Lost

The forest is so tense lately. So full of dischord.. anger..I know I am not blameless. It's almost strange, how this time last year everything seemed to happen.. perhaps it's the time of year.

Lately, I cannot bring myself to eat much. My wounds have begun to slowly heal..but I am still stiff when I first stand. I know that I have grown thin; I feel my ribs when I groom myself. Perhaps it's just the winter weight coming off.
Sometimes, I watch the other deer, and I wonder. I wonder if they all blame me for.. what happened. I know there are those that will never forgive me. But I wonder.. I wonder if they know how much I hurt too? And that I was only trying to protect myself. They..he..only was protecting me from him...
Oftentimes lately, I find myself in places in the forest... and I don't know how I got there. I know I must have wandered. But I don't remember. Or, I'll stare into space. I seem to do that a lot lately. Time has passed, and I don't even know it.
Most importantly.. I've failed. I've failed at protecting something so precious.. I just didn't know.. and I was hurt. If only I could have caught... have protected that little falling star..
Oh, Hoshiko.. I'm so tired. So very tired.... I think I'll rest now.