♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
pain
pain
I feel sick
sick.
What is this?
It burns!
Always burns.
This is what you get
For not listening.
I told you to rest.
Now you have no choice.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
We painted you
Red, red.
Red like the autumn leaves.
Red like the fire that casts
All others into shadow.
Red like me.
And we danced.
Even as I watch,
I don't understand.
You are like water,
Deep and dark.
So how is it that water can
Glow so bright?
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♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I lay, sun-soaked.
You've let me do this lately.
You are growing weary.
I recognize, now,
The fact that you
Push me down.
In my dreams,
Which are not dreams,
I catch hints.
People you dance with.
Others who follow you,
And whom you follow.
I could follow, too.
Weren't we friends, once?
Didn't we run together
In the land of darkness?
You lit the way,
I danced behind.
You laughed until
I laughed, too.
My fiery companion,
Are you still my friend?
You, who laughs at all.
Why are you so frightened?
Even the brightest blaze
Must sink into the embers
And simmer there.
My friend,
I'm weary, too.
My body aches.
Will you rage across
This forest
Until there is nothing left
To burn?
Sleep,
My friend.
I would never let
Your embers die.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
So, so tired.
I leaped with the best of them today,
But when my playmates lay,
So did I.
Ravus, why so far away?
Closer.
I don't believe in personal space.
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♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I feel as though I've lost something.
The snow fell down today,
Disappearing as it hit the ground.
I chuckled at the fawns
Who danced and danced around,
But didn't join them.
My smiling mouth is sore.
My soul, tired.
I wish I could rest,
Just for a moment.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
It was deafening, but
I kept the worst from him.
Two playmates gone at once.
My gray friend's compassion and fear
Suffocated me.
I hid behind another
Until the fight was over.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I had a nightmare.
The forest was bright as day,
But the hearts of deer were dark.
There were sounds that came from
Everywhere.
The clash of antlers.
Sharp hooves against flesh.
The grass turned black, then red.
Despair.
An angel limped into the distance.
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Gustiro, a stag from my childhood.
From the gray one's childhood.
You don't recognize me, I'm sure.
I'll sneak up while you sleep
And lay by your side.
If I hadn't dozed off,
I might have seen you depart, as well.
But it's alright.
I find a friend from earlier in the day.
And another
And another
And the loss of Gustiro
Seems a little lessened.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Bruised from yesterday's fun,
I felt my control slipping.
He stirred.
The terror of darkness was
Dampened by my exhaustion.
I let him wake.
It was just like olden days.
Just like that,
Except he wasn't crying.
We sat together.
We sat.
When he fell asleep again,
It was to the sound of birds.
Even now, he doesn't stir.
Even though I romp and play.
Even though I laugh and shout.
He is peaceful.
Is this how it could be?
Could we exist like this,
Together?
I fear I could be wrong.
I fear a future of darkness,
Where he finds another light
And I am cast into shadow.
I fear it.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this what it feels like to be rested?
To gain a night's sleep,
And wake without the pain
Of having
Run and run and run...
For hours that you can't recall?
I felt him sitting close by.
He felt warm, but didn't burn.
We sat atop a pillar at the ruins.
Together, we watched the forest.
I felt peaceful.
I drifted off into a peaceful slumber.
Not like usual.
Not like the deep sleep.
That deep slumber
He presses upon me.
The one where
I promise myself:
If I never wake up,
I won't blame him.
...I try so hard not to blame him.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
A circle of mushrooms,
And... what is this?
A blazing sun, high overhead?
A stranger that feels
Familiar to my soul,
Yet I do not know his face.
I could cry for joy.
He sits so far off...
Even in this place,
I feel alone.
But I am thankful for the sunrise.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
The forest is alight.
We dance together in discordant harmony,
Minions of the same master.
A fire that spreads across the forest,
Consuming the weak-minded.
This cacophony of movement
Exhausts my reserves.
I'll rest for now.
Enjoy the sunlight,
Little gray one.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I wake with a weary mind
And aching limbs.
And memories of things
That never happened.
Ysreal, I dreamt of you.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
He sleeps.
The forest is bright
And full of life.
I know you, pretty doe.
The warmth in his darkness.
The warmth that doesn't burn.
I'll keep you from him.
That way, when he chooses,
He'll choose me.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
In a cold world,
There is no choice.
One must burn,
Lest both freeze.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
A false sun.
Heat without reason.
Warmth that singes.
I watch the fire and
Am overwhelmed by
Its simple purpose.
To burn.
To survive.
To thrive.
I am alone, yet not.
The one that keeps me company
Is the fire in my soul.
The false sun
Who tells me to come closer.
The one who tells me to burn.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Previously...
