Would one allow me to share my life, as so tenderly told by none other than myself? Perhaps it would be far too vain, but I cannot let myself be defined by such a degrading term. I suppose, I cannot let my tale go unoticed, I feel as if that if that were the case, my meaning may be lost.
All of us seek that clever state, titled none other than 'happieness'. Perhaps one has chased after this word, dreamed of it to describe themselves. One must always pursue it, as I presume anyone would gladly say, in stride, 'I am happy.' Of course, as I have learned from a very smart fellow, we all try to attain this state, although many travel by different roads. If one would kindly allow me to share the road in which I traveled.



.......:I stared out across the pond, my entire body felt as if it was buckling in a sweltering inferno, my eyes, surely glassed over, throbbed with the same intensity that the rest of my body now suffered. Every heartbeat, every stiffled breath, labored and painful, could I do nothing but sit here? Could I even try to fight the pain, which clutched at my body so tightly, choking me, blinding me from good judgement? I barely regonized the world around me, let alone the distant voices and murmurs that whispered not far away. Desperate, confused whispers, but I couldn't seem to decifer the words apart from their tones. I outstretched a leg, staring at the blur of red that sat upon in, struggling to put weight beneath the withering appendage. I did eventually make it to standing, although I wasn't even quite sure I remembered what drove me to rising in the first place. I swiveled my head, barely listening to the approaching hoofbeats and whispers. "You'll have your man, tawny skin!" I tilted my head to the side, staring off into the blur which now rested my vision. "But in return..." I began to turn away from the voices, taking labored steps away from the pond. I stopped, suddenly, my vision holding steady in the blur ahead of me. "...I want the first child you have with him!" I parted my lips, letting out a slight breath, letting words roll off the tip of my tounge. "What do you... intend to do... with a child of flesh?"
.......:I heard a distant laughter, and turned around, back towards the quiet whispers and off-beat conversation. I began to walk in that direction now, inhaling deep breaths timed with my steps. "Because she who sacrifices her child, so that she is not alone..." My breath shuttered, and I answered the distance cackle. "Isn't likely... to love it very much..." I let a smile cross my crimson-tainted lips, lowering my head in a deep nod, not daring to allow myself to bow. I stared back towards the sillouettes, grinning, watching as they tilted their heads. I extended a few more pitiful steps forward, not caring much to even attempt to read their body language. Miss Sambreel, Sir Virgil, rest I assured none to worry, I presumed you shouldn't either.



......:A sudden warmth surrounded my face, a blur of deep mocha-colored browns overwhelming my unfocused eyes. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, only opening them after the warmth dissolved. "From a cinnamon-skinned father, my son was born. White, as the back of an ermine!" I widened my grin, turning a slight distance, pawing at the cool earth, offering that perhaps we might be much more comfortable sitting. Courtesy, I must be courteous. Always kind, stop worrying others. Such a terrible trait, indeed an inflicted disease which I would need to rid of. "With grey eyes, instead of olive. My sweet, albino child." I tried desperatly to focus my eyes, trying to make out the blur which I was overlooking. Reflections of trees and sky danced the the cool water, mocking, chuckling. A voice, did it belong to the pond? No, how atrocious. Ponds do not speak! "Damn his appearence! This is not a gypsy man's son, and I will not put up with that!" I turned my head, slowly, painfully, glancing to a sitting Miss Sambreel and clearly alert Sir Virgil. You shouldn't need to protect me, sir, there's nothing left to protect, here. "Who's son is this? You've certainly fooled me!" I closed my eyes, turning my head back to the pond. Miss, Kaoori, that was her name. Was she here too? Hm, much company existed here, I cannot allow so many dear to view my horrendous state. How dreadful, impecibly deadful. "Then he went to the woodlands, with my son in his arms, and left it behind there." I stood, turning to Sir Virgil and Miss Sambreel, nodding, bowing. Do not worry, I am fine, suspend your anxious thoughts. Let yourself carry a smile, you haven't a thing to fret about. You are both healthy, young, deer. Let your shoulders be lifted from such heavy burdens. My head turned away, looking away from the pond, though my lips never seemed to manage to verbally express my thoughts. I wished that my eyes could speak for me. To tell them my sorrows and pain, to give notice to any final ideas that I couldn't seem to express. To tell Poltergeist how much I love her, how I would miss her... that she really should stop worrying...and to carry that cleverly contagious smile upon her face. Oh how the pain, like a ravaged monster, which pulled me beneath my mind, please speak to her! Tell her, let me apologize to her! Please, if only I could let my words carry to her! Let herself not be destroyed by what I know is approaching, let her smile when she remembers my fading soul, let her laugh, let her never cry. Let her tell Miss Ravenflight that I apologize for my sins, let both of them smile and live beyond their years. Let Miss Iendoe and Sir Rajan live prosperous lives, so that I watched them grow that they should continue to do so. Allow Miss Chime to continue her gracious wanderings, let Miss Clavier to gather enough courage to surpass her shyness. Grant Sir Virgil the strength he wishes to attain, and Miss Sambreel the kindness she deserves. Let Sir Walter not be so driven by hatred, and let his own mind be calmed. Sir Corvus, let him calm his anger as well, and allow Sir Parasol to fight his inner demons that unease him. Please, let Sir Baal be forgiven for his sins, grant him for once an inner peace that nothing other than that can give to him. Please, do not let them forget me... My heartbeat grew louder. Oh please, pain, let me escape from you...




.......:"And on the nights the moon is full?" A questioning voice asked. I rose my head, looking to the blue sky, struggling to focus on a blurry, distant object crossing the sky. Mi luna, my moon, why...had it appeared during the day? I took a step away from the group, responding to it's clever call. "It is...because the child is in a good mood." I burst forward, chuckling, laughing hysterically, letting my body carry me wherever is wished. Why fight it? A pause, the voice spoke once again. "And if the child cries..." I roared, the ache in my bones returning all in one instant, flooding my vision with salty tears. It hurt...everything. Within me, outside of me, why did it ache. "Your moon will wane... I ran in circles, sprinting away from the troublesome voice, the pain, the aches. I stopped, greeted by a sudden splash and a cool rush of water surrounding my ankles. "To make you a cradle..." I focused my blurry eyes, staring at my own reflection. Ah, the sir had returned! I ran through the water, grinning, crying, mixtures of emotions wreaking havoc through every flesh and bone. "And if the child cries! The water level rose higher, my reflection was clearer, & so was the reflection of the distant lunar object. "The moon wanes!" I couldn't breath, oh but did it matter? Water, cool, refreshing water, to sooth my aching heart within me, to cool the wounds outside me. "To make it a cradle." Yes.... to sooth the crying child, with a cradle. Cradle thy ideals, cradle those who are close, to cradle their thoughts, dreams, hopes, wishes. To cradle peace, untouched tranquility, to cradle the pureness of one who's heart wasn't tainted. No... not his heart. His was tainted by madness, pain, death. Ah, that's right, he wasn't one of the wiser, he allowed his mind to forgive those who may or may not have deserved it. But it was his cradle, made purely for him. And perhaps, he now could share it, as he wouldn't be able to use it much, anymore. For when the day came that the moon dissapeared for one single evening, he did as well, although daylight was easy to hide it. Perhaps noone would realize that he was gone...