gift art: x x ♥ ♥ x x x ♥ ♥ x



The red forest. The birch forest. I've never liked it much here, where my green plumes stick out like a sore thumb and the ground snaps and pops beneath my hooves, but I go where he goes.

Xetkal... I'm so happy to see you. I'll pretend I don't remember your disrespect the last time we spoke. But I haven't forgotten. And who is your friend? So lovely... So polite... How on earth did you manage to catch her?

The great mushroom circle beside us crackles and booms... I don't like it, but Mattie, sweet Mattie, says that it's for playing. It's fun! ...Hmph, fun like fermented fruit. It fooled me for a moment, I'll admit. It had me going. I even leaped across it's lines once or twice, and felt the forest shrink around me. For a moment, Mattie was so small! And then... the fountain. That's where you made your mistake, Drinkplatts. I see through you now. A sip from the fountain, a small sip, and..... a squirrel! To think, I fell for it! Foolish! But I'm wiser now. It looms close by, but I'm watching.

I dare not fall asleep.



So long since anything truly wonderful has happened. Mattie is a constant pleasure, but the rest of the world steams and bubbles with negativity.

Today, however... today was different. The forest gave me a day of respite. A day of happiness. Sweet Rire, who dances on his hooftips in circles around us so quickly that I can't help but join.

And then, the lovely little one... the tiny fawn Evangeline...

Awakens some dull want in me that I can't... I won't... describe.

Something I know I'll never have.

But I'll have her for today. Seek her out tomorrow.
Enjoy her as long as I can.



Warmth never lasts. Pretty soon the cold soaks through and places that should be warm give you frostbite. The stupid doe was usual. Stupid, casting on one of Mattie's bucks. We told her and she laughed.

Stupid, but normal.

Such guilt for making you leave, Mattie... So the second time, I assured myself I wouldn't give up. She would leave... running, limping, or dragged across the filthy ground.

Stubborn doe. So exciting when Ravus stepped into view, her antlers shovels to scoop out the filth. The doe lashed with sharp hooves, badly placed, but dangerous. And did Ravus help? Did Ravus rush in and save the day?

No, stupid Ravus sank deeper. Her mind rots. Her loyalty rots. I have no use for such a deer. No loyalty for those without.

You could've just left, Ravus. You could've left. You could've done nothing.

Why did you have to bow? Why nuzzle? Why greet her? Why love her?

You are less than nothing. Less than the filthy doe.

I'll cry for you today and be done with it.



Cold on one side, but I'm so warm. Warm and happy and covered by a thin layer of the heavens. It should melt, but doesn't, resting on the tips of my winter plumage and providing yet another layer against the cold.

But even if the ground were ice and the wind crawled through my bones...

...I'd be warm ♥



Ravus the tank. I'll forgive her awkward greeting if she lets me hide beneath her belly. Mattie's scent lingers in the air. Not strong, but soft, like a ghost of him hanging in the breeze. I know better than to chase it, as tempting as it feels. Ravus leads me to the source... a deer with kind eyes. I like him. The ghost of Mattie hangs on his pelt.

But before I can get any closer, the fiend appears, a splash of blue fire on the landscape. Ravus is strong and sweet, and nothing else. How can a fortress protect you if its walls keep shifting? The scent of Mattie is strong in the air, and I find that I've taken refuge beneath... achk! The stranger!

My hooves bite at the ground as I make my escape. This way, that way, to the gods, to the trees. Mattie, where are you?! Ravus makes me feel safer, but does little to calm my nerves. I want my gray knight! The fiend reappears, cloaked in a body even more vile than her normal appearance. Ravus' affiliation with the beasts makes me question her resolve to protect me against them... After all, she is a squirrel demon herself, when the moon is full and the air reeks of decay. (Or, sometimes, when the sun is high and the flowers are blooming... but still...)

Away again, to safer ground, leaving the fiend. Leaving Ravus. Leaving security for nothingness. The old oak is unapproachable... another beast caws at me from the entrance. Away again! To the trees!

The ghost of Mattie becomes thicker, stronger. So strong, it cannot be a ghost... can it? Is it... please, let it be... MATTIE! My hero! Always there when I need him most! Into the trees, into the flowers, which smell like sweetness and him.

A cocoon even stronger than the bark barrier of the old oak...

A whole world that smells of Mattie ♥



I awake today to find Mattie bloodied... My beautiful Mattie! His beautiful gray coat! I pick out the tangles and cleaned his wounds as best I can, but my blood still boils. Ravus' voice comes rolling across the hills. Strong, sturdy Ravus. If my gray knight is bloodied, I'll place us both in her care.

Too soon. Ravus is strong, but stupid. That is not Rire! You lay beside him like a friend, but he isn't! See? He doesn't bow. He doesn't greet! He shakes his antlers at me! I know Rire. That isn't him!

But you can't or won't understand. Fine! I'll drive you away, trusting Ravus. But my foot slips, and into the pond I go! Don't look! I'm ugly! My gray knight gives me the white glow, but a new foe lies in our path. A small, dark foe with beady eyes. Sniff... sniff...

