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13th of February, 2020


The loss of a partner.
I've never gone through anything harder than that. Yet i don't regret coming out here and spending the last days of Jay with him. He had the most amazing personality and soul, truly. Can't believe I'll never again hear him start singing out of the blue and then laughing about his range when it was off. Can't believe I'll never get to tease him again nor tell him how much i love him. Can't believe a lot of things and it still feels fucking surreal.
I guess we're visiting the mortuary today and we have a possibility to see Jay one last time, and idk what to do. On the other hand I'm aching to see him bc i miss him so incredibly much, but then again he's going to look a lot different than i remember, and i remember how badly i freaked out when i had to see my dad several days ago after his death. Funny, he's been gone for exactly 21 years today on the 13th, and tomorrow is Valentine's day. We had Valentine's day plans with Jay, too, and my whole soul is just crushed. Gotta love February.

Can't thank you guys enough for reaching out- so many have done that, even some surprising ones and it makes me even more emotional to see just how many people care.
I had legit, detailed plans to follow Jay when he'd be gone, started planning when his cancer kept coming back. Didn't tell anyone and just smiled when my therapist told me how much progress I've made during the last hear. Jay in his deathbed and you guys however convinced me to keep going and that's what I'll try to do. It's not fair that he wanted to live so, so badly, had hopes, dreams and goals and then there's me who has never appreciated my life and i gotta change that somehow. Even a day before he died, he wanted us to take selfies and despite the horrible pain he was in, he smiled that wide smile of his that reached his eyes and i fucking can't.. Either way, he wanted me to have his gecko, so I'm going to try my best to be here and take good care of him once we can make that happen. Being here with Poss and Jay's other sister has helped immensely too, i can't even express how grateful i am for that. Definitely wouldn't've made it if I'd had to fly back to finland immediately. Now we're spending time together, looking through photos and Jay's artwork and simply talking and crying together. Didn't know how helpful that could be, since I've always been a recluse and keeping my feelings to myself.

Going to try and get a memorial tattoo here before i fly back home next week, hopefully it'll be possible so i can sort of take Jay with me. I have the perfect design that includes some of Jay's old artwork.

Thanks again for being awesome and supportive <3 I'll be taking a break from tef bc of all the memories that make me miss Jay even more, but i want to come back eventually and play my Stelmaria kid to honor Jay's memory as well as his beautiful, perfect characters. Hraustr will obviously be retiring and living his best life with Liam, there's no way i can bring myself to play him without his partner. But Diana, you'll meet her eventually, she's my special bby who Jay also loved and helped me create.

Hang in there, guys; we all lost someone dear and irreplaceable.




INFO

Contains hidden hovers
Name; Tuo
Nationality; Finnish
Age; 9th April, 1990, 29 years old
Status; Taken
Personality; INFP
Plant Personality; ECHINACEA A protector. With an amazing blend of optimism, nurturing and goodwill, you lend your strength and energy to those in need. Your seemingly infinite goodwill and boundless supportive energy make you the one people turn to when times are tough. Your greatest strength is, of course, also one of your weaknesses, especially if you neglect to take care of yourself. At times like these, it’s a good idea to take a step back and focus some of that protective energy on yourself. - FENNEL You’re quiet, sometimes shy, with a tendency to be reserved. You have a humble, kind nature and often find yourself taking care of others. You can be known to hold things in, and you don’t always speak up for yourself. This tendency to hold things in can lead to disturbances. - NETTLE Truly a nurturing and supportive friend, you’re the kind of person that just isn’t for everyone. But those who take the time are rewarded with your gentle disposition, and the kind of friendship that does a person good no matter the difficulty they’re facing. When out of balance, you can become more prickly than supportive or nurturing, though—a sign that you need to shower yourself with the same kind of nurturing you so freely give to others.
Zodiac; Aries, metal horse
Leo Leo Ascendant has a strong constitution. They are very concerned with their appearance and how they behave in public. They like to dress in a youthful manner, and their bearing is strong with a sense of authority. They can pull all this off because they are just big kids at heart. This Ascendant is warm, generous and fun to be around.

