When Aria heard the news the doe felt horrible. She backed away and turned from them both as she tried to collect her thoughts and keep herself from crying again. "And I'm sorry I didn't watch them"she choked out in a whisper.

Aria turned and trotted to Akhenaton's side and nuzzled him ,"I'm sorry"she whispered and continued to nuzzle him. At this point it was all she felt she could do to help him. "I am really really sorry"she said pushing her face into his feathers to hide her eyes.

Aria was quiet as well. Instead she stayed where she was hoping she was giving him comfort during this tough time. Those fawns were like his own and she knew she'd be devastated if the same thing happened to her little ones.

Aria looked up and frowned,"You do fine Akhenaton....it's not your fault they....they are gone...don't curse yourself please"she said nuzzling him again.

---
alrighty I responded

sorry my posts are so dang small >.<
Aria just doesn't know how to respond She wants to help but herself is depressed and can't provide much.

Aria sighed,"I know it can't be but....we can't change it either..."she said hoping she wasn't sounding harsh. The doe then went silent finding her words were falling on deaf ears. So instead she decided to stand there and say nothing at all. Silence seemed to be the best answer at the moment anyway.

Aria felt as if her Akhenaton had left again after he heard the news. Feeling no longer even useful now she nuzzled him then trotted to zash and nuzzled him. She then began to trot away."I'm glad you're not mad at me Zash....and I'm glad your back Akhenaton"she spoke through the lump in her throat."I should get back to my fawns."she squeezed out before taking off at a run before either saw her break into tears.

Aria found her fawns , or at least Authieu and curled herself around him. She ignored his questions as to what was wrong and simply told him to go to sleep. He did so reluctantly. She sobbed holding back the noise so her little one could sleep. She felt stupid and worthless like she had as a fawn. Nothing she did was ever right. She could never make anyone happy even the one she loved. Aria would never admit it to anyone but she had lost practically all her will to live. The only thing keeping her alive was the knowledge of Akhen being back and her children. If anything, they needed her. But what would she do when they finally didn't....the doe...was not certain of that answer.

She lifted her head at the sight of Akhen swooping down. Quickly she tried to whip the tears away before he saw them. She remained where she was as Autheiu seemed warm and she didn't want to deprive him of this. "Akhenaton..I'm so sorry I ran off I just....I'm sorry"she said lowering her head in remorse. What could she do. She probably made things worse though no matter what she did she felt that she did that anyway. Better to keep her child happy than to make things worse and kill her son..

Aria's eyes went wide as his beak opened and lifted her up. She let out a cry as they moved higher and higher and her head whipped around as she watched her son grow smaller and smaller. She wanted to protest but they were going too fast. Once in the tree she tried to speak again but his wings lifted high in a fearsome pose. Her eyes going wider than before and fear filled every inch of her. She scooted back having to stop due to the tree being behind her. Every part of her shook and tears filled her eyes. For a while after he spoke she could say nothing. This wasn't her gentle Akhenaton. He was genuinely pissed and it scared her. She finally relaxed, a flood of tears falling to the branch. "I ruin everything...I try to comfort...I try to stand up for myself..I try to be a good mother and yet it always gets ruined....you seem sad all the time..I want you happy but .....Akhenaton....I feel broken...lost....like everything I was...all of my dreams shattered...you, my family and my fawns are all that keep me going. "she sobbed out and had to take a few breaths for continuing. "I hate others seeing me cry..because I know I'm weak....I feel useless and I'm tired of nothing ever going well...I'm tired of losing those I love....and I fear that after this I'll lose you....."she whispered the last part. Admitting all of this to her was a death sentence. "You're my world Akhenaton....when you disappeared I....didn't know what to do..and when Zash pretended to like me I....I cracked..."she said letting the tears fall quietly from her eyes as she waited for his response.

He decided doing something drastic would get her to talk. And I just went with it. He got farther than Zash did, that's for sure. I didn't mean to control the situation, /cringe/ sorry about that. I get carried away sometimes, feel free to slap me.

Akhenaton simply listened, his pose only slipping a little bit as the tension of his muscles started to relax. He could feel the blood dripping down the underside of his left wing, but he completely ignored it, his eyes never straying from her face as she spoke.
"After admitting all of that, do you think giving up is the answer? I gave up once. This is where I ended up. I was too much of a coward to face my punishment," he kept his voice at the angry, dead calm. He didn't add that if he lived to be captured he would have been executed on the spot, "you only get a second chance once Aria, you sure as hell won't get a third. Do you really want to give it up? Just because your life started out as a...as a hiccup? Do you want to just give up on your mother, Phaios, the doe who raised you for as long as you remember? Or Zash? Do you know how many friends he has lost? Or me? I've lost everyone I've ever cared for Aria, I'm not adding you to the list. You got that? Or have you thought about your fawns yet? Do you want to do the same thing to them that your birth mother did to you?" he finally allowed his shaking wings to settle against his sides, "And I love you too much to leave you," he answered in a soft voice, all malice gone, "Did I have my doubts? Sure I did. I still do, especially over your fawns. I might lose them like I lost mine. I've never had a father figure to look up to, I don't know how to act around them. But I can learn, Aria. I can figure it out." he shook his head, "Can you not see just how much I'd do for you, Aria? I'd die for you, if it came down to it."

