I love the snow. My fur was finally useful...I wasn't hot, not in the least. It felt so good. I was racing about while the others curled and huddled up, at peace in the chill air. The stags seem to have all calmed down with the cold, lying down in silence instead of chasing scents.

I didn't have to change and hide away, not once.

Today I found myself alone.

Silence seemed like a blessing of sorts. I tried to rest, tried to close my eyes and sleep...but they would not have it. The Gods seemed to want me to look back upon my short life in this forest. So I did; I remembered being a fawn, seeing the horrific battles and praying to the Twin Gods for peace. They gave me the gift of flight...the gift of a dove. I was so stubborn then, I asked to fly higher, to not be passed and stepped upon...such a greedy young one I had been. Silent and secret, but greeedy. They made me a bat. When I was out of fawn-hood they grew me tall and strong. I had only the gods...for no doe would claim me. I was too quick, too quiet, and too weak.

But,

The birds saved me from my thoughts. The came, they sang, they danced on my head, and sat on my small antlers, more decorative than anything. They got me to stand and chase them, they got me to dance around and play again. The birds...I love them all. They led me to a new silence. He was quite strange and made no sound at all. If only all stags could be so quiet. The forest would be a lovely place. But back to this one, this Silence his antlers seemed made of magic. I wanted to touch them but see, I could not, I feared him just a little.

A sun-up and a sun-down.
I wonder when this strange season will end.

Today I feel...

Relaxed? No, not quite. I am happy as can be, jittery, irritable, paranoid, worried, and just about everything in between. I wonder where Melfice has been, everything seems to be building up to the rutting...he might get caught in the trouble. All of the stags are edgy and overprotective...they're already gathering up does to herd. All of the does seem to be relaxed... Some of their faces seem so aloof, so serene, I wonder if they are aware of what is coming. Of course I must be different, I must panic and try to bring everyone to peace before the chaos truly begins. Kozan, that little buck, the velvet is still on the base of his sleek new antlers...he thinks he's big enough to challenge them. I remember my days before, deer like him got killed so quickly. Here it seems like death doesn't exist...but it must.

It has to...

I tried to talk to Rune today. Ourania got us dancing though, and that was the end of that. He might've known what to tell me of this silent Thunderbird about to unfurl its wings.

The rut.
My absolute worst time of the year.