Leo Ascendant is usually of sunny disposition, although they usually speak their mind. They can be extremely stubborn, and it can be challenging for them to break bad habits or behaviors. Their innate tenacity is one of their greatest assets, though. Even when everyone else is tired out and ready to give up, Leo Ascendant is still ready to inspire everyone to keep up the good work.
Ascendant
Libra Individuals with the moon in Libra turn out to be excellent planners and strategists due to their eye for detail. Intellectual stimulation is a must for them in any relationship. They value their home and family and are very affectionate. They are attracted towards the arts and possess a great aesthetic sense.

They prefer to see the silver lining on any cloud, give people the benefit of the doubt and see life as an endless stream of opportunities for joy. Compliments are a natural part of their speech. They dish them out daily and truly mean them. They relish human interaction and value it, so they try to let people know this by treating them kindly and fairly. Of course, they aren't perfect, and their one pet peeve is this whole issue of fairness. Perhaps because Libra moons put so much effort into treating others well, they are more offended than most when the effort isn't reciprocated. Often, you will see a Libra moon astonished by the rude behavior of someone who they just treated so kindly. In sports or work, they are super conscious of issues of fair play.
Moon
Taurus Taurus Midheaven doesn't like change. This goes for both the physical world and the mental one. Ideas can stick with them no matter what until they are finally convinced they should let it go. This can work with an unsatisfactory career, too. They may spend years in a dead-end job, but they fear the change, even if it may be better.

They love to develop their skills and help others; what better way to do this than when they are the boss? Once they find their niche, they are content to sail through the rest of life.
Midheaven
Mercury in Taurus People tend to listen to Taurus Mercury. They are taken seriously. They are funny and a bit sarcastic. They do not use flowery speech; instead they come across as authoritative and realistic.

Mercury in Taurus likes to learn through demonstrations, basic concepts and concrete answers. They like practical applications for what they learn. They can learn in the abstract, but the lessons are much more powerful if they can use the information personally.

They are very sensual, and have well-defined tastes. Everything they can experience through the senses: color, scent, touch? all affect their communication style. They are shrewd in business and excel at finances.

Mercury in Taurus can come across as obstinate and opinionated. They have an incredible memory. Whatever they set their efforts to needs to produce tangible results.

Venus in Pisces The person with Venus in Pisces is changeable, and can appear completely different to different people. They have the knack of picking up on the emotions of others, and they can adapt to fit the needs of those around them.

Pisces Venus has the ability to understand people and to forgive them, no matter what. It is hard for them to define boundaries around themselves. They tend to be taken advantage of because of their sense of hospitality and empathy. They often feel alone or disappointed unless they get a very clear, definitive demonstration of love and affection. They are afraid of getting hurt, and may hesitate to express their own feelings.

In friendship, they will go out of their way for a friend or anyone in need. They are thoughtful listeners who can empathize with any situation.

Pisces Venus loves unconditionally. They don't care about status; they just care about what is inside.

Mars in Aquarius Mars in Aquarius is a bit difficult to figure out. And they like it that way because they like to surprise others. They find conventional methods boring and look for new, innovational ways to accomplish their goals. They are original and unique.

Aquarius Mars is proud of their own independence. They wouldn't have it any other way. They can stand up for themselves quite well. While open-minded and progressive, they can be surprisingly stubborn. If they know you've found a pattern in their behavior, they are sure to change it.

Mars' intense energy will often combine with Aquarius' benevolent humanitarianism in an extremely positive way when it comes to charitable causes, and the needs of others. This placement frequently indicates a willingness to work tirelessly for a good cause. For those born with this placement in their charts, a general concern for their friends, humanity and social causes touches everything that they do.

Jupiter in Cancer Jupiter in Cancer has a gift at making people feel cared for. They can create a homelike environment anywhere. Whatever they turn their hand to grows or turns out well. They really know how to make the most of what they have. They have a talent for sensing the emotional currents around them and sensing when others feel vulnerable.

They are ambitious, and are led by their intuition and emotions. They are excellent at healing and caregiving. They can be very artistic, whether that is with traditional arts or with food or business. They have an excellent memory, especially for family and history. Security is very important to them.

Saturn in Capricorn Capricorn is the natural home of Saturn, and as such all of the core traits of Saturn are inherent here. Career and finance will usually be the focus of this placement -- frequently to the detriment of all else. This placement is highly desirous of power and will often go to great lengths to achieve it.

This position is not likely to be conducive to teamwork or cooperation.