Akhenaton didn't flinch away at her raising her voice, merely watching her before offering a quiet, level response, "Sweetheart, normal died a long time ago. This," he flared his wings the most they would go, motioning to the forest around them, "this is your new normal. Your fawns are your new normal. Zash is your new normal. As am I. Its the here and now, it's what you make of it in this moment of time. Not what it once was or will never be. Do I still pine for the dos I met chasing butterflies? I do, sometimes I see glances of her, from time to time. Do I wish I could take time back and make it so you never encountered him? All the time, Aria. It hurts me that you had to go through that, it hurts me even more to see his mistake branded into those two fawns. But they're your normal now. And you know that they didn't choose how they were created and who they would be hurting in the process. You can't blame them, only love them. And you're the only one who can do that. You're the only one who can bond with them, Aria, like a mother should. They'll never feel as safe unless you're with them. You're going to make mistakes, we've all done it, we've all grieved and eventually got our asses kicked to get over it. You're entitled to your mistakes, just make sure you don't make the same mistake twice.

"I came back with that attempt in mind," his voice was flat, lacking any sort of emotion, "You see enough of your past mistakes, you see everyone who wronged you, it makes you realize who you still love despite all that," he took a breath, "Irie will love you, Aria. She has no reason to spite you for giving her life. Rivati turned around toward the end there, once she understood. I'd like to think it remained that way until her final breath. She's young Aria, she doesn't understand. I doubt she can hold hate in her young heart just yet. Give her a couple more months. And if that doesn't work, I'll talk to her."

The stag shook himself, forcing his feathers to settle "Of course Aria," he replied with a weak smile, all traces of his previous anger gone. He settled on the branch, fanning his wing against the bark to allow the doe an easier way to hop onto his back. "I'm...sorry. I'm not losing you too, Aria. If I do, I have no reason to keep living."

The stag nodded, mantling low to the ground, "As you wish, my butterfly," he murmured with a smile, before getting up to settle himself down beside the doe, engulfing the pair by fanning his wing over them. He rested his head on the ground, thinking of Zash and how if he told him everything was okay now, he probably wouldn't believe him. Then again, Zash was probably more messed up than he let on, it'd take more than scaring him to get his act together.

I know what you mean, This is the first time Akhen hasnt been obnoxious in months. Now it's Zash's turn. Half of his problem is his ribs aren't any better and it's hurting him pretty bad. I have to bring Annabel of of her silence, as with Tess and Kerwin, but at least Leo's slowly progressing. I might bring his buddy in sooner than later. And yeah... At least Aria will hopefully get better. I would hate to have her go, Akhen wouldn't know what to do.

Good. I'd cry as much as Akhen would.

And okay...Zash might... Ill probably throw him at Vesas tomorrow.

That'd be cute. Awe, Vesas, you'll have to work your cuteness.

Aria searched high and low for Akehnaton. She had been thinking long and hard about what she wanted to speak with him about and now had felt as though she came to a decision. She looked everywhere he would be but could not seem to find him which made her worry. "Akhenaton where are you?"she said calling for him.

She giggled and trotted to the stag nuzzling him."Well at least we get him to eat even if it takes a while"she said still smiling."I wanted to talk to you about something. We havn't really had time to fully talk about it...."she said nuzzling him again then looked for a more private spot for them to talk. She led him off to a flower patch and nestled down and waited for him to join her.

She laughed. Zash did seem to listen to her more. "Well....I know we are getting along again...but I needed to know ...are we mates?"she said getting right to it. Her blue eyes looking up into his."Akhenaton, I love you and want to be your mate...not..not to make you happy but because I love you"she said nuzzling him lovingly before returning her eyes to his.

heehee yeah if they had a baby in the future it would be when both of her own are at least young adults. But shes for it now if he wants one. She loves him enough and has been through enough that she now has come to terms with everything.


---

She smiled wide and nuzzled him more happy at his answer. "I'm glad....and you know I feel like things are going back to the way I wanted. My children are growing well...and my friends are together again.."she said leaning on him grinning and she felt as though she'd never stop smiling."And....when Irie and Authieu are grown..if you want one of your own...I..I don't mind"she said her tone very soft.

She smiled and stood up nuzzling him right under his head,"Yes love, I love you and it would not be painful knowing that I have the child of the one I love inside me."She said giving him a lick on his cheek,"But, if you do not want to I want pressure you,I merely am saying that if you want to I have no problem with it"she said with a wide smile. The poor stag, she wished she could help his mind be more at ease though it may be just something he has to solve himself.

---

daw no you havn't shown me that song. I like it I can see it fitting.

She snuggled closer to him. "Akhen...if it's your child it would never hurt me"she said sincerely. The doe knew exactly what he was afraid of but like him she didn't want to bring it up. "That is a long way from now, don't let it bother you I just wanted to let you know where my thoughts were"she said crossing one leg over his.

She nodded,"Of course Akhenaton."she said softly and closed her eyes as he lay his head across her neck. She sighed and remained quiet. She said what she wanted to say to him and now he knew. After this she'd let it be and just focus on making him happy and raising her children. If they never were to have a fawn together she was alright with that. She wanted him happy.

She looked into his eyes smiling,"I know you will Akhenaton. I believe you"she wanted to tell him that the death of the little ones was not his fault but right now that would be inappropriate.