Bearing Witness 4-27-08

Seed's picture
((I've decided to try writing these a day after, since I never write them on the same day. Yeah. Also, I think I will begin putting my funny/other sorts of screenshots in the pictures section, to keep the 'new diaries' section from getting congested))

I wake up to the gentle pattering of rain. The cooloness, coming down like the tears of an idol whose face looms in an unknown sky, is enoch to relax me, and the weary melencholy of the last few weeks breaks like the raindrops hitting the ground. I run to the water, watching the ripples spread from lake and rain mingling with a moment of joy in my heart. I jump in, exhuberently.

Fast-forward. 21, a deer I don't know, and I, are playing beneath the big willow tree in the rain. I feel myself growing uneasy, and suddenly, I remember the last time it rained: I went beneath the willow tree with a doe that day, too. Not the way I am now, the play of friends who merge with trees, and lie back on the water. I mean I was with Payton. My heart twinges, the way it always does these day when I am by the river, and I see a fawn wearing poppies. Like the ghost of Eurydice, the certainty, the simmilarity, vanishes after but the briefest glimpse, just enough to remind me that I miss her. Understand, please, reader of my soul. I am not thinking about other does, or even the possibility of other does. I do not think she no longer cares for me, or has abandoned me. There was a period when we were fawns when I didn't see her at all, and missed her much like I miss her now. I believe she'll be back, sooner or later. Besides, I know my heart well enough: I wouldn't stop waiting, or missing her.

I gesture to the other deer for us to go somewhere else: We go to the big oak, which is warm enough for me to realize how cold I have gotten in the rain. I shiver off the last droplets of rain, and 21 and I settle next to a deer who has also chosen to sleep in the warm hollow of the tree. We are as squirrels in winter, and after a time, I fall alseep.

I wake up, and the rain is gone: the world is instead red with twilight. I join a group of deer I know, Magnet and Kelvana among them, and we enjoy ourselves. We play carosel. We dance in the flowers, among fireflies, beneath the twilight as bats flitter among us. I lose myself in the distraction of a good time, as I know I always can.