Saturn in Capricorn is ambitious and hungry for power. They are focused on their career. A great organizer and planner, they easily assume responsibility and can be relied upon to take care of business. They may find it difficult to delegate, so may end up doing all the work themselves. It is hard for them to believe that others can produce results that are up to their tough standards.

Uranus in Capricorn Capricorn Uranus can be restless or impulsive. They may act before they think it through. They can be stubborn, eccentric and radical. They are good at balancing ambition, independence and their intellectual abilities. They are not afraid of challenges. They are tolerant of differences in people, and they have no problem treating them all equally. They are even tempered.

Capricorn Uranus is responsible and is capable of handling power with ease. They are good people to hold a job needing the trust of the public. They have the talent to see the coming trends long in advance. They are not afraid to change procedures in order to achieve their goals. They are logical and have a great mind. They may be excellent politicians or business leaders. They will be capable of accomplishing great things for mankind and may make great material progress.

Neptune in Capricorn Capricorn Neptune is serious and likes to think things over. They have the ability to concentrate on anything that happens, so they can solve any problems that occur. Detail work is something they usually excel at. On the other hand, they may tend towards melancholy, secrets and deceit. When they get this way, they want to shut themselves away from the world.
Eros in Pisces
Descendant in Libra
Lilith in Scorpio

Likes;
Reading, traveling, cats, animals in general, statues
Photographing, NSFW, working, nature, scents
Baking, cooking, tea, coffee
Tattoos, piercings, bodymodification
Different cultures, languages
Trying out different recipes
Walking outside in rain/after rain
Listening

Virtues;
Forgiving
Listening to anyone's problems and keeping them private
Empathetic
Non-judgmental

Vices;
Bossy as fuuudge, I'm sorry
Overprotective
Doubting self 24/7
The Worst Humor™
All the vices



Discord - Tuo#3714

I can also be contacted through my Email, , but I don't check it too often, so better leave a message to this blog before emailing and tell you wanted to reach me.

Enbis, OOC
Morgül - BIO - Tumblr - Spotify
Kalma/ Francesco d'Este - BIO - Tumblr - Spotify
Dario d'Este - Spotify
Hraustr Vargsson - Bio - Tumblr - Spotify
Ilías Adonai - Bio - Tumblr - Spotify
Lohtu - Bio - Spotify

Other personal links;
Tumblr
"funny" Tumblr
Toyhou.se
Instagram
deviantART


All of the Tumblr blogs above can contain mature content, such as macabre, violent, sexual and otherwise mentally disturbing.





CSS made by Evern (with help from Unplugged ♥) explicitly for Tuo- not to be used elsewhere. Art made by Kate Hallen

Kallonate's picture

Thank you for reposting, now

Thank you for reposting, now I'll sit here.
SoliloquyChryseis's picture

Stalkiiing

Stalkiiing Laughing out loud
Jacklo's picture

Also settles my tushie in

Also settles my tushie in here.

Jacklo's Characters/Hub
Discord: Daddy#4977
idiosyncrasies's picture

curls up here

curls up here <3
Poppyflower's picture

SNEEZES LOUDLY

SNEEZES LOUDLY
~Poppy~
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥


Pixel Wis by squeegie~
HB's picture

Hola.

Hola.
RikkaChan's picture

Track.

Track. Smiling
Kohva's picture

Yo. B]

Yo. B]
Flyleaf's picture

What a beautiful cat

What a beautiful cat .....those Eyes !!
You are really lucky to meet tef members for real!
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13

Bl mjourr.

Bl mjourr.

Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!

;__; i want to meet Tuo

;__; i want to meet Tuo someday too, you all are really happy guys
Kallonate's picture

Bwahahah we are just lucky to

Bwahahah we are just lucky to live in a country small enough to plan meetings between members.
And it's our third time harassing HB |D

third time! ;__; is Finland

third time! ;__; is Finland that so small to meet so easy each other? for example if i want to meet Halfbaket of RiverCatRa it takes me 3 days (maybe a little more) and 160$ on the train or some hours and 285$ on the plane, ha-ha
Tuo's picture

Thank you for the tracks

Thank you for the tracks everyone! :")
It's a good thing to live in a small country and be able to see friends from the internet. ♥

*slithers in* &hearts;

*slithers in* ♥
Tuo's picture

Thank you &hearts; /LATE

Thank you ♥ /LATE
Vala 's picture

I thought you always wanted

I thought you always wanted to be alone ....Hmm, I'll spellspam you , next time I see you !!<333
" ~ Lady in Red ~ "

