I apologize for this, I know it's unnecessary, but I've gotten into a rut again and I need some more help.
No L'oreal jokes, please. 
The question I need to know is quite simply, Am I worth it?
I've told myself countless times how worthless I am, how much I hate the way things are in the world and how powerless I feel. My opinion has gotten me in trouble numerous times, and whenever I feel like I've offended someone I hide what I said, despite the damage being done.
I'm at the point where I just don't think I'm allowed to have an opinion on anything anymore. It's like one of the Buddhist practices I read about, that you 'detach yourself from your surroundings', that you 'let go'. It's part of trying to find a sense of balance, you have no opinion.
Sitting in church today, I had many thoughts and feelings about who I am, and I actually considered how much better the world would be without me. I just don't see the point of being a good person anymore, or rather, despite trying to do good things, I feel like they go unnoticed and my faults and defects are seen at a much greater scale. So why do I even bother trying to be a good person when people are going to continue to take advantage of me and then ridicule me for not being more selfish? Why is it wrong for me to be myself instead of a greedy, selfish, violent person like the world wants me to be?
I don't see myself as anyone of worth, I see myself as a pawn, an expendable human being.
So am I worth anything? Is there any value in trying to be a good person? Or am I just a waste of a life?
Better now. I'm sorry for this post. I will have some serious talks with myself, and I'm starting to realize how childish this was.
Frankly, and with all
I could give you my opinion, but it is something you need to answer for yourself.
It will mean more coming from you than it ever could coming from me.
You are simply what you
I don't think that I can tell you what you are worth, because I believe that you are worth whatever you believe that you are worth. It's like...you can't value life in any real sense. You can't just put a price tag on it beyond that which you put on yourself...if you understand my thinking.
I just don't know if I can
It's like I don't know how to be happy. I can be content, but then things like this happen where I just don't know what to think about myself anymore.
I agree with Tera, but I'll
Yes. You are worth it by every means. I think you're a great guy. You're nice, quirky, open.
I truly believe that no life is a waste. There is something good in EVERYONE.
Aside from that, you really just need to realize that you have worth yourself, Quad. We can tell you what we see in you and everything good about you, but it only counts if you see it for yourself.
You can trust yourself because you're a trustworthy person. And to be happy, you just have to keep working towards it. You will be happy again.
Just keep working and find the things you love in life. No matter what, those are the things that will help you get through.
It isn't about what you're
It's about what you are to yourself and only yourself.
If you see yourself as one thing and pursue it, and I mean really pursue it, the world and everyone else will see you as that too.
Do something for yourself.
I understand where your
And all I can say is your self worth is not determined by the people of this world,it is determined on what you think of yourself.
To my knowledge you are always looking to help donate to help others.Your an amazing writer,and a very kind person who always help others.However,my words mean nothing to you.You might appreciate them ,but if you don't see the quality or the self worth others sees it doesn't matter what they say.Regardless of what you think there would be people who would miss you if you left.Your family for one your friends,and your TEF friends.I can't stess that that sentence enough because you do have people who love you and want you around.I send you positive thoughts and hugs Quad.
Out of curiosity, does anyone
Accepting that you have
Perhaps meditate on things
That way, these things you discover about yourself will always be a rock of encouragement for you, even should you be alone. Even if there is nobody to help, you can still feel good about wanting to help.
That was a really difficult thing to express, so I hope that I didn't come across too muddled. >_<
What do you mean "Am I worth
I sincerely doubt the world would be better off without you, since you don't seem like either a massmurderer or an evil dictator to me. In fact you seem like a really nice and funny guy, and I for one would be heartbroken to see you go.
I'm curious, what has worth to you? What is a "worthy" person like?
A tip on how to be more positive: Don't tell yourself countless times how worthless you are.
And here is something that's really helped me get a clearer perspective on things: The world has six billions of people all with different opinions, very often contradicting each other completely. Why not listen to your own opinion, rather than others? Some people will agree with your ways, some people won't. Why on earth should you listen to those that don't share your ideas and ideals rather than those who do? And guess what, some people may judge you for who you are, but what do they know? They're not you. They don't know you like you do. No one does. They don't know shit. xD
And just.. do whatever makes you happy! Like, all the time! Even if it's stupid or silly or most people won't get it or think you're weird. At some point, you have to learn to live for yourself and not just be the doormat for the rest of the world.
