Ohh. I forgot all about this one. There is my E-mail, but I can only check that during the times I can get in the forest as well. My internet connection is limited.

It was two people, and bad things keep happening OOCly. If I stay here, it won't ever stop, so I'm saving myself a lot of grief.

If there is one thing I have learnt in 6+ years of being in TEFc,
a lot of things that go on here are petty.

A lot of peoples focus gets so small and ridiculous that the most mundane and silly things become dramas. But perhaps that realisation comes with age. Regardless, I did not like what had happened to you regards the design accusations, I felt it was a bit of a witch hunt. But hey, mistakes happen too. And maybe regrets too.

Basically, what I am trying to say is try not to let these pathetic occurences get you down. If you do something and enjoy it? Great! Forget the rest. I remember in my younger days I would make countless "Im leaving" blogs over menial things, then I'd come back. This cycle repeated itself until the word "I'm leaving" lost all integrity. And it's the same story for so many members.

Sometimes all it takes is a breath in and out, log out and give it some time. Its far more effective than creating guilt-ridden blogs which just add to the whole negative nature I find in this community from time to time.

I hope wherever you find yourself, all the best, and we hope the goodbye is not forever. Things that you love should never suffer in the stead of such things.

Adding to what Parrots and Evern said--and I agree with them both--

If it's a case of people being straight up bad, I'd say ignore them. I remember months ago the thing Parrots mentioned and it didn't seem right to me then and it didn't seem right to me now but you just got back and I have no idea what's up this time. You're a child (and I do not say that to be condescending) and there is no excuse ever for adults to be cruel to children. If people have legitimate issues with you I hope they can talk it out in a peaceable way and everyone can move on.

If it's a case of a misunderstanding, I hope you'll be able to correct it politely with people. If people can sit down and talk with "I felt x way because of y event" or "I thought that things were z because of n event" then hopefully the situation can be resolved more calmly without any finger pointing until the root of the misunderstanding can be corrected, people can find out who felt what and who thought what and any necessary apologies can be made.

You're... what, twelve was it? Being twelve's hard for everyone. Communicating properly on the internet is hard, even for adults. Being part of a community is hard, especially a complicated community with a lot of big feelings.

I would also like to extend that to the rest of you who have no idea what had happened and by your comments, are pretty much slandering us for defending ourselves.

Next time I will screenshot what was said, because nothing irritates me more than having my friends be slandered for stupid shit.

I just want to poke in here and say that updates are by no means a statement that your character indefinitely did something. Updates are a player's character's interpretations of your character's actions that your updates are free to clarify. If someone walked up to me in real life and sneezed in my face I'd still be pretty ticked. Regardless, nobody controlled your character. Somebody made updates concerning how they perceived your character's actions, you were the one that assumed they controlled them.

Uhh.. no one yelled at you for posting on my blog. I simply stated that my updates were my characters perception, and explained why I thought so. I did not control your character and you instantly decided to freak out and wrote ooc slander under my character's name in your character's relations.

I, in fact, had no ooc issues with you, like you think I did? I just made an IC update about Zaf's day. It was IC. I did not do it to control you, or be a bully. Yet now you try to make Ems and I look like we attacked you.

Also, It never said Nerissa was ill, and Sneezing when zaf head tilted is a pretty odd thing to do. I'm sure you can see where the mix-up came from.

So I ask, Please just, stop. Don't assume things, and stop trying to make us look bad.

I said I didn't want to be friends with people who take IC actions OOCly.

NO ONE said that. No one.

I will not have people saying she did when she didn't. That's cheating and god-modding by controlling another's character.

Read Torns post.

I can understand her taking it the wrong way because the community made their own rules about what actions mean what, however I'm not aware of them all and I shouldn't be held at fault when I contacted the player to clarify the situation

You could have asked nicer. You sounded very rude.