♥ ♥

Dampir's picture

Track. Kalma just needs

Track. Kalma just needs Dakky's love >;D
Tuo's picture

He needs all the love. Not

He needs all the love. Not that he wants it. He most likely doesn't. |8
Texas's picture

Have you changed skype? If

Have you changed skype? If so, is it okay to add you again? c:
Unplugged's picture

don't mind me. I'm here for

don't mind me. I'm here for the music. post some more delicious finnish music pl0x
Tuo's picture

Rofl, what kind of music

Rofl, what kind of music would you like?
Mjrn's picture

/nests

/nests
Account previously Mjrn, returned to Veedeer.
RikkaChan's picture

I hope you have a good

I hope you have a good Christmas. ^^
Unplugged's picture

ahh idunno... i really like

ahh idunno... i really like the song in your music player. so something more fast-paced and energetic maybe?
Tuo's picture

Aaah, saw that band playing

Aaah, saw that band playing live on saturday. :") For the 20th time actually...

x

x

x

Also, not finnish but still a damned good song x
Unplugged's picture

Oh man, I've listened through

Oh man, I've listened through one of their albums multiple times yesterday while drawing... good stuff.

Thanks for the songs. All of these are really great.
Tuo's picture

May I ask which album? That

May I ask which album? That band is very dear to me, so I am interested. :")
Unplugged's picture

Technodiktator and

Sticking out tongue Technodiktator and Perstechnique. Mostly Technodiktator though. Got any recommendations?
Tuo's picture

Aaaah the newest ones.

Aaaah the newest ones. Actually I can just recommen all of their stuff. And there's another band which has the same members in it, and some starring guests. 2 Times Terror, which I already linked a few posts earlier.

You have an awesome music taste, you know that? haha!

From the U.S.C.H! album

Uzulii's picture

(8 Bonjour

(8 Bonjour
Siggy by awesome Sypris

Sighthoundlady's picture

*sneaks in*

*sneaks in*
Mjrn's picture

Uugh, sucks to hear you're

Uugh, sucks to hear you're sick. -hugs and gives soup- Feel better. ):
Account previously Mjrn, returned to Veedeer.
RikkaChan's picture

You're in my thoughts, Tuoho.

You're in my thoughts, Tuoho. :c Hope you feel better fast.
Tuo's picture

Thank you lovelies. ;; Your

Thank you lovelies. ;; Your replies made my painful morning a little bit better ♥
RikkaChan's picture

Aww, that's good! ;u; Also,

Aww, that's good! ;u;
Also, cute cat.~ Though its (not sure if female or male) expression looks very evil! XDD
Tuo's picture

Thank you! He's my own lovely

Thank you! He's my own lovely boy who manages to look derpy most of the time haha!

See for yourself ... |D
RikkaChan's picture

Oh my god. I love those

Oh my god. I love those expressions.. XDD
He also looks super soft; I wanna pet him.~
Mjrn's picture

Your cat is amazing, haha. Is

Your cat is amazing, haha. Is he a Siamese?
Account previously Mjrn, returned to Veedeer.
Kallonate's picture

-butthurt when Tuoho doesn't

-butthurt when Tuoho doesn't say Ossi is OUR cat- :cccccc I hate u.
Also yes Ossi is a purebred siamese :3
Tuo's picture

Sorry sorry. |D A blue point

Sorry sorry. |D
A blue point siamese he is. And very soft indeed. ♥
RikkaChan's picture

Happy 3 years, buddy! I hope

Happy 3 years, buddy! I hope you have lot's of fun.~ ^^
HB's picture

(No subject)

<3
Flyleaf's picture

Happy 3 years and many more

Happy 3 years and many more to come Smiling
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13

HAPPY THREE YEARS TUO

HAPPY THREE YEARS TUO

Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!

Tuo's picture

Thank you allll! I enjoy this

Thank you allll! I enjoy this place like nothing else!
Clare's picture

happy three years!! &hearts;

happy three years!! ♥
Vala 's picture

Happy three ....

Happy three ....Smiling
" ~ Lady in Red ~ "

♥ ♥

Happy three years Tuo! Glad

Happy three years Tuo! Glad to have you here c:
Kaoori's picture

Happy Three!

Happy Three!