Why I was away.

Yurei's picture
For those who still remember my character Yurei, whom I've recently brought back into the forest after an extended period of absence I decided to make this very quick post on why I was away from the forest.

Before anyone jumps to any conclusions; no there was no TEF related drama that pushed me away, this community has always ( and I sincerely hope still is) the most supportive one I have ever been a member of. My reasons were personal and health related, as some of you know I have anxiety problems among other things I don't think are appropriate to discuss out in the open. To make this story short I'll skip right to the point - basically I was going through a very dark period in my life dealing with depression, panic attacks and generally feeling like I wasn't even worthy of breathing and being part of the living. I didn't feel like leaving my house or being social with anyone in any way, I neglected a lot of things and mostly spend my days sleeping.

Those of you who have been unfortunate enough to have depression know exactly what I'm talking about. When you feel so worthless that even breathing becomes a burden, that's how I was feeling. The other reason I decided to stay away from TEF for a while was because, and I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but whatever, I used to be in a complicated long distance relationship with a member of the community and frankly coming on here only made me feel worse. I didn't want to write this down or even tell her because look it wasn't her fault, long distance is a pain and she met someone else who I hope is a better person than me and I hope she's happy. It did however come at the worst possible time and aggravated my preexisting notion of how worthless I am as a human and a burden on everyone I ever meet - again not her fault at all - she was my best friend, someone I looked up to and someone I loved very dearly, but life keeps going even when we're down.

I hope this was enough of an explanation for those who did know me on here, I'm feeling much better and regularly taking my medicine as well as seeing a professional, I did go to therapy and found myself the help I desperately needed but had previously refused to acknowledge. I'm as always willing to discus my condition in private for those who want more details or those who just want to feel like they're not alone; support networks and knowing you are NOT crazy are a must in my opinion and experience. It really helps to just have someone who understands to talk to so I'm willing to be there for those who don't already have someone as well as those who want to be my support. I'm not good with sentimental stuff so I hope that was clear enough.
Aivilo's picture

I'm afraid I don't remember

I'm afraid I don't remember you, though your name rings a very distant bell; you must have come and gone during one of my own away periods - But I'm very glad to see someone return to the Forest and to hear that you're doing better than you were.
Welcome back ♥
Pegasicorn's picture

Though we didn't really

Though we didn't really interact, I do remember your name. =]
Welcome back!
Kaoori's picture

Depression is no fun. I

Depression is no fun.
I remember you, glad to see you back. Smiling

I didnt see this at the time.

I didnt see this at the time. very sad to understand, and a pity I wasn't more aware of you the times you do come around. (oh shoot, i totally bumped this old thing like a total derp)