A bright light! WHAT IS THIS?! The world is HUGE and Mattie is so far away! The earth topples on either side of black, beating wings that aren't mine! Mattie, Mattie! But my voice is high and stings my ears with flashes of the world around me. Away, away to a tree! My refuge! Mattie, the world is so cruel today!

But you pull me out and introduce me to a tiny white one with sad eyes. He soothes my nerves before he leaves, and you lead the way back to the hollow tree.

I follow with a heavy heart. I should not leave my friend with that impostor, but the pond is full of danger. Ravus is stupid, but strong. She can take care of herself, and I don't trust her with my Mattie right now.



Wench! Curl! Hag! Get away from my Mattie! Get away from me! Don't look so sad, you creaton! I can see the trick in your eyes. I'm not a fool. I don't know what your game is, stupid girl, and I don't care. You may be fast, but if you keep this up, you are bound to make a mistake.

And I promise, I won't let it slip by unnoticed.



I don't care that it was an accident. I don't care that you meant it for her. I don't care. I don't care.

Stop making that face. I'm the one who should be upset. At this rate, my heart will forgive you before my mind is ready.



Such a lovely day. After my usual daily prayer to the Twin Gods, I stumble across a fawn kind enough to play with me. Mattie, did you come soon enough? Did you get to see? We played! A fawn played with me! It ran away, but before! We even almost danced! ...Almost. But I could feel it coming.

That's okay. I don't need fawns now. I feel foolish, but... you will play with me, yes? Today, the chill! The cool breeze! I can barely contain myself! Yes? Yes, we can play? Over there! No, here! Here!

...What's this? This rock... I like this rock. It's so beautiful and flat. Did you know this rock was here, Mattie? Did you? I wish it were in a darker spot. I feel so strange sitting atop it out in the open. Can you move it for me, Mattie?

...Yes?

Put your back into it!

Here, I'll help.

What's this? It still won't budge?! Fussy rock! A few scratches to your smooth surface. You're not the rock I thought you were.

Here, Mattie! I found another! This one's even better! A quick rest before we attempt to...

...Mattie...

...

...Mattie, there's something in the grass...

...

...Mattie, there's something there!

The demon, the fiend!

It strikes, and I'm away. So fast, so fast. They follow: Mattie and the beast. The cold air is a dagger in my chest, and every breath drives it further in. Safety is a hollow tree trunk. Mattie, Mattie! I left him to the beast. I hear nothing outside the tree trunk. Not a rustle.

A dark shadow. I press further against the bark. It flakes off into my pelt. ...A sweet scent wafts through the opening. Mattie, you scared me half to death! Nuzzles abound, but they do not last. The fiend is nearby. A dramatic display, Mattie! You're so brave! Is it dead? ...No?! I ready myself to flee again, but the beast changes.

...Into Ravus.

The beast... is Ravus.

I cannot... Cannot comprehend.

Ravus, how could it be?

Mattie does not understand. When I turn my antlers, hooves, teeth against Ravus. He still does not understand. It breaks my heart to see him this way, but I cannot let the beast near! Drive it out!

After a long, harsh battle, she flees. Exhausted, I slump down. Mattie, I'm so sorry. It was for the best. Sometimes, you're far too trusting... But it's okay. I'll take care of you.

His weight spreads across my back. Safe again. Soft breathing. Relaxation. I doze off.

When I awake, the beast looms over us. Mattie! Mattie, get up! Get up! I claw at the ground, kicking wildly, but to no avail. The beast rests itself close by. Too close, too close! I can scratch and bite at her pelt! Nothing. An ear is just out of reach. So tired... Pull tufts of fur from her side... Nothing... She is a demon! Nothing phases her! I will not lose! My jaw it tired from biting. My legs are numb.

Mattie, you're killing us! Get up!

...Nothing.

Nothing.

The beast rests. Mattie rests.

Their sides are soft and warm.

Hmph.

One last kick.

I hope it bruises.

Flop down between them. Ravus, this is not over. You haven't won, beast creature. You will see. Fate will decide who triumphs.

...As soon as Mattie gets off of me.



Mattie, you weren't like that when I left.

Blood and bruises. You walk with a limp, although I see you try to hide it.

Hush, now.

I'll stand guard tonight.



It began with a gentle mist. So gentle, it beaded against my pelt, pierced my fur, and nestled up against my skin. This mist did the lion's share of the damage, but this rain that comes in sheets and sheets and never ends? No, this doesn't help.

The rock I was under was cold, but sturdy. Rain rolled off the edges, and I could dodge the streams of water waving their way through the soil. I allowed two others to enter. I didn't even rise. I can boast that this was confidence, but really, I was cold. So cold...

My nose runs.

After they entered, one bellowed. Bellowed and bellowed and scraped the ground with its hooves. The deer beside it took off. A fawn didn't bother to stay. Bellow, bellow.

Aching, I took my leave.

The rain is unforgiving.

A tree by the pond blocks little, but I have no energy to move further. So cold, so cold. I am like the leaves of the tree, sagging under this torrent.

Where is my strong tree trunk?

I was so cruel to him.

Where is my Mateo?