The problem is that this was being discussed on skype. You brought it to the community, twisting it around as if we are the ones making it OOC when people were trying to explain to you, on Skype, what sneezing is usually perceived as. That in NO WAY stated that people were taking your actions OOCly, not in the LEAST. Do NOT pretend that we are making you out to be a bad guy. Nothing would or SHOULD have been said if you didn't make those rude comments on your bio. I asked you to remove them, you deleted it altogether. I have copy and pasted it but unfortunately I did not screenshot it so I cannot expect it to be reasonable proof. I'll remember to do so next time.

I'll openly admit I should have been nicer about asking you to take the comments down (because I am a goddamn hypocrite), but alas what was said was said and I accept the repercussions of my words. But do NOT pretend to be innocent when you fanned the flames, on the community, when it EASILY could have been kept to skype. That was your own doing.

This is all I am going to say. I am done trying to defend myself and my friends, frankly I don't need to. I know plenty of people understand despite them not voicing their opinions.

Have a good one regardless.

I didn't bring it here. The only things said on Skype were with one player...and she WAS yelling at me for it and being very hurtful in her words. I would copy paste them, or even screen shoot the convo, but what would that do?

Soli, I had nothing against you till you started posting in here.

I didn't have anything against Zaf's player either, till she started being rude. I had apologized before any of this got out of hand. All I've done was defend my character and nothing else. I didn't have a problem with it till people started being rude about it. I even tried to nicely leave and you won't even let me do that. I DO feel like you are turning me into a bad guy. I've had enough of that without the help of this.

Well we must have a different view of what's rude then. It's not my fault everyone takes me and what I say the wrong way.

You didn't bring what here? The drama? There it is right on this very blog, started by you. Why make a notice about about something that happens almost daily with different players.
This really isn't a place for people who take everything to their heart right away. Maybe breathe and take a break and don't let simple things that don't matter in a larger scale affect your day negatively. Stepping back is a good option yet so often ignored when people are fighting to prove their opinion is the only right one.

All I said was she didn't spit. I get two people on my butt yelling at me that this wasn't the case, and all I could do was defend myself. Not wanting to deal with their drama anymore, I decide to leave. Now everyone is on my butt because I'm the one -starting- drama? Drama was happening before this post. Long before it. I should have left last night instead of giving them another chance.

All I said was she didn't spit.

Yes, that has already been established and we also explained how characters interpret it. Please reread Torn's post.

I get two people on my butt yelling at me that this wasn't the case, and all I could do was defend myself.

I didnt say anything until you posted rude things on Nerissa's bio.

Not wanting to deal with their drama anymore, I decide to leave.

And still saying rude things whilst doing so.

Now everyone is on my butt because I'm the one -starting- drama?

This post started it.

Drama was happening before this post. Long before it. I should have left last night instead of giving them another chance.

STOP. BAITING. You're trying to add MORE drama! DROP IT.

I had apologized. It went ignored.

Shame I had to actually contact the makers to remove this blog themselves because my simple request was ignored.

Take care.

I tab alot in game I didn't even know Neri came to Zaf after last night because I was busy on another Character. You weren't ignored and you never even told me. I wouldn't have ignored you. Now please, stop trying to make us look like we oocly attacked you.

There is really no need to contact M&A for something as small as this. It's not up to them to moderate this place and it's entirely up to the OP if they want to delete a blog or not. There is nothing technically "rule-breaking" or offensive about it that would require M&A to take action.

/takes a seat

I hate to stoke the fire. I hate getting involved in arguments but I do it anyway because I'm just a glutton for punishment.

/cracks knuckles.

Alright. Jun, I definitely understand where you are coming from. I can understand that it's frustrating when other people don't understand your character's actions the way you meant for them to be interpreted. It happens often, but that's why I have a lot of tef people in my skype contacts. I don't even talk to them regularly, but our characters might fight or otherwise interact regularly, and I like to be able to talk to them about who's doing what and we can easily discuss things without someone getting out of line or upset. I understand that this is not always a possibility for you because you couldn't get skype previously, but it sounds like you have it now? I'm not entirely sure.

