Today was a mixed bag. I woke up feeling relatively good, though the feelings from yesterday still lingered. I’m almost an adult doe, and it’s hard to get used to so many new emotions. The innocent crush I had on that stag… is different, now. It’s not the same, and it’s hard to even be around him, now. I can’t explain what the difference is, I don’t like to think about it. I feel stupid for feeling this way about someone so much older. I’m just a silly little fawn, maybe I’ll grow out of this phase, soon. I know there are probably lots of other deer who roll their eyes at me, I’m sure there are plenty of you who would like to tell me, “You’re just a fawn – you don’t know what love is, yet. You haven’t met many deer, yet. Your feelings will change, soon.” Maybe you’re right. But... Well, I do try to be modest, for the most part. Deer who are full of themselves are quite repulsive, if you ask me. Yet… If you’ll excuse such a bold statement, I am well aware that I am unusually mature for my age. My childhood has been anything but innocent, and I am already nearly grown. I am more intelligent than many deer would like to think.

Now, there are many deer in the forest who struggle with less-than-perfect fawnhoods. Many were orphaned, like me. Others were teased relentlessly by older deer; some ignored, some traumatized by various events. We deer are unique individuals, and we respond to these things differently. Some deer make up for lost time by turning themselves into eternal fawns – running around and playing tricks on other deer, acting like children in adult bodies. Other deer take a separate road; they become quiet, withdrawn, serious. And the remaining deer, myself included, take a mixture of both roads. But that mature, silent part of me is the majority of my being. I am much wiser than you might think; I know how things work.

I know he’d never like me, for a multitude of reasons. I don’t even know him that well.

But I guess, once I finally reach adulthood, I might stand a better chance. I am planning on telling him how I feel. I want to wait, though. I don’t want to.. rush things. Or…

I shouldn’t say much more, for fear that I will give away who it is that I’m speaking about.

Anyway. As I was saying, I woke up feeling terribly mixed up, thanks to the plethora of new hormones running rampant through my body. Yet, the memories of playing with Seth the day before, still hung around in my mind, making me smile. I laid for a while, feeling a little too lazy to bother getting up. That’s when he showed up. I didn’t get an image of his pictogram, I was too busy running away.

He lowered his antlers and stamped his feet at me, and I slunk off to the playground to hide, figuring he’d eventually grow bored and leave. He didn’t. Instead, he intensified his attacks, and began to yell! Terrified, I waited for an opportune moment, and took off! I’ve never run so fast, in my life! He didn’t immediately chase me; but he saw me hide inside one of the trees, and decided to follow me, to continue his angry pursuits.

I screamed, desperate for anyone to rescue me – but no one heard my cries. My sides heaved as I panted, exhausted and frightened beyond belief. Why was he pursuing me, so? Eventually, the stag’s initial anger began to take a turn toward curiosity. He moved slower, tried to look interested in other things, crept toward me inch-by-inch, rather than galloping my way. But the damage was already done – I was having none of his sneaky ways. I took off, whenever he turned to look another direction. I’ve never felt such fear, my heart hammering against my ribs so violently, I thought I might die.

It went on this way for some time – I would hide in a tree, waiting for him to dare approaching. I would use my memory of the forest to locate my next hiding spot, while simultaneously listening for the tell-tale sound of his footsteps, coming ever near. After some time, I had arrived at the pond – an unfortunate place to be, when you’re trying to hide. There aren’t many places to hide, you see. In addition, there were lots of deer around – all joyously minding their own business. While on a good day, I would have welcomed their company, today I wanted none of it. Every deer was a threat; every pair of eyes watched me with suspicion, every hoof wanted to kick my ribs in, every pair of antlers was just itching to collide into my tiny frame. I ran, screaming with fear, blind and defenseless against my attacker. I cleared the stream in a single bound, and skidded to a stop inside one of the willow’s. I think that’s where Dynamite found me – but I was too ruffled, I can’t remember much. It was all sort of a blur.

I took solace in his company, but I didn’t want to be around anyone else. I hung back and cowered when he tried to take me into the company of his friends; no deer was to be trusted, at this point. I tried to tell him to go on without me, that I just needed some time to calm down, and then I might join him. He stayed, however – ever a loyal, and sweet friend. I am lucky to have him as my friend, aren’t I? After a bit of playing, I had calmed down enough, and it was time for me to go back to sleep. So much terror had left me spent. I said goodbye, curled up, and drifted off to sleep – thinking how wonderful it was, to have such a noble and loyal friend.



When I awoke, I met up with Dynamite, once again. I was still feeling rather skittish, and I was careful to look over my shoulder every once in a while. Every distant moo constituted a 10-second listen. I analyzed every scent and sound, making sure that my attacked was nowhere near. Luckily, I haven’t run into him, since.

After a while, I spotted Raunun. He is a handsome and wonderful deer – I do like him, very much. And he is always a lot of fun. He was surrounded by many other deer, but I gladly ran up to him to say hello, surprising even myself at my boldness after such traumatizing events. Dynamite hung back, feeling unsure about being in the midst of so many deer. Then we three trotted off to play around the twin god’s statues. After only a few minutes, I began to feel much better.


I “discovered” a little stump by the water’s edge, and spent several minutes trying to sit on top of it. I never did get it; my aiming is still pretty shaky, as I’m not all too experienced with flying, yet. I resorted to sitting inside the stump, instead.



That’s when Raunun, with a stroke of good luck, landed right on top of me. Insanity ensued.







Sadly, I lost track of Dynamite somewhere along the way. Raunun and I ran off to the pond, where we did a little waterwalking. A little fawn joined us – I don’t know her name, but I know that she belongs to the human, Lieka.



We also played near the ruins. I was… uncertain, at first. I only played in the trees, not daring to approach the creepy old ruins.



Then I spotted the fawn who joined us on the pond, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to go sit on her! I was a bit too slow, though – she caught me in the act! After that, I was alright with playing near the pagan idols, as long as we didn’t venture any further into the ruins.



After a while, I said goodbye to Raunun, and went to sleep. When I awoke, I found Seth! We had a blast, together. And, for your enjoyment, an interpretation of Seth and Lemon:









We scared quite a few fawns with our antics, actually.

After that, it was back to the ruins. I was curious about the place, as my adventure with Raunun had sparked a bit of interest. After all, we had played on Pagan graves, and we were still alive… I told Seth that I was scared, and he understood. Slowly, little by little, he showed me that the ruins isn’t such a scary place. I crept into the ruins, feeling terrified and curious at the same time; comforted by the warm feeling of Seth, standing right next to me.



Eventually I realized that everything was okay, and I began to relax. Thanks to Seth, I’ve begun getting over my fear of the ruins. I still won’t go near the place if I can help it, but I won’t have to sit and sulk alone, when my friends are all having fun inside.

I had fun exploring – it’s delightful, discovering something so new and curious.





After that, we met another fawn, who was pretty friendly. He gave me some huge antlers, and they were heavy! I’m glad I don’t have to carry those things around all the time, like stags do. Being a doe is pretty nice, sometimes. Seth said goodbye, after some time. I was sad to see him go, and I laid next to him until he vanished. The fawn curled up beside me, and we slept there for hours.

Lemon