In the time of mourning...?
December 20, 2010 - 7:58am — arrowdoe
What do you do to help yourself get past the loss of a loved one?
My great aunt Wilma passed on this past Monday after a weekend long coma in the hospital. We had her funeral on Friday. I didn't realize how close I was to her until she was gone. We spent almost every single holiday at her house and we always helped her make cakes and treats to take to the mountains each Easter Sunday.
I have hardly even found the muse to be on the computer let alone write out this blog to the community. It's gotten to the point that I wake myself up in the middle of the night screaming and crying for her. All I remember is seeing her face in the dreams and then all of a sudden it's just me in the darkness of my room.
I need your help with this... I haven't slept more than 7 hours since Friday because of the nightmares.
Likely to be deleted.
[e] Sorry to rain down on your Christmas week- this is pretty bad timing.does anyone even care?
I care.
Hmm. Maybe make a tribute to her in some way? A speech, a piece of writing, a drawing, anything. It might help you let go a little more.
I can't think of anything else at the moment.
Talk to people, draw, listen
I'm sorry to read of your loss. God bless. *HUGNUZZLE*
*hug* i care and i miss you
im not sure how to help because everyone does not deal with things the same way. I have also never lost any close family so i can't say i have been there.I dont know what its like or how you feel.I cant imagine... but i can tell you this.It will pass time heals. Keep the good memories and know that she would not want you to be sad.
im sorry if this does not help,but feel free to email or talk to me rant, cry, whatever. I'm here<3
I'm so sorry, Arrow..
Try to talk to someone. Your family, a friend, anyone. Don't lock this up inside, because it will hurt you in the long run.
We're here for you.
I care. And I understand.
When I lose anyone, it rips a gigantic hole in my soul.
I tend to find drawing helps me. But talking to anyone may help you. Don't hold it inside. Write even.
Is there something special she liked? A special dessert? You mentioned you guys baked cakes and cookies to bring to her house. Maybe she liked one of those special? You could bake it in her memory for Christmas.
You're not alone, Arrow- I'm having a hard time this Christmas too- it's my first year without my dog. We're here for you, but talk to your family members too, and remember to mourn.
I can't tell you all how much
Ocean and Redkora; Thank you ♥ That means a lot to me.
Firedance; I'm sorry I haven't been on MSN in forever... I guess now you know why. Thank you though.
Fincayra; Just letting this out here lifted so much weight off me. I only thought it'd make it worse. ♥
Kaoori; I tried that yesterday, but it didn't go well with my father. I don't think I dare to try it again.
I hope you cope well in the absence of your dog. I know how that feels too ♥
I am so sorry to hear
I'm not sure I can relate, as I have also never lost a close loved one. I can understand the lack of muse for anything right now, and I'm sure it's hard to find anything that makes you feel better. But working through these emotions is going to help, when you feel like crying-- at any time, with whatever you're doing do it. Letting it well up inside, or 'putting a band-aid' on it will not solve things in the long run.
I'm not sure what to say about the nightmares, and I've pulled staying up for 30 hours once because I was thinking and worrying about my father after he divorced my mother five months ago (and I'm still not over it). Not something I want to do again, but it's a phase and it will pass. I'd like to say think of happy things, and this does work when you're ready for it, but there is a certain amount of dwelling and wallowing in the pain that needs to happen before picking yourself up can happen; as you've noticed I'm sure, happy things don't really feel happy right now. But it's okay. This is normal and it will work itself out of you. Mourning is something that should happen, it will be impossibly painful to begin with, but take it one day at a time. One day at a time.
And as someone else said, people deal with things differently than others. I've lived through five months of my life being shattered by my lack of family, and the fact that, that comfortable-- warm feeling of "home" isn't there because of the divorce. Christmas will be really... really really hard for me this year, but I remind myself that I only let this thing shatter me for however long I want to wait to pick up myself and adapt to the changes. A loss of family member must be a horrible ordeal to go through, I can't imagine. Let this pain pass through you for however long it needs to; and then bring that smile of yours back. I'm sure she can see it where she is. (:
We're here for you.
^Mystress has always had
Bless you, Mystress
Everyone here has been helping me so much- directly or indirectly. If there's some way to send a good word to God about you all, heaven knows I'll find it.
Mystress said it perfectly.
It took me years to get over the passing of my best friend. It was incredibly hard, but I dealt with the mourning process even though it hurt. And now I'm fine. I miss her sometimes, but she's in a perfect world now, and I couldn't be happier. I'm okay.
And you know what? You're going to be okay, too.
*Hugstight*
I care. And I'm incredibly,
I care.
And I'm incredibly, incredibly sorry for your loss.
I understand how hard it is to lose a loved one. (I lost a really close family member and another family friend this year)
The only thing I can say, really, is just let time do its healing. At first, you may be confused, then overcome with grief. Anger and confusion might even come in a little later, too.
But just try to know that this is all apart of the grieving process, and it means you are human.
Over time, I can't necessarily guarantee it will become easier, because certainly that isn't always the case. But if you can, give time a chance.
It helped me personally to put up a few pictures of my lost loved ones, and look through some old photo albums to help remember them. Heck, I even drew a little bit too, though the pictures were scrabbled and the images hard to figure out. I also wrote my feelings in a word document and found a quiet place to read it out loud to myself to try and make sense of my emotions. It helped a little, but as the weeks passed, and I continued to grieve, things got a little better. (Not by much, but a little.)
I like to think of us as authors of our own lives.
It was the end of the last chapter in their book.
Yours is still being written.
Lotsa love~ <3
*hugs* I'm so sorry to hear
I really do.
But the best I can do here is suggest that you listen to everyone else's suggestions and remember that we love you very much, and don't be afraid to share, ok?
Music really helps. I
Hope these help. It really helped me when I lost my Dad and a cousin in the summer, and I'm always here to talk if you ever need me. *long-distance nuzzles*
Try to spend time with
Please take care of yourself. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Also watching adorable animal
silly goats
baby pronghorn 1
baby pronghorns 2
baby pronghorns 3
baby elk playing in a puddle
also, remembering the happy
It will heal. <3 You will heal.
I'm sorry, darling :c I wish
-snugs-
♥...
I care.
I care, but I never know what
But we are here for you, whenever you need comfort, if it helps in any way.
I'm not sure. But at least you know she's not in pain any more... <3
*Hugs* I'm sorry Arrow. But