time "reading" others around her.
- Cannot initiate activities or lead, at all. Needs dominant personalities around her to follow.

History

Hello,


If I am to begin at the beginning, then my story extends long before I was born with my Mother, Kiyoko.

How my mother came to be in the forest will remain a mystery, only that she had escaped a tyrannical stag who controlled his kind through fear. She suffered greatly in his control, so even in the tranquility she found herself in, there was always a voice in the back of her mind whispering ill-thoughts. She had a name for this voice - Rokujou. She told me that Rokujou is what kept her anchored to the birch forest, kept her starving, kept her unwell. Kept everyone away from her... Kept her hiding. She was always running away from danger that didn't exist. Few managed to battle past Rokujou to meet her, and one in particular succeeded completely and showed her she needn't be afraid of living anymore. This kind and mighty stag was well respected throughout the forest, spending days building her trust and grew to love her as she loved him.

And so, I was born.

My Father is one of the most revered stags in the entire forest. He never bends to the rules of others and is a creature of nature and instinct. I couldn't have asked for a better role model, and I suppose neither could my Mother. When I was small, I remember her trying to explain to me that she did not want me to grow up in fear like she had... and that she was finally brave, for the sake of me. I remember saying that when I grew, I would be brave for her, too...

I tried.

For my kind, there is a drive to keep moving. We don't stay under the watchful eye of our parents for long, and they don't expect us to. I grew up quickly and fell pregnant one year to a stag named Lothair. Though I rarely saw my parents, I still wanted to remain their pride and show that I could not be lead astray from my purpose. The forest is an interesting place, after all, filled with creatures more wolf than deer sometimes. That, and things far, far worse... I lost my child to one such monster, and although Lothair avenged our daughter magnificently, it was the deterioration of my mind that affirmed my decision to leave the forest.

I ran, because I felt weak.

I fled from the forest, and for a time was content. I had no name, no past... but no future, either. What I felt wasn't happiness; just existence. The birch grassland, that is my home, as my Mother taught me. I never knew what happened to her... I hope that one day, if I look hard enough, I might find her hiding there still. She was always good at disappearing in plain sight... as am I.