In
September
For those of you who are totally confused (or just tuning in), Vodun became so depressed in September by the loneliness of the festival grounds that he cracked. The "fire" he's referring to is an invisible friend his subconscious created to keep him company. It goes by the same name, Vodun (or Vo). As time progressed, the friend became fidgety. It knew that once the forest became bright again, it would die. Like a fire, it chose to consume its surroundings... the mind that created it... in order to survive. It lures Vodun into his own mind with a promise of warmth and comfort that the forest can no longer provide.
Now, Vodun's mind is split between red and gray.
If you meet Vodun in the forest from this time forward, you are probably playing with the red (fire) personality. He laughs, hops, and generally makes a fool of himself, regardless of whether anyone is watching or enjoying the attention.
If Vodun is acting shy, nuzzling more, or wanting to sleep, you're most likely playing with the gray personality. Consider this rarity an honor, since Red is picky about who he lets Gray interact with.
Neither personality is aggressive. Gray will recede if something frightening happens, and Red will laugh it off (and often play with the cause of the fright), defending himself only when he's forced to.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Feel free to interact with him here ♥
Just keep in mind that I do have a sort of "plot" in mind, so please don't be sad or feel dejected if you can't "fix" him. He was made to be broken.
(No subject)
Updated music~ Thank you,
Thank you, Kitty! X3
Update: I'm adding a bunch of stuff to October 2nd.. mostly because I haven't been able to update before now (been busy) and I didn't want to wait any longer.
Update2: Added a "Previously..." at the bottom for those who don't want to go back and read September's blog (or who want more of an explanation). If you prefer to remain slightly fuzzy about the details of what's happening, feel free to ignore it.
Update3: October 3rd update! To reflect the epic flash mob-ness that Vodun was able to join~
Awesome, and -- "The forest
"The forest is alight.
We dance together in discordant harmony,
Minions of the same master."
Love that Makime appears to be some sinister overlord here. xD
Pff, he totally was/is XD Did
Vodun and I loved it.
Edit: Changed something, then put it back. Disregard the update, sorry ;u;
/flail c:
c:
Tracking this, as well.
Shame on me for not stalking
You gaaaaiz ;u; *sniffles
Thanks so very, very much! ♥
Update: Oh man, Vodun saw a fight today!
He hid behind another deer (the one they were fighting over, I believe, although he didn't realize it, since he didn't understand what was going on) like the young thing he is, and then ran off a short ways when the other deer came to claim its prize.
I wish I knew their names ;u; I think one was Dinah Moon? But I'm not sure~ It all happened really fast, and Vo wouldn't get close enough to see their pictos clearly.
(Finally replying to your
-----
Vodun's eyes widened as she approached the light. He felt a thrill of fear that had nothing to do with a pleasant sunrise, and everything to do with the ball of flame eating away at the unfortunate tree. He wanted to yell at her to back away, but something inside him wanted to watch. It wanted to see what the flame would do. Wanted something to burn.
Even if that something is Ysrael...
"Ysrael!" he bellowed, leaping forward. A piece of glowing bark jumped down onto him, singeing his pelt, but he ignored it. Her words gave him a second's pause, but more than ever, he was aware. Aware of the dying tree. Aware of the smoke that burned his nostrils and filled his lungs, and the heat that dried and made the skin tighten across his cheeks. He coughed, stepping in front of the doe and bodily pushing her back.
The tree split in two, one side crashing down and raining red embers across the ground. The rain swarmed around them, killing them instantly and leaving the ground scarred black. It was true, the flame was dying. And so was the tree.
This warmth was destructive.
This light was false.
False? No, not false.
This light consumes. It breathes. It eats.
It dies.
This light is -alive-.
"That's more true than the sun will ever be..." he murmured softly, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Aww this update... pretty
Haha, Ravus was (obviously) being weird today--she gets that way around Geisha, you know, and she's all about balance--sometimes she'll do the opposite of what she really wants which in this case was to lie close to her friends.
Mostly I regret that she sprung off and by the time she doubled back around to Geisha, Vodun was gone... and therefore he left with this last weird impression of Ravus abandoning both of you! xD Sorry about that! She DID come back, haha, and at least mentally she did say good-bye to Vo.
I knooooow ;u; When Ravus lay
......lolkidding. He was more just shocked that his friend would rest so far away, and was scared that Ravus would think he cared more about Geisha (whom he'd just met) than he did about her.
So Ravus has a weird thing with Geisha, hnn? >u>
I knew when I logged on that Vo wouldn't have much time to play~ I was really happy that he got to actually see and meet someone (two people!) instead of just hopping around sporadically. But when Vo lies down, we never expect people to lay as long as he does, so it's perfectly reasonable that Ravus went hopping off XD
Hahaha! She kind of knew she
Yeah. xD JD has been kind enough to let Ravus semi-stalk Geisha recently and I'm trying to rein it in, rein it it...
