“The forest can be dull at times.
No wind to move the trees.
No fights for entertainment.
Relentless doldrums of monotony.
During these times I choose to make my own entertainment.
How?
Well there is a story to tell.”
The day started out slightly more average than usual.
For starters, I woke up with a deer sleeping ontop of me.
It probably was not on purpose.
No doubt he had attempted to sleep by my side and rolled over.
I attempted to stand up but the stag’s bulk kept me pinned down.
How troublesome.
I attempted to squirm, kick, thrash, anything to rouse my captor.
He was not the largest stag in the forest.
Thank the Gods for that at least else I would have been crushed.
Most likely this happenstance was the result of their malicious
sense of humor again.
I was tiring of their infantile teasing.
After a bit of struggling I was able to brace myself and forcefully
push my head out from under his weight.
How humiliating.
It was only a mercy that no other deer was around to bear witness.
I painfully tilted my head and looked at the stag.
Poppies in his antlers.
A spotted deer pelt.
And a skull mask..no that was his face.
Finnegan.
Great.
The fool had no idea he was attempting murder in his slumber.
It was no use.
This was going to be difficult.
After a few minutes of poking and prodding it became rather obvious
that I was not going to rouse him so easily.
I had long since given up flailing and finally decided on the only
available course of action.
I slipped my head back under the sleeping stag.
Stretched out my neck.
and bit down on the most sensitive place I could locate.
Not even a heavy sleeper like Finn could sleep through attempted desmasculization.
This was humiliating for both of us on the highest level…
Still, when faced with being crushed to death or causing a bit of harm to a stag.
Well, really, what would you have done?
“IIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
It wasn’t as much words as a hellish scream.
Thankfully it was accompanied by a quick scramble
to his feet and a series of circle turning to figure out
what exactly assaulted his manhood.
It was pathetic in a way, but I paid no mind.
I slowly rose to my own feet and attempted to stretch
my sore joints while Finn ran around like a chicken with its
head cut off.
“Excuse me…”
Still running.
“Could you sto-“
More yelling about pain.
“Look if you’ll calm down I can expla-“
Staring intently at his own backside now to inspect the damage.
“OI! STUPID! LOOK DOWN HERE!”
Finally!
Took long enough to get his attention.
The smaller stag ceased his hyperactive fit and bent down
to get in my face.
It was most likely awkward for both of us at this point.
“Did you er…my…um…Why did you do that?!”
Like I would admit I did such a vile thing.
“Hm? No. Sorry I think you rolled on me and
speared um...’yourself’ on my horns.”
There was an awkward silence where we just locked eyes.
Really what could be said at that point?
Nothing to mend the situation better.
A longer silence this time until the stag spoke again.
“…Are you alright?”
I could have said yes.
That could have been the end of it.
It really could have.
We could have gone our separate ways
and forgot the whole thing.
I hold my grudges though..and I was bored.
I faked a collapse and a small howl of pain.
“No…my leg…I can’t feel it!”
A few fake tears, big pathetic eyes, and he was sold.
So easily persuaded.
His reaction, however, was energetic as usual.
He raced around me in circles yelling about
how he’d fix it. Get leaves, get water, pray to the crying idol,
pray to the Twin Gods…How tiresome.
No, he needed a harder task.
One that would be more amusing to watch.
“I…no that will not help. I am not a normal deer.
T-there is a special remedy, but I don’t know if you could
handle it. Really you shouldn’t bother, it’s not your fault…”
He froze in his tracks and leaned forward eagerly, his pain forgotten.
“NONONO I can do it! Just tell me! lemme at it I’ll fix it!”
Now which one.
There were so many deer I could send him after.
Beads from Aislin.
Flames from Bylah.
Clay from the side of Picto.
Or even a mask from The Collector.
No.
My prey was close.
The slightest waft of jungle foliage and the occasional stray feather in the wind
made his presence known.
I raised my had feigning weakness and gave a low mournful howl.
“The medicine can only be made from the feathers from a certain deer…”
Finn leaned forward greedily to hear how he could help.
“Whichonewhichonewhichone?!”
Ugh. Someone cut sugar out of this child’s diet.
I laid my head on the ground and mumbled softly.
“Queze..The priest. I need feathers from his headdress. It’s..the only way..”
I allowed my voice to quiver and lower as I closed my eyes.
It was a dramatic stupid little act but he ate it up.
He immediately bounded away screaming things about being able to count on him.
Feh. The only thing you can count on him to do is get a good night’s rest.
As soon as he was out of sight I rose to my feet.
I lazily licked the dirt away from my leg and marked
the spot where I slept with a line in the dirt.
I would have to return before Finn came back.
Well, if he came back.
Never the less I needed to go wash the taste out of my mouth.
I took off briskly for the pound and could barely contain my laughter.
No doubt this was going to be highly amusing…
______________________________________________________________________________
Featuring
Finnegan played by Hallows.
Namedropped:
Queze played by Terabetha.
Picto played by Pictodeer.
Bylah played by Bylah.
Aislin played by Fever.
The collector played by Alicev.
ROFL that made me laugh
/has been alternating between
LOL ...yeah that's about all
...yeah that's about all I can say to this xD lmao
*dies* xDD great job!
great job!
Oh my lord... XD That was
That was amazing! I laughed the whole way through, you got his personality down perfectly! I bet he's still looking for Queze at this moment. xD
Thank you so much! It's perfect, I love it! <3
Yep that he is. Finn is
Finn is actually going to be the main character and narrator for the next story.
I'm just trying to decide how Queze will react to getting assaulted by a ball of energy babbling about needing to save a doe.
Well that all depends upon
I'd assume he'd be willing to help out...besides, s'not like it was said that the feather had to be removed
Oh man, I can't wait to read more Finn sillyness!
Really? It's gonna be great,
Gosh, I can only imagine the look on Queze's face.... Priceless. xD
I'm so glad I read this.
I LOLed. xD