balance

bal·ance [bal-uhns] - verb
something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise

The golden doe. Strength and softness. When something is pressed against her, she bends, but doesn't break. And somehow, instead of marring her, these things make her into something more beautiful.

But she doesn't create the noise... The noise I need to combat the screaming. I cannot get close without the static in my ears. Static of heartbeat and color.

I cannot touch.

wicked

wick·ed [wik-id] - adjective
mischievous or playfully malicious

Blood ruby laced with sodalite. Red and blue. Primary colors like childhood, and mimicry so innocent, I found myself rolling, tumbling, hopping to the beat. A friend from yesterday... Pure sodalite. Blue on blue, dark and calm and somehow sad, but not. One whose patience, oh so much patience, and kind sincerity pulled me against him more times than I usually permit. If his happiness and my discomfort are equal, does it form balance? Can I take pleasure in another's happiness? It seems the more pleasure I take in their happiness, the more the balance swings toward contact.

Ears still ringing, skin still crawling, blood still aching, yet it has become possible to cope.

Pure sodalite, ruby and sodalite, they left too soon, leaving me alone with the crystal buck. His play is happy and angry and infectious. Cruel games that are too easy to join. Sadness isn't an emotion, it's a tool. Closer, friend, or my hooves cannot reach you.

An indulgence. Prickly and full of fond affection. I adore our wicked games.

faith

faith [feyth] - noun
1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.
2. belief that is not based on proof

The forest is full of sharp jewels, shining bright as they slice through flesh and bone into the depth of your marrow. The opal doe, the opal stag. Refusal and dismissal. I am nothing. This one thinks so too, hm? I am not good enough to sit with. To stop fighting for. Dashed hopes and a new respect for the tiny crystal buck who warned me days before.

...But can I trust him? The crystal buck led me to ebony, and ebony lunges with such speed that I can barely keep a pace ahead. Crystal buck, you promised. You nodded and tapped the ground innocently. You said it would be okay. Crystal buck, you should be see-through, but you aren't. You're a warped mirror. I see what I want to see. I see what you want me to see.

And now it is too much, too much, and I have gained nothing for it but an aching chest, flaming withers, and eyes that will not rest.

leg

leg [leg] - noun, verb
1. either of the two lower limbs of a biped, as a human being, or any of the paired limbs of an animal, arthropod, etc., that support and move the body

Support, move, carry over. Move over, overwhelm, move closer. Leg bones, chicken legs, severed legs. It is not a part of me. Not a part of you. Severed leg against severed leg. It hurts nobody. Please, it hurts nobody. Let me have it, please.

Leave me be, rabbit screams. I did not kill you!

But the world shakes and shivers and sags under the weight of you, until I can bear no more. Shift, slide to one side. Make the world right again... and yet wrong.

So very wrong.

shimmer

shim·mer [shim-er] - verb
1. to shine with or reflect a subdued, tremulous light

The opal doe. Red on white and white on red. The forest glistens on her pelt.

There are many like her here. Not like her, per se, but beautiful. Lapis lazuli, the bleeding stag. Ruby, the one who confuses and taunts and dances just outside of... and sometimes inside of... antler reach. The flawed garnet, scraped and torn open. Flawed, but intriguing. The smoky quartz, soft and sharp, sweet and sour.

And those who shimmer spontaneously, when you least expect it.

prejudge

pre·judge [pree-juhj] - verb
1. to pass judgment on prematurely or without sufficient reflection or investigation.

What has he done? Has he gored your brothers or butchered your friends? I haven't heard of any such thing. I am not saying he's an easy read, but at least read him yourself! Don't judge me for doing what you failed to.

dream

dream [dreem] - noun, adjective, verb
1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

She is a rabbit, and I am a rat. She brushes my fur with a sapphire comb that erases knots and smooths edges. She brushes until my coat glistens in the moonlight. I am a lovely rat.

But I am still a rat.

"Someday," I tell her, "when I grow up, I will be a rabbit, too."

Her blue eyes are black when I look in the mirror.

Her eyes say, "Never."

But her mouth opens wide,

Tongue and teeth and heart and pain,

And screams.

dream

dream [dreem] - noun, adjective, verb
1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

A dying rabbit.

