Day 7[?]
Ends are just beginnings to future ends. Everything is circular. What may seem like an end is a beginning if you find the right place to start. Yet everything is singular in itself as well. Each moment can stand out as clearer than others in the mind, some thought tinted golden by feelings, settings. Circular yet it only happens once.
Isn't there a certain beauty to that?
---
Waking up today, I am surrounded by other deer. They haven't come to see me wake up, no no. They're just there, minding their own business.
I leave them to it.
---
I know something is changing. I can feel it. I feel so much more mature than the other fawns. I know I'll be an adult any day now.
I am ready.
---
First, I find a large group dancing. Noelle is in it, and I dance with them for awhile. It soon disperses, though, and I go to find something else.
A suspicious blank in my memory here.
Somehow, I am not surprised. I just accept this now.
Probably just more faces, more places.
You're all the same when you really get down to it...
---
Ah, yes.
Noelle and Esll.
Gustiro and Illrose.
How could I forget?
The cordial stag, Gustiro. So polite, so welcoming. I feel at home near him, so nice is he.
Illrose, the motherly dragon. She has always made me welcome.
I remember jumping around with you for so long, then resting, resting, resting.
Noelle and Esll...wild and cordial. You've always been welcoming to me too. Being squished like a teddy bear is a nice plus...Heh.
I wonder if you'll all treat me the same as an adult?
I hope so.
---
I remember R as well.
Roses, hm, R? You like roses.
Roses are love, but red as blood. Passion. Heat.
A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.
The false flower--beautiful, but with nasty thorns underneath.
Shallow.
Why like such a flower, R?
You still walk in circles around me, but you do not run from me.
I appreciate this more than you know.
You come closer, I come closer.
But I always wait. I won't push my boundaries too far. I want you to be comfortable.
I don't try to run to you, because I know you won't run to me.
You do, however, let me a little bit closer.
I am drawn to you. I can't say why, exactly. Maybe I just like solving mysteries, and you are an enigma...
But it feels good to be closer to you.
I won't touch you if you hate it so much, but I will try to draw closer if you won't drive me away.
Maybe if I come near enough for long enough, you will tolerate me.
---
I ended the day in a pile of deer. Tally, Imp, others. It was warm and I was comfortable; I ended up sleeping for hours.
While I slept, I dreamed.
Strange dreams, little fragmented images that made up no whole picture.
I didn't remember them when I awoke.