I don't understand.

I don't.

How can you do such a thing?
Both of you, but especially...

...

I find I cannot be angry for long, but my heart remains sad.
You don't try to explain, which is good.

I cannot bear to listen.



I awake from my slumber to the feel of a warm heartbeat against mine. Momentary panic subsides into happiness when I recognize the scent. Mateo always finds me, no matter how well I hide. I'm thankful for this.

As we watch the wind caress the flowers, two deer rush up. Mateo is up in an instant, and I dive between his legs. Too slow. The magic hits like a train, rushing against my pelt. Changing it. My skin prickles.

Orange. ...Peculiar.

Mateo makes a great show, and the deer flee, obviously more set on pranks than fights. Still, the damage is done. Try as I might, the pelt will not fade. I rub against the stones nearby, but it remains.

Mateo makes it better. He finds a sleeping fawn nearby, and we sneak up to it, careful not to disturb its slumber. He steals magic from its dreams, passing them to me. I do the same. Peacocks. Secretary birds. Pelts as dark as night.

And finally, a match. Mateo casts his own pelt. An idea strikes. To the trees!

Antlers. Orca. Orca. ...What are these? Ah, finally! Keys! Now we are twins! Laughing happily, we jog to the great oak. He catches me there. Surprised, I give in. Mateo, what are you...?

He knows just where all my weak spots are! Mateo, stop! Stop! Hahaha~! You are so cruel! Aren't you too old for tickle fights?

No?

Me neither.



There are so many. Everywhere I turn, more, more. My back presses against the twin gods. I have no faulty beliefs that they will protect me, but their gentle glow calms my pounding heart. Oh, to be on top of them, staring down at these rowdy deer! But my flight is crippled by inexperience. I fall short.

One approaches. A small one with a red pelt.

Stranger, begone! Knees weak, I cannot find the strength to chase him off. Closer, closer. I would sink into the ground, if it would have me, but again, my legs betray me. Frozen.

He sniffs. Once. Twice. Confused glances when I don't return the gesture. How can I? He bows. Shallow at first, then deep. A deep bow. Something to soothe the nerves that he can plainly see. Somewhere in my chattering heart, I appreciate it. I manage a small bow. So small. He must be offended, after his deep one. But no, he sniffs again. Laughs. I chuckle softly and sniff back.

He is pleased for a moment, and then, as though he no longer cares once the victory is his, bounds off into the distance. Wait! A chase. His pace is great. There are deer behind every nook and cranny. Sleeping. Resting. Skulls. Surprisingly sharp teeth. My feet fumble to avoid them. I fall behind. The chase ends.

Panting heavily, I look around. Some sort of lovely valley welcomes me. Tall flowers. I sink into them, and they tower above my head, filling the air with their sweetness. Ah, yes. This is where I was meant to go.

Rocked by this gentle part of the forest, sleep comes easily.

Sleep, and peace.



The woods are lovely, but I hear roaring in the distance. Roaring, roaring. The warm body next to me makes me feel secure, but I cannot get my ears to relax. Stiff and tight, they flicker. This way, that. Back. Forth.

Mateo, you would protect me, right? Ravus sits nearby. She, too? I believe she thinks me to be a girl... hehe. I'm happy to take advantage of this, as long as she lets me sit so close. A peacock buck sits on her other side.

He came with Ravus, so I suppose he's alright... But he didn't bow. I don't understand this.

Scoot in closer to Mateo.

Another buck, with a black and white pelt. It reminds me of death, although I cannot say why. Closer, closer to Mateo. I can feel his heart beat. It is not as slow as it should be. Mine increases in answer.

The peacock rises. Death rises. They face each other. They will bow, yes? Maybe for this one, the peacock will bow?

He does not, nor does Death. Mateo's muscles tense, contracting and shifting. He's on his feet, between them. I follow, intent to stay by his side. Death does not care. In an instant, a flash of hooves and antlers. The staring game is over. Death barrels through, clipping my haunch with one sharp hoof in his haste to reach the peacock. They fence. It is neither beautiful nor graceful.

Mateo will have none of this. He rises tall, towering over them, bellows, and attacks. The peacock turns torward him.

Turns toward my Mateo. How dare he.

I bellow, the sound emerging from my throat like a lost friend. The peacock is confused. He balks.

Mateo is before me, antlers down, and the space under his belly feels both dangerous and safe at once. I fit there easily. I see the peacock's legs showing underneath.

An opportunity.

An attack.

The peacock's legs run from blue to red, the grass flecking with its blood. Bellow, bellow! Now that I've found my voice, it comes easily. Above, Ravus' great antlers. Mateo's powerful chest. Below, stained grass. My ears thump thump with my heart's drum.

Faced with Mateo's antlers and a tiny demon it cannot understand, it flees.

Run, fiend!

Blood hot and pelt cool with sweat, we stare. The chills. The pain of a forming bruise. Wounds that bleed freely beneath caressing tongues.

But all is well. The sounds bother me less. I have a voice. I am a sound.

Hear me and shiver.

Pleased, I lie down and press comfortably against Mateo. Safe and secure once again.