Nil extra Numerum (Player Blog)

Nazzard's picture






The less you say,
the more weight your words will carry.









Recent Updates ; 2/ 10 / 2019




This years off to a greeaatt start. Jk not really. My mental state is total trash, I'm sick constantly, and my Bipolar disorder is making me shut down to levels I've not been to in years. I've missed more work than I have in years. I just can't. The struggle is real. I'm taking a literal cocktail of medication to remain vaguely stable. Which makes me tired all the time.

THAT and this fucking site is not helping. I've been back for a long enough span of time for things to suddenly go to shit for no reason. Which is making it hard to want to remain active. Especially since I'd rather just play around somewhere where I'm not constantly worried that I'm somehow offending someone. Or coming off cold. Or somehow being an asshole. Or trigging severe anxiety attacks that always mighty morph into panic attacks that transform into migraines. WOO FUN TIMES.

I'll admit to being a total twat in my earlier days. As many of us were. However I took my year long break and have completely changed my demeanor. Especially since I've found much of it was due to the influence of who I was friends with at the time. WHICH admittedly, made me extremely negative, judgmental, and all around cruel.

However I'm naturally quiet and reserved. I'm also extremely shy. Which doesn't seem to act in my favor. If anyone has questions about my characters. My plot plans. My ideas. My personal thoughts. ANYTHING, just ask. I'd rather you ask than assume. I often don't update character profiles so things happen in between that other's may not be aware of. If you or your characters ever have any concern or interest in what happens between those long spans of time. Just ask. PLEASE stop assuming things. I've had issue with this time and time again with different people. This is an issue that's gone on for years. On that note. Also stop assuming OOC things as well. If you have questions about my feelings/actions on/towards people, or characters, or both. Please just ask so I can explain my actions, and if needed, apologize.

Another note is that I do work full time. I have a steady relationship. I have friends that demand time IRL to go out to eat/drink/do stuff. I have a lot of animals. I'm about to get a puppy. So I'm scarce in game, but I'm ALWAYS on discord. It's an app I constantly have open. I'm always open for roleplay even if the character isn't in forest. Hell, I'm happy to be talked to.

I'm not here to many enemies. Ideally I'm here to relieve stress and escape into my characters for awhile. Although I love in character drama. The out of character drama has got to stop. It's killing this community.






10/ 4 / 2018
Nothing like starting the year off in a mental rut that makes it difficult to function like a normal human being. Luckily I have things in order that allow me to take mental health days. Next week I find out if one of the puppies from my breeders litter is show quality and if I get to take him home as a show prospect. My fingers are crossed. So I DO have that to look forward to.

Luckily I've had a lot of art muse, which is something I've been lacking recently. SOO yeah. There's that.

Christmas was fine, it was hectic since I have to go to two different households now that I'm in a relationship. Which is fine, different but fine.

10 / 15 / 2018

Uhh, so yeah. My life, though decent, has been hectic. After a long six months it's finally winding down in some aspects and gearing up in others. I've woefully fallen behind on keeping up with my day to day journal irl (not this thing...) which is an utter shame. Not to mention a pain in the ass cause I'lll have to go back and piece together my days so that I can fill in the blanks.

My cat is currently sick with an ear infection. We go to follow up with the vet tomorrow. So fingers crossed things look good. Granted, I'm not opposed to having to pill shoot the poor boy if need be. So far it's just been drops, but we shall see. All of this is due to the boyfriend's corgi having a freaking ear fetish. -___-

Work is.... both heaven and hell. I still love it, but the stress is incredible. Higher ups feel the need to take away perks due to poor service levels. Making those of us with more difficult time intrusive jobs suffer. However, I'm thankful I have it. Especially because... dogs. In particular Cooper. If I had an extra 10k laying around I'd clone him.