"I was really happy that he got to actually see and meet someone (two people!) instead of just hopping around sporadically."
... That made me LOL. Aw, Vo.... normally Ravus WILL lie down next to a friend forever (or if she does take off, she'll return, she just has itchy feet). She'll definitely do that for Vo (her weirdness at whatever time permitting).
I love windowed mode and that it suddenly allows my deer to exhibit something that looks like patience. xD it was so nice to log on and see you, too. I'm still getting used to your picto for some reason but Vo's set is unmistakable!
Edit - Because I just read this entry and had to say something about it! I loved it, so sad and... once again, I just love how sincerely Vo always seems to feel, whichever personality it is.
(Aw, it is no problem. I've
~ ~ ~
The deafening roar of the fire made Ysrael's breath catch in her throat as it fell over their heads, crashing and sizzling downwards upon the earth in death's last display. The remaining flames flickered and spat angrily, exhausting the rest of their fuel and oxygen among the damp air.
Ysrael's legs shook beneath her and she took a step back, the last of the adrenaline ebbing from her body. She saw Vodun's twisted smile, but could not make out his words over the falling rain and dying embers.
"Vodun..." she called to him, again stepping backwards. "Come away... and we will await the return of our true sun..."
At her words, which rang
He followed her back, staying as close as he reasonably could, shivering despite the fire's heat. His skin burned and froze in turns, the rain and fire acting cruelly upon it.
"Our true sun..." he echoed dully, nodding. But his heart was heavy. The true sun. The light that hung high in the sky. The one that had abandoned them.
The one that doesn't live...
...But then, how could it die?
It wasn't dead. It had chosen to leave them here, alone, in the darkness.
-----------
(Oh, good XD That makes me feel better~)
Ravus; Haha~! Aww, silly
LOL! I love the concept of "letting" someone stalk XD I take it Geisha doesn't particularly care for this? |D
Your "X-files" thing (aside from getting Ravus and Karuna mixed up) sealed your picto for me. I wish I could think of something so iconic for Vo's XD But yeah, he looks pretty weird, so feel free to rely on that.
Awuuu, thank yooou! ;u; ♥ I'd happily write just for myself, but sometimes it's nice to know that others enjoy it. (Not begging for comments here, promise!) ♥ ♥
Yeah, I... don't know. xD
emotionally crippled, um, reserved. I have no idea what Geisha makes of it; JD just said Geisha probably likes the attention. Really it just creeps ME out having a stalker character. xDAnyway, I'm ALWAYS reading Vo's stuff, just so you know. If I ever don't comment it's probably more in the way of "........WELL? And then what?" like you do with a good book... Sometimes you need more of the writing to digest it properly. :3
Supertrack. I swear Shaku,
I swear Shaku, I'm in love with Vodun. XD
Ravus; Haha~ It's so funny,
Awwww *warm fuzzies* ;u; *snugs* LOL, that is so kickass XD I feel so special~ *writewritewrite*
Ryff; Omgggthankyou!! ♥
Ysrael nuzzled his neck as
"Have faith in our sun, Vodun... For it never truly leaves us. It is always present, even if not visible. Just like the endless beating of our own hearts, deep within our chests..."
She cast a wary glance at the smoldering heap of embers they had left behind. Soon it would be swallowed by the rain, and then by the forest itself, giving up its own life to create something new its place. So was the cycle of the life web.
"It is always turning. Never ending. We will awake when it returns."
*stalkstalkstalk* Hey, can I
Hey, can I RP with Ryff in here?
Ryff; Go for it! Although
Sorry for the wait, Ysrael!
-----------
"Yes.."
Vodun wanted to believe. Truly, he did. And with Ysrael so close by, he almost felt the purity of her words.
Like the beating of our hearts...
If a heart can be trusted.
His heart twisted, feeling dry, like the bark of the burning tree.
But Ysrael was warm and soft, and calmed his shivering.
"Come on, let's get out of the rain," he said quickly, looking around for the great mushrooms that appeared often during these times.
Updated. I wanted to have
Oh, I can't comment too much
There is no need to
~ ~ ~
The two bodies moved away from the dying tree, with it's dying flames and dying warmth. Ysrael took one last glance behind her as she walked, wondering what would become of the smoldering log once all it's energy was spent.
"Where do you think it's life will go, when it is gone...?" she asked Vodun, her ears low against her head.
Her question hung in the damp air, muffled by the rain. Her eyes fixed on the ground beneath her, and the bending of the grass as her hooves moved over their stalks.