there I go stealing Poets of the Fall lyrics for titles just like ooooollllddddd times haha
I don't feel very good tonight. I haven't had the best evening.
...or past couple years but I learned how to have more ok days than bad after a bit and try fixing it.
Tonight I guess I was just holding in a lot of built up stress in a constantly stressed house, and someone pushed a button that just set off the anxiety and sad-sack-ery...and the best lesson I learned as a creative person throughout my life is that no matter what, create. It's my blood and breath and the best outlet I have for whatever is stuck inside my head.
Pen is the easiest thing for me to doodle in, everything comes out of it freely and I needed something that wouldn't fight me back, something that would yield to me for once.
I also hoped hopping into the Forest just to sit and maybe hang out with a few pals would do it's usual trick of relieving some stress (idk what chill-magickry I infused into Atiq when I made him but having him on a screen next to me is just so calming), BUT it wouldn't let me connect today, which prompted me to draw in my sketchbook. Because that'll show the network? I guess? lol
Also the sketchbook I was using has a weird, flat "step" at the spine instead of a curve, and tbh my eyes are super blurry so it was hard enough to edit, so sorry for the odd line in the middle, I tried haha
Quietly wraps around you and
Beautiful things can come
All the different textures and line widths.. augh, this is such a treat for the eyes, but still at the same time looking at this I can feel the stress and frustration.
this is really gorgeous. big
<3 Hope you're feeling better
Hope you're feeling better after venting like this.
Oofta. The emotions in this
By all means, don't sit on years of stress to vent, dear. Be ok. /hug
.
@Malakh - <333 @Fish - thank
@Fish - thank you <3 I haven't really touched ink except to roughly doodle down ideas, which is a shame because I love how ink drawings look for the exact reasons you like mine haha, even though I wasn't feeling great while doing it it was kinda fun to do again.
@Unplugged - thank you so much ~<3
@ Chromai & Sarcastic - thank you<3 and uhhh...I wish I could say I was, I mean kinda a little bit this morning, but stuff happened, which I'll explain in a sec. But the problem is I'm upset about well art related stuff and how it relates to my career path and the problems I've been having trying to get it to succeed at all, it causes so much friction in my home because everyone's trying their hardest to get me to do something I do NOT want to do at all and actually hurts my portfolio/resume and it turns into a fight whenever I try to explain why I shouldn't go that direction. It didn't happen last night thank god but it brought the feeling back and I don't want to have that fight again.
And I was still feeling the remnants of that this morning but to top it off...remember the post I made like, 2 months ago about being physically harassed by my friend' bf for month, and that's why I had to move? every now and then I get texts from him still, and I ignore it because it's just him still moaning about his feelings and acting like a little victim, the apology is hollow and it's full of guilt-trippy little "do you still hate me"'s and all that nonsense, and it's like yeah of course I do if I ever see your face again I'm breaking it. I'm still pretty messed up from that experience and this morning when he friggin did it again I almost threw my phone through the window. To be fair I kinda invited this on myself because I never blocked his # until this morning, but I have a petty streak in me and I knew me ignoring him was driving him nuts so I let it go for a bit |D Kinda dumb of me but still it was a bit of a mood killer lol
I'll get over at least that part and I'll get over the more permanent issue enough to continue on as I usually do, just need a couple hours to do something I enjoy and distract myself with working on some art stuff. Maybe when I finish the stuff I need to I can try starting on some full paintings I've been wanting to do and that'll take some stress off~
I didn't mean to ramble there and kinda make this a downer LOL, but like I really do appreciate you guys, and I like making art you guys enjoy~ Thanks again for being so nice everyone <3
I really like this, a lot. I
I really admire the ink work here. And that is really working well to convey the emotion behind this picture.
♥