03 / 30 / 2018
Oh for Fucks sake I need a medicine adjustment. I'm hyper-paranoid that I'm a nuisance and a bother, so I'm doing that age old thing where I isolate myself and become a total brick wall. So I'm falling back into the habit of not wanting to log into TEF because I'm terrified of rejection. Which makes absolutely no fucking sense since pretty much everyone is a pleasure to talk to. So I suppose it's just me dwelling on things that happened freaking forever ago and kicking myself for being a spoiled asshole.

I suppose I have some lingering anxiety over the fact I bailed on TEF in the first place, so transitioning back is rather... awkward. Big thanks to everyone who's put up with my bat shit random rp posts that I practically fling around.

On the bright side, I'm officially transitioned into my new position. So yay. I've gotten a lot of what has needed to be done. Done. Which is nice. Again, paranoid that I'm failing as a CEA and that the category is going to mark me an idiot. Granted, this is how it is when crazybrain takes over. Everything causes anxiety. Woo-hoo!!

Doing that thing where I can't eat... which is fun. So I'm resorting to eating whatever doesn't make my stomach feel like a flip-flopping fish.

I seriously need to fill this dang bio out and make it into the hub it was destined to be. Half the characters listed either are inactive or retired, with most of my active characters missing entirely. Someone give me the time and will to write. .

02 / 20 / 2018
One month later...

Sooooo I got a promotion into a new position. Which is awesome, and I'm super stoked about. Even if I currently feel like I'm failing hardcore and am swimming up a creek without a paddle. I know this feeling comes with the territory, especially since a lot more people, important people, are counting on me to be successful. So my stress level is through the dang roof. In a good, but bad, way. Good because YAY lots of stuff to do, BAD because I'm stressed to the point my body's on a hunger strike. Meaning, any food I try to eat makes me incredibly ill. It's so much fun, let me tell you.

The worst part of the month is that I owe $400 in taxes because no one ever fucking goes over this shit in highschool. PRO TIP EVERYONE, do NOT claim anything on your w-4. EVER because if you fill it out like the guidelines prompt you to, the IRS will fuck you sideways. Sooo lovely.

I'll just have to find a way to cope, and seriously start budgeting. Especially since I'll, hopefully, being getting a show prospect puppy this summer. My place on the wait-list as been confirmed, and I"m in the process of saving every nickel and dime in preparation. That, and I've started going to handling class that's located in the AG barn on campus every other Monday. My friend has been letting me borrow her boxers, and I've been learning the ins and outs of their standard + how to stack and present them to judges. Which is nice, even though I'm getting into PEMs. However, apparently, once you learn how to handle one dog, you can handle most any dog.

THAT BEING SAID, I need to kick myself into gear and hopefully pump out some half decent adopts. Since I've been on one of my art kicks where my art becomes half decent due to a serious hiatus.


01 / 16 / 2018
I just wanted to come in here and update, not that I think anyone ever actually reads this thing. Especially since it's not filled out. However, I wanted to bring some light to my sudden absence back in March of 2017 that lasted till January 2018...

Back in January of 2017 I was hired into a new job with an absolutely awesome company. I'll give a hint, we're the leading manufacture of high end electronic pet products. It's an amazing place the atmosphere is open and bright and the people are genuine. Not to mention that we're valued as employee's and treated like gold. So the benefits are out of this world. Not to mention I get to bring my dog to work and that they'll work around a schooling schedule so I'll be able to get my ass into gear and get back to school. (!!Warning rant ahead!! Which is another thing I finally accomplished this year. I wasn't able to apply for financial aid the past four years due to my parents being shit and not giving me their S.S numbers so that I could fill out the forms. When I tried to find out how to file my FASFA as an independent I found it to be almost impossible and because of that have had to loose out on FOUR YEARS of college that I could have been going to. This year I managed to get my birth mothers SS number so that I can finally fill everything out. Soooo next fall I'll finally be able to start, I'm starting hellishly late, but better late than never.)

However my job took over my life, coupled with numerous other things that had my attention, so TEF took a back burner. I was still semi-active up until some shit went down and I threw in the towel. I couldn't take the drama, I couldn't take feeling like I was the bad guy constantly. So I left without telling anyone whatsoever. My intention was to stay gone and when TEF reared it's dramatic head back in the fall over some lingering bullshit that was tef mingled with irl, it sent me in a downward spiral and really solidified the idea I was never ever setting foot in TEF again.