PS: Sorry if I sound a bit preachy. Or VERY preachy even. xD These topics tend to get my adrenaline going a little. ^^U
Maybe this won't inspire you
But look at the filth of the world. People using each other, lying, manipulating, hurting each other. Look at people who are so apathetic they allow awful things to happen. Think of people who made you feel awful intentionally to try and make themselves feel better. Think of parents who leave their children, or raise them to hate. Think of people born into privilege who only want more and resent those who have not. Think of greed that leaves people without drinkable water or suffering of curable disease. Think of egocentricity that destroys non-human species. Think of ignorance that traps human beings into ways of life that are only temporarily beneficial and spawn negative consequences that will last for years to come. Think of the things that fill you with anger and disgust for the world because you know in your heart they are wrong.
Take all of these things. Set them on one side of a scale.
What do you see on the other side of the scale?
What do you already do to help balance this scale?
What could you do to increase your influence?
Maybe this is a backwards way of looking at things and I hope it doesn't make you feel worse. I hope by looking at what is truly black in the world you will realize how much light there is and how light you already are. You may have potential that is yet to be reached, but I hope you know you are on the good side of the scale, and your absence from it would disrupt the balance in a small way now, and maybe a much larger way later in the future, when the effects of what you have yet to do are weighed.
If you feel useless, find ways to be useful. If you feel inefficient, find out why. You have the power to make yourself whatever you want to be.
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Hear hear!! *does the one-man
*does the one-man wave*
Nobody is a waste of a
No matter how hard things get, and no matter how far down you feel there will always be a light at the end of this long dark road. But like our world things will keep changing and keep evolving, we don't know where we will be carried to but without caring people like you the world would be so much worse.
Sometimes we feel left out, useless, and worthless like theres nobody out there that cares for us. But in truth there are many that do. Our faults are our blessings, they make us who we are.
You should always be yourself, even if others don't like it. They just envy you for how true you can be.
I hope things get better for you Quad.
I actually considered how
Why is it wrong for me to be myself instead of a greedy, selfish, violent person like the world wants me to be?
What?
Quad, you are one of the purest people I've ever had the joy of speaking to. I've never, I have genuinely never met anyone with the same amount of compassion towards the world as you. How could your loss ever be interpreted as a good thing for the world?
It needs more people like you.
It is not wrong for you to be yourself.
By being a greedy, selfish, violent person you would be going against everything you believe in. You would be going against yourself.
You are not a bad person. Don't try to become one.
We love you. And trust me, Quad -
You are the farthest thing from expendable.
♥
I love ya' like a brother
Things can always be worse, always, and they will be, and if you can't take a few blows, you will be permanently knocked down. You can either allow this to happen, or decide it will not.
you are one person, out of 7 billion people
on one planet, out of 8 planets
in one star system, out of 100,000,000,000 star systems
in one galaxy, out of 100,000,000,000 galaxies...
you may either believe that you are enormously insignificant.
Or you may do something to change that fact.
It's a big world quad, a big big world, some people don't have the means to go out and make something of ourselves, those who die or become bed ridden young.
If we put faith in others, people, religions, things, to make us strong, how can we ever really be?
Take a piece of paper, write down a letter to yourself, write down your hopes and dreams and encouragement to yourself, that you will be independent, and even if nobody else believes in you that you will
Now, burn it, toss it as a place from a high place, make a paper boat and toss it to the streams. so that every person and power that is can see that you know you CAN take care of yourself.
Do something with your life, get out there and just, live live for everyone who can't live, for the people you've lost and those stuck in beds or sick, I don't know, do me a personal favor and live.
Take a roadtrip, study for a job you want, set a record, go a week without TV or computer and go out every day instead, birdwatch, run walk sing dance draw paint write a song and perform on a street corner, offer to volunteer at a shelter, help someone or something, start a garden, just do something, anything, damn it.
scrape up money, move to a new town, start again, see a doctor and get depression meds if you think you need them, repaint a room, offer to help an older person with odd jobs because, why not? you ask all the time how to make things better, well here's the answer;
make things better
moping and asking won't help, you have to put your hands on the wheel and your foot on the gas because nobody can do it for you and nobody can help if you aren't willing to help yourself.
also have this:
Everyone has already given so
Sorry to bump but all of the
I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Sorry I didn't reply to this
Van, that song really made my day. Thank you once again.
And Spyrre...that picture...you just don't know how beautiful it is. I'm envious of your art, wish I could make such wonders as you do. Thank you!