Continually dying, never dead. He won't let it die.

My fingers are needles. When I try to comfort, it screams.

It screams.

decision

de·ci·sion [dih-sizh-uhn]
1. the act of or need for making up one's mind

Jewels or warmth? Something I covet, or something I need?

I am cruel, even to myself.

But my fur is singed... I am ugly. A cracked gem. Perhaps I shouldn't stay here...

fire

fire [fahyuhr]
1. a burning mass of material, as on a hearth or in a furnace

Cold, cold, cold. Frozen tree trunks and icicle mushrooms. Warmth from other bodies touches the air with childlike fingertips... unsure and fleeting.

When the smell of burn hits the breeze, I cannot resist. I am sorry, my headstrong white companion. I respect you, but I am so cold. I must meet your friend another day.

And atop a hill, my furnace. The one whose touch is strong and satisfying. Too excited; too close... the tips of my ears singe. A shiver, and I find an appropriate distance. On my other side, sweet Feyrbrand joins us.

A cocoon of burning warmth.

music

mu·sic [myoo-zik] - noun
1. any sweet, pleasing, or harmonious sounds or sound

The trees sing. I know this. The pines have harp voices and the aspen, violins.

...But the mushrooms? They sound the sweetest, their smooth white skin humming against a snow-tipped pelt.

dream

dream [dreem] - noun, adjective, verb
1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

A dying rabbit.

Shadow hands that stir the silence. He reaches in and pulls everything out, and seals my lips with blue diamonds and barbed wire.

I dare not close my eyes again.

covet

cov·et [kuhv-it] - verb
1. to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others

I tagged behind it. Black and shiny and I wanted it so bad. A bead of onyx on the forest floor with an ivory inlay... shining white teeth that glistened and dripped. I wanted the onyx.

I balked, fears overwhelming as ivory ivory ivory filled my vision.

I am sorry. So sorry for bringing this thing. Please don't make me leave.

But even after fear and guilt and anger... Even now, I want it.

intimidate

in·tim·i·date [in-tim-i-deyt] -verb
1. to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear

Filthy doe, stupid doe, chasing me around sleeping giants. Do you feel strong, heathen? Do you feel powerful? You sicken me.

furnace

fur·nace [fur-nis] -noun
1. a place characterized by intense heat

Surrounded by cold and snow and warm bodies that I want not to touch. Finally, a solution. Warmth at a distance. Sit still, stupid buck. Let me steal your heat.

...Much better. You are not stupid, after all. Very smart. Very sweet.

The snow makes me yearn for your company, but you have gone. I shall seek you out. You aren't hard to find, scorching the ground as you do. The cool breeze carries you far.

fate

fate [feyt] -noun
1. that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny

Beauty on the first cast... And you don't run off like the others.
Can we play a while, then? Will you permit me?

silly

sil·ly [sil-ee] -adjective
1. weak-minded or lacking good sense; stupid or foolish
2. absurd; ridiculous; irrational

Around and around and toppling and flying like lost flower petals on the breeze.
...Why are my feet leading me into something so frustratingly purposeless?

lie

lie [lahy] -noun, verb
1. something intended or serving to convey a false impression

The closeness... is so strange and horrible and makes my skin crawl... Except that I love it. If you don't know I know, it softens the blush. I'll pretend I am asleep...

heaven

heav·en [hev-uhn] –noun
1. the abode of god, the angels, and the spirits of the righteous after death; the place or state of existence of the blessed after the mortal life.
2. a place or state of supreme happiness: She made his life a heaven on earth.

Supreme happiness...
Then is heaven someplace you find?
Or something you create?

Tzi has trouble speaking. The above entries are her thoughts, therefore the English is perfect.
Do not expect this level of comprehension when actually talking to her.

crystal buck: Caen ♠
lapis lazuli: Eli ♠
furnace: Voxraati ♠
smokey quartz: Tieff ♠
Flawed Garnet: Gustiro ♠

Kyoan: ebony and onyx
Dinah Moon: opal doe
Henna: golden doe
Saburo: pure sodalite
Dag's ooc: ruby and sodalite