Then some more crazy shit happened and I became a medicated human being with tamed demons. Which brought back my will and want to draw, something that had been missing for almost a year. Thus making me pull up a lot of unfinished TEF related art. Which perked my curiosity and had me snooping around the community again, which had me reaching out to a few people and tentatively tossing a couple characters in. Which awoke my want to write, something that had been missing for YEARS. As some of you may have noticed over time my idea of RP was lacking, and that's because I never had the interest to actually toss posts at people. Now I do, so, huzzah.

I'm still here tentatively as I've not entirely made up my mind to stay. Work and life are extremely time consuming and my work hours are late. So it makes it difficult to tef most of the time. However, I'm going to make an effort to stay, as I've enjoyed all the RP's I've had in the short few weeks that I've been back and the amount of art I've shot out in the past few days is astonishing. I'm enjoying having an outlet again, and in all honesty, I missed everyone.

That being said I hope no one has any lingering grudges or misconceptions about me. I'm sure some snippets of personal TEF / IRL drama has gotten out and if anyone has questions or concerns I'm more than happy to answer them honestly. I'm an adult, and I intend to act like one.

06 / 31 / 2016
Many thanks to Fuu for this amazing bio <3. Now watch it never get entirely filled out :[

Quick update.

I'm insanely busy with work and my apprenticeship. So I'm not as active as I have been in the past. I try as I can to get and be on. As of right now I'm 100% caught up on all trades and commissions, so go and commission me if you wish. Getting images out is getting to be A LOT easier as my apprenticeship goes on, seeing as a lot of my training is in speed and dexterity. I'm still working on color theory, however, where it's lacking in my digital pieces; it's awesome with my traditional airbrushed pieces.


Side note, airbrushes are pure undiluted evil to work with. Fun though.




The Player
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Name: Rae
Online Name: Nazzard
Birthdate: January 19th, 1995
Zodiac: Capricorn. ♑
Size: 5'0, petite build.
Location: Tennessee.
Forest Picto: Click.
IF Set: Monarch Pelt || Candles || Skull mask

Skype: .........
Email: .......

Off-site

Tumblr, deviantART, others?

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OOC
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AHHHHH

AHH

AHHH

AH


Characters
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L A V I N I A - ψ

Mother to five, addicted to Arcturus. Reformed escort and a recovering drug addict. Feisty in personality. Wary of strangers. Judgmental to the point of detriment. Hypocrite in many ways. Has a way with manipulating words as it was a major part of her rise to glory. Has it's downfalls in the fact that the curse of manipulating those around her has become almost second nature.

"Every rose has it's thorns."



K Y R I A N - ψ

Fire, flame, and fight. Cursed to rage against children due to an inborn reaction to the chemical scent of youth. See's red and loses all sense of self. Will not hesitate to stomp children into the ground as any that are able to be culled are considered weak by his species. Guilty. When removed from children shame overwhelms his sense of self. A bibliophile to the core. Owns an extensive library. Skilled in manipulating dream matter. Weaves from realities web to bring his own creatures to life.

"Wretched are the weak, the cursed, and the broken."


I S A B E A U - ψ

Feathered doe. Suffers greatly from anxiety and depression caused by a multitude of traumatic events. Heavily scarred in both flesh and soul by the savage rejection of her blood family. Has found a soothing balm in her adoptive family, but as time passes finds herself feeling distant. Gifted with draconic magic, shifting abilities, and controlling electromagnetic energy. A dwarf in stature.

"Given time. Everything can change."


G E N T Y - ψ

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"Some hella words here?"




S H A I L A - ψ

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"Some hella words here?"


Y V E T T E - ψ

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.

"Some hella words here?"


V L A D I K - ψ

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.

"Some hella words here?"








OshiBoo's picture

a late af track

a late af track

Lathyrus's picture

&hearts;