Anyway, I can understand that this can be frustrating. But it's no reason to bring public drama and leave in a huff. I beg you not to just stop reading here and read this whole post through. I'm not berating anyone today, and I'm trying very hard to be fair.

What I think is happening is that you feel attacked due to things that have happened before. I promise you that this isn't the case. Just calm down and breathe. Nobody is out to get you and make you the bad guy. In fact, nobody here is a bad guy. Let's stop playing the blame game and assuming that everyone has malicious intent and see this for what it really is: a misunderstanding.

Now that that's said, I want to move on to the action itself. I'm talking to everyone now.

Many characters use sneezing as spitting, but there are exceptions to every rule. Not everyone follows every code of conduct to the letter, and it varies widely between character to character. Most people see antler lowering as aggression, for example, but I have a character that has no antlers and has mannerisms different from that of a deer, so when he lowers his head he is simply rubbing his head on someone, usually in a friendly way. My characters use sneezing as a spitting action, but it can also be used if they are sick, crying, or as a little laugh! The only difference is the grand thing that is very important in every language, vocal or otherwise, context.

Yes. Context. What was the context of these characters meeting? Would it make sense for the character to simply spit in the face of another under friendly terms? Would it make sense for the character to spit at all? You have to understand the limitations of the game's language. We don't have actions for every specific thing under the sun, and as a result context becomes even more important than it already is. Junalia said it was a simple sneeze, and so I believe it was a sneeze. Even if it's widely interpreted as a spitting action, you can't just overrule her character's action and call it something else even as you were discussing it peacefully over skype. You can't steamroll people like that. You can't steamroll people either way, but I digress.

That being said, sneezing in another's face is a bit rude, but that's besides the point. We can at least assume that she had the manners to turn her head. But since we can't turn our heads in-forest while doing an action, it just happened to be a direct hit. Oops!

As for the involvement of M&A: Chill out. They have more important things to worry about than this. If we sicked them on every drama thread on this community like you seem so gung-ho about, they'd shut down the site for good. Let us work things out on our own, the way they want us to.

It won't. It's my decision and people have the choice to ignore it, which many have. This is over with now, and you posting again won't make things any better either.


Raven, thank you so much for that. You really are the voice of clarity. Would it be alright if I have your E-mail?

Thank you. You've really helped me here, and I hope Jun is able to keep one of her most trusted guardians. I'm not leaving the forest, just not participating here aside from updating bios.

I'd like to clarify some things, because I believe you've misunderstood my position (and and I think quite likely the others') and I don't want any more misunderstandings. I have no issues here with anyone and would have kept out of it, but I don't want you to hold the wrong idea. To fully clarify my last post: I referenced a months-ago past thing but otherwise made clear my lack of understanding of the current situation, and I spoke generally about my position against adults being cruel to children (which I have not seen happen in this thread) and, because I kinda suspected a misunderstanding of some kind was the cause of angst, gave some suggestions on that, since not everyone (and especially not kids) is very good at communicating feelings/thoughts/ideas in a peaceful way when they're frustrated. I know I say and do dumb stuff when I get upset and it's just one of those things for me to apologize for later.

My ultimate desire is for misunderstandings to be cleared up, since those are the roots of nearly every argument, so that people don't have to be upset at each other. The last thing I want is people thinking that I am upset with them here when that is not the case. I still like all y'all and don't want anyone to be confused on that front. I just want everyone to get to the bottom of this, or to at least stop being upset.

As for the issue of discussing/arguing things on TEFc, I'll share an opinion for Pandoris--I get where you're coming from because I know a lot of people don't like to see disagreements happen for a variety of reason, but on the other hand it's often for the best if troubles can be worked out in public. Speaking generally, talking about things out in the open is usually the best place to make things clear, especially in a situation where there is a misunderstanding or where someone needs to be held to something they say or have said. Arguments on their own are important too--they're educational in their own bizarre way if we let them be.