It wasn't midnight. It wasn't even dusk, or dawn, or any other time when these things were SUPPOSED to happen. It was mid-day, noon, bright and sunny. Revtheyr was lying on the forest floor, curled up nice and cozy, when he felt something odd. It was almost like a profound... unraveling of something deep inside him. At first, he thought that he might just be hungry. After all, the feeling was giving him a bit of an upset stomach. He wandered for a while, coming across several other deer. Deer that weren't who he was looking for.
After having a bite of grass to eat, and a bit of flower petal for dessert - all this stomach of his could handle at that moment - he went in search of his mate. Finding Nine, he talked to him a bit, and lay beside him until his stomach settled. As he was getting up to do a little scratching against a tree, it hit him. He bowed to Nine on shaky legs, and turned.
Running... Running... Running... He didn't know WHY he was running - but then again, he did. That deep and soul-wrenching unraveling had a name, and that name was...
Ty... Ty.... Ty.... Ty... Ty! With every step and every heartbeat he knew it to be true. The essence inside him that was 'Ty' just wasn't there anymore. It was as if it had never existed at all. He continued to run, hardly caring where he was going, until he reached the pond. HIS pond. His familiar and comfortable place. He dashed into the water, splashing and swirling the clear liquid in eddies as he suddenly came to a halt.
Almost in slow-motion, he sank to wobbly knees, lying down in the cool, generally-comforting water. It could offer no comfort now. He stood after a few moments, and closed his eyes, tears streaming down his muzzle. He turned toward where the Twin Gods were, and called as loudly as he could.

"IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF FAIR!?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "DO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS!?" He choked back a sob. "YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE!? AM I JUST THE BUTT OF YOUR PLAY NOW!?"

The other deer stopped, and stared at him. Even Saosin - sweet, kind, good Saosin, came over to see what was the problem. Of course, Rev couldn't tell him - he was too choked up with tears to do anything but nuzzle into his back, tears still running. He turned to the Gods again.

"IF THIS IS THE PRICE, I DON"T WANT IT, DO YOU HEAR ME!?" he yelled "IF THIS IS WHAT YOU DEMAND, TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!"

But there was no answer from the still Gods. And a resounding kick within Revtheyr's belly that made him wince, and his stomach turn. It sickened him now. HE had asked for this. He and he alone. He'd begged Ty to pray with him. Showered the Gods with affection and adoration - and THIS was what he had brought about. Fawns... yes... And he was a male. But they meant nothing now... Nothing. He'd have them... he'd raise them. And he'd never treat them as his father treated HIM - but something inside of him, deep - where the physical could not touch - was gone. Some of the life flooded from Rev's eyes. He sank into the water, and curled up. Wishing he was able to die, to drown. But no - even THAT was denied to him now. Even that sweet release was pointless. The water closed over his head, but he found himself able to breathe. The Gods apparently wanted their carrier alive, and able to give birth to the miracles HE had asked for.
So selfish... so greedy. To ask for what wasn't possible. To throw himself on the mercy of something that he couldn't even see. To demand of them his own dreams. To show them he wanted more than what he was already given. So selfish. So utterly selfish. And this was his punishment. His payment. His torture.

Off in the distance, and nearby, he could hear the others calling to one another. Snippets of conversations floating in and out of his head as he lay there, and waited. Standing, he drew back, and with all of his breath, screamed to the noisy surroundings.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT! AND YOU DON'T CARE!" Then, quieter. "All my fault.....all.... all my fault..."

He sank back into the pond, shaking, trembling, and trying to understand. It WAS all his fault. Ty was gone because of him. And he knew that. So what could he do? Kill himself? That hadn't worked. Kill the fawns? THEY hadn't done anything. No... he'd wait until the Gods had their little miracles... then he'd do it. Once the fawns were grown, and able to fend for themselves.... He'd break off his horn, stick it between two branches, and throw himself on it, hoping to cut so deep it stopped his selfish, greedy, rotten, broken, heart.

With that plan, he closed his eyes, and curled into the water again. No more tears. He couldn't show any. He'd brought this on himself. And soon... soon, it would end. All he had to do was wait.... three, maybe four years. Be a father to the fawns... teach them... cherish them... love them... make sure they could fend for themselves. Then.. when they didn't need him anymore - he'd finally pay for what he'd done.

With a soft, self-satisfied smile on his face, just that little hint of sadness in the crook of the corner of his mouth, he drifted off into a world of nightmares - where his father became Ty, and the Gods laughed, frolicking and playing with the one he loved, the one he'd never see again.