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The rain hasn't let up any. I saw him briefly. Touched him. I didn't remove myself from him, even when he was gone.
I don't know if or when I will see him again.
I feel chilled. I've kept close to others to comfort my body and my heart. Few can warm me to my soul..
I yearn for the sun, but the rain holds it own memories and sweet familiarities, as well.
I kept falling and falling.. like I'd fall forever, and below my I could see something, like a tree turned belly-up with endless tendrils of roots stretching to the sky, but it never got closer.
I kept falling.. and it stayed so far below, this dark, tangled mass. I din't think I ever would have reached it, until it suddenly rushed up to meet me- I woke with a jolt right before impact to Wesker's warm body at my side.
I dread falling asleep to that dream, again. It doesn't frighten me, but something about it makes me feel sick to my stomach..
I met with Wesker, Saosin, Kaoori- and another face I don't think I know. My stag friends were smeared with red and I was so garbed in the color when we exchanged our affections.
I know blood.
One of my earliest memories is of blood- flowing from the still body of one of my now-dearest friends..
The grass was streaked with it. The ground. A trail.
The pond..
It's like a sick, churning stew, sinking my vision to one side or another, it's hard to focus on one object for too long.
I have to take my time, walk slowly, narrow my eyes.
The coughing and gasping is only adding to my misery, and leaving a strange bitterness on my tongue. I hope it passes soon.
I won't think about it.
If I tell myself I'm fine, I'll feel better.
I'll feel alright.
I'll breathe and run, again.
No, I won't.
I'll sit still, settle into the inviting, radiant heat that is so familiar to me.
A temporary distraction from discomfort, a momentary haven of home.
Days ease by, almost unnoticed. Even my own Birthday.
My Birthday..
Sometimes, I forget what my life was like when it was fresh, when I was new and naive to the world. I'm not sure how things change so rapidly, nor am I sure if it's ever for better or worse.
When was the last time I romped with my closest friends?
Who were my friends?
I remember names.. a few faces. Only a handful of those who have stayed truest to me remain a constant in my memory.
Kaoori..
Wesker, Dhuddy..
Bylah..
Saosin..
Who else?
I'm sure there were more.. Once. I'm sure there were more...
May 1-2, 2010 The rain
The rain hasn't let up any. I saw him briefly. Touched him. I didn't remove myself from him, even when he was gone.
I don't know if or when I will see him again.
I feel chilled. I've kept close to others to comfort my body and my heart. Few can warm me to my soul..
I yearn for the sun, but the rain holds it own memories and sweet familiarities, as well.
I met Dhudhwa in the rain..
{Click to view Nine's bio}
May 18, 2010 I had a dream
I had a dream once that I was falling.
I kept falling and falling.. like I'd fall forever, and below my I could see something, like a tree turned belly-up with endless tendrils of roots stretching to the sky, but it never got closer.
I kept falling.. and it stayed so far below, this dark, tangled mass. I din't think I ever would have reached it, until it suddenly rushed up to meet me- I woke with a jolt right before impact to Wesker's warm body at my side.
I dread falling asleep to that dream, again. It doesn't frighten me, but something about it makes me feel sick to my stomach..
.. zzz..
{Click to view Nine's bio}
May 24, 2010 I love this
I love this spot.. it's a funny feeling looking up at the sky from the cover of the tall grasses, like looking down a hole.
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May 31, 2010 Bylah.. I
Bylah.. I clung to him, to his scent, his heat, his presence.
I carry his odor, his memory, and keep my belly on the warm, scarred patch of earth he takes claim of.
When he's gone, again..
.. I can feel the tug of him in my chest.
He lingers in my sleep.
His shadow stays.. at my feet. There isn't a day that passes that I don't miss him.
{Click to view Nine's bio}
June 8, 2010 There was no
There was no sound in the forest.
I met with Wesker, Saosin, Kaoori- and another face I don't think I know. My stag friends were smeared with red and I was so garbed in the color when we exchanged our affections.
I know blood.
One of my earliest memories is of blood- flowing from the still body of one of my now-dearest friends..
The grass was streaked with it. The ground. A trail.
The pond..
Jettem, can you see it.. ?
It's so red..
{Click to view Nine's bio}
June 9, 2010 I don't
I don't understand..
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August 10, 2010 My
My head.
It's like a sick, churning stew, sinking my vision to one side or another, it's hard to focus on one object for too long.
I have to take my time, walk slowly, narrow my eyes.
The coughing and gasping is only adding to my misery, and leaving a strange bitterness on my tongue. I hope it passes soon.
I won't think about it.
If I tell myself I'm fine, I'll feel better.
I'll feel alright.
I'll breathe and run, again.
No, I won't.
I'll sit still, settle into the inviting, radiant heat that is so familiar to me.
A temporary distraction from discomfort, a momentary haven of home.
I'll think about the hot coil of his ribs.
Curling smoke.
We'll sit for such the longest time...
I'll be happy...
{Click to view Nine's bio}
August 10, 2010 I miss the
I miss the rain...
And I miss what it means to me...
I miss the oily dank of his coat and the gravel in his throat.
I miss his scars.
I miss his ears and his birds and his love.
I miss the crow that gave him so much trouble.
I wonder if he thinks of me...
{Click to view Nine's bio}
August 12, 2010 .... I
....
I often find myself..
Gazing into this glass orb.
I wonder what the white flakes are made of..
Is it too childish of me to hope they're real snowflakes?
Probably..
Staring too long makes me drowsy..
{Click to view Nine's bio}
September 28, 2010 Days
Days ease by, almost unnoticed. Even my own Birthday.
My Birthday..
Sometimes, I forget what my life was like when it was fresh, when I was new and naive to the world. I'm not sure how things change so rapidly, nor am I sure if it's ever for better or worse.
When was the last time I romped with my closest friends?
Who were my friends?
I remember names.. a few faces. Only a handful of those who have stayed truest to me remain a constant in my memory.
Kaoori..
Wesker, Dhuddy..
Bylah..
Saosin..
Who else?
I'm sure there were more.. Once.
I'm sure there were more...
I can't concentrate..
{Click